Jesse Lingard has a new fashion line and, should you be into bog standard plain items of clothing with Jesse Lingard’s name on them, then you’re in luck.
The Manchester United mogul has assembled his own online store, full of plain black and white items bearing his utterly mundane brand motto – “Be Yourself” – on the front/back, or the silly nickname he gave himself, or the silly finger gesture he does from time to time, all at massively inflated prices.
Fifty quid for the hoodie, thirty quid for the shirt, 25 for the hat.
So many questions. Who on earth would want this? Are there Jesse Lingard fans out there? Why? Who hankers after fashion as curated by a serviceable Manchester United squad player?
The pre-Premier League equivalent would be Clayton Blackmore trying to sell you bomber jackets with his name on the label.
Pies’ Christmas Football Gift Guide 2018
No.1: Benfica Tinned Sardines
No.2: Fulham Grass Seed
No.3: Feyenoord Fire Extinguisher
No.4: Eintracht Frankfurt Gin
No.5: Leeds Bielsa Bucket
No.6: Juventus Snowboard
No.7: Galatasaray Reclining Chair
No.8: PAOK Rocks
No.9: Young Boys Snuff