Being the largely moderate folk we are, Pies are not exactly hardliners when it comes to the contentious issue of half-and-half scarves in football.
We do see that, in mitigating circumstances, they can serve as relatively inexpensive mementos of certain notable matches, perhaps a Community Shield tie or a Simod Cup semi-final.
However, even we, with our most liberal of hats on, can’t explain the following abomination that was spotted on sale outside the King Power Stadium before Leicester City’s 2-2 draw with Manchester United last night…
Anybody for a Vardy-Lukaku ‘Merry Christmas’ scarf? pic.twitter.com/3LRgslNVLg
— Simon Peach (@SimonPeach) December 23, 2017
“Vardy-Lukaku, Merry Christmas” is such a niche sentiment that we can’t even begin to get our heads around it.
Are we to deduce that it’s specifically wishing Jamie Vardy and Romelu Lukaku a joyous noel? Or is ‘Vardy Lukaku’ how you say ‘Merry Christmas’ in Klingon or something?
We only ask that you don’t spend too long trying to fathom it, lest you actually succumb to madness.