It’s a shame for poor old Man Urinal aint it? First off, they could be missing Paul Scholes and his deft subtle touches and Wayne Rooney (about as subtle as a dogshit in your jeans pocket) after their sendings off in a ‘friendly’. Then of course there is injuries to Rio Ferdinand and John O’Shea. Of course, they still have the most hated man in football, ‘Winker’ Ronaldo and now further woe. Michael Carrick looks likely to miss the start of the season after a lamely limping off after 14 minutes against Ajax. That’s the ‘18.6 times better than Cantona’ Carrick there. On the floor. Doing a Neil Webb.
With the way the league is these days, you can’t afford to drop points at any stage of the season. Chelsea, even when playing badly, seem to win. ManUre always start slowly. This is why they don’t win the title anymore. Obviously, with all these injuries, they’re looking a bit depleted. Without Ruud Rum up top, poaching away, you have to wonder where United’s goals will come from. Of course, Rooney will bag, but that’s no use if he’s suspended for half the season. Ole Gunnar can find the net, but only takes one big challenge on his frail little legs, and he’s retiring mate. Alan Smith is a thug, plain and simple, and not up to the quality associated with the Man United shirt. Saha? Isn’t he injured too?
So am I going to come up with some kind of solution for this mini crisis? Maybe I should extoll the virtues of Guiseppe Rossi? Nah, I’m just cheering myself up at the misfortune of the most annoying lub in the world.