It’s been nigh-on 13 years but the identity of the mystery Arsenal assailant responsible for wanging a slice of pizza into Sir Alex Ferguson’s face after a match at Old Trafford has finally been revealed.
In what has since come to be known as ‘Pizzagate’ or ‘The Battle of the Buffet’, Manchester United beat the Gunners 2-0 in a suitably tempestuous encounter on 24th October, 2004, thus bringing the away side’s 49-game unbeaten run to an abrupt halt.
Roughly one year on from the infamous ‘Battle of Old Trafford‘, the match was as spiky as you might expect. The scuffling spilled over into the tunnel, with both sets of players yapping away at each other until the pandemonium was split wide by an airborne slice of quattro formaggio.
While Fabregas was heavily implicated in the aftermath, nobody has ever fully accused the midfielder, still a teenager at the time, of assaulting his opposing manager with a foodstuff.
Sir Alex himself has gone on record as saying he had no idea who the culprit while Martin Keown has perhaps come the closest to implicating Fabregas – previously admitting, back in 2014, that he witnessed an unnamed “Spanish fella” demonstrate “incredible technique” by hurling the pizza like a frisbee.
And so, over a decade on down the line, the now-Chelsea man has finally broken his silence. He was the one. He was the masked vigilante who hurled an Italian thin-crust into the very face of a Knight of the Realm.
Speaking on an upcoming appearance on Sky One’s A League of Their Own, Fabregas was asked directly whether he was responsible, to which he replied:
Yes, but Martin Keown is a liar because I saw him in front of me just, like, punching people so he didn’t see anything.
All of a sudden, I heard noises (in the tunnel) and I thought what’s happening? So I go out with my slice of pizza and I saw Sol Campbell, Rio Ferdinand, Martin Keown… everyone pushing each other.
I was like I want to get involved but I don’t know how to and I threw… peeew… just threw it. Once I saw who it was hitting… well, I didn’t mean it.
I apologise Sir Alex, I really didn’t mean to do that!
When asked exactly where his pizza projectile struck Ferguson, Fabregas ruefully tapped the side of his own face.
Well, well, well. So there you have it: The Pizzagate conspiracy laid bare.
It’s always the ones you least expect, isn’t it?