By Chris Wright
As part of the pre-release plugging for the new Class of ’92 film, David Beckham has been forced to delve into his repressed memories and relive his Manchester United initiation which – and there’s no other way we can really put this – saw him forced into performing a ‘lewd, masturbatory simulation’ while hunched over a photo of United teammate Clayton Blackmore .
Okay, there was a thousand other ways we could’ve put that! Any road up, Becks recalled his darkest hour in a press junket, presumably through gritted teeth and soft, silent tears:
“Everyone had an initiation that you had to go through on the youth team, that was one of the most uncomfortable ones, I got the short straw!
“The fact that I had to look at Clayton Blackmore’s calendar and do certain things…while looking at Clayton Blackmore.
“I mean it was embarrassing to talk about, but it’s something that we all had to go through. It was definitely something I wouldn’t like to go through again!”
Mmmm. Sexy sexy Clayton Blackmore…