Geoffrey Boycott: professional Yorkshireman, professional women’s hat wearer, professional nut job

‘Boycs’, the former England opening batsman who dwells in a “corridor of uncertainty”, has written to Little Michael Owen, urging the misfiring striker to try Feng Shui:

“Michael is struggling with his scoring and obviously wants to get back in the England team for the World Cup finals in South Africa.

“So I wrote to him a while back urging him to give it [Feng Shui] a go. If he is not interested, fine, I’ve not a problem with that.

“I am only trying to help and if it helps him find his scoring boots again, then great. Everyone has won.

“He hasn’t replied yet. But if he does, I will put him in touch with some experts in Feng Shui and see where that takes him.”

Crazy talk? Perhaps not. I see what our Geoff means – Owen should try facing the goal once in a while (ho ho, ahem).

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