With a combined cost of around Â£250m, even Romanâ€™s roubles would be stretched to afford this team consisting of the most expensive players (in their position) in the Premier League.
Money might not be able to buy you love but, with the possible exception of an Argentinean Ali-G look-alike and a non-scoring Ukrainian, it can certainly buy you a dream team full of superstars.
But who has been value for money and whoâ€™s left you feeling shortchanged?
Goalkeeper: Craig Brown Â£9m
Sunderlandâ€™s Scotsman has just broken the British transfer record for a goalkeeper, despite being young and without any Premier League experience
Right back: Daniel Alves Â£21m?
Alright, heâ€™s not here yet but the multi-talented Brazilian can play in a variety of positions so Chelsea could be getting two for the price of one
Left back: Gareth Bale Â£10m
The price you pay for potential nowadays but will the Welsh prodigy get more games than his Southampton room mate, Theo Walcott?
Centre back: Rio Ferdinand Â£29.1m
The worldâ€™s most expensive defender still seems prone to the odd lapse of concentration, during and after games
Centre back: Ricardo Carvalho Â£19.5m
Looked like another Chelsea folly at the time but has become one of the leagueâ€™s most cultured defendersâ€¦and sorted out his Marx brother hair
Midfield: Juan Sebastian Veron Â£28.1m
Wasnâ€™t any good at Man Utd and was even worse at Chelsea â€“ El Floppo
Midfield: Michael Essien Â£26m
Chelseaâ€™s driving force is starting to look a snip â€“ possibly Mourinhoâ€™s best signing?
Midfield: Shaun Wright Phillips Â£21m
Heâ€™s getting more games this season but if you wanted the bench warm then heated seats are far more affordable
Forward: Fernando Torres Â£26.5m
Rafaâ€™s big buy, but will any of Liverpoolâ€™s strikers score 20 goals a season if they keep being rotated?
Forward: Wayne Rooney Â£27m
Surely a legend in the making but the metatarsal medical bills are adding up
Forward: Andriy Shevchenko Â£31m
Taxi to Milan?