Wayne Rooney vs Alex Ferguson Caption Competition – Win FIFA 11 Video Game!

Ollie Irish

20th, October 2010


By Ollie Irish

Got a witty caption for this photo? Let’s be having you…

The best caption, as judged by us, WINS a copy of EA’s most excellent new FIFA 11 video game, for the console of your choice. Not bad, eh.

Terms & conditions: The closing date is midnight on Sunday 24th October 2010. Only one caption per reader. The competition is open to readers in any country where FIFA 11 is available.

Posted in Competitions, Featured, Man Utd

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  1. ph0bolus says:

    “You’d better not leave…I MADE you boy!”

  2. Neal Carter says:

    Yer Cannae leave me Wayne. Think o the kids.

  3. lasagnechef says:

    No Wayne, I’m not letting go NO! If you’re going anywhere you’ve got to drag me with you.

  4. Adje says:

    I warned you to keep your sausage fingers off my wife!

  5. Richard says:

    Wayne, stop calling my wife, she’s not interested!

  6. salmon says:

    Please Wayne I’m begging you! I’ll give you anything you want. Anything! You like Grannys? I know lots! Wine? Chewing Gum?? JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WAYNE PLEASE!

  7. Ben C says:

    Rooney: im sorry boss there is nothing that will make me stay

    Ferguson: wait wait…200,000 a week, a garunteed place at Man United for Kai, a coaching role here when you retire, garry neville will be your maid for the rest of the season and you can sleep with my mother…twice.

    Rooney: Your mother aye?…

    *Rooney calls Mancini*

    Mancini: Hello Wayne. looking forward to you arriving in January, your going to fit in really well…

    Rooney: erm, somthings come up

  8. Alfie says:

    Ben C’s got my vote

  9. M C says:

    Ferguson: WAYNE FOR HEAVANS SAKE STOP MAKING A SCENE! I dont want this image to be the butt of some stupid caption competition..

  10. Daryl Booth says:

    Sir Alex:
    “Rooney son, Don`t go to Chelsea, They are all morally bereft. John Terry will be up your missus like Rooney up a prostitute! What, what did I say wrong?, Come back Wayne…”

  11. terCLICK says:

    wayne , gimme one last chance , i beg ya !

  12. Gregling says:

    Fergie: You want to know why I let Tevez go? I saw him looking at you in the shower. Do you really want to go back to that son?

  13. Tommusso says:

    SAF: Listen, you little shit. You just remember when you’re over there pissing in blue, that we bleed red over here boy. You remember that!
    Rooney: …Ok?
    SAF: These people won’t forgive you, Wayne! I won’t forgive you! I’m shocked, boy…
    Rooney: …
    SAF: Remember when I bought you here from Everton, I said you could be whatever you wanted to be…I DIDN’T MEAN A PRIZED CUNT, WAYNE

  14. busker rhymes says:

    ferg: if you cant win everything single handed without burning out, then give me that shirt!
    wazz: you’re… hurting… me… besides like, madrid will pay me 200 grans a week
    ferg: you dont have the complexion, freckles *chews gum*

    as a side note: just realised how shifty roon looks on the fifa box…

  15. busker rhymes says:

    wayne had come to resent the contract clause that stipulated helping sir alex cross the road

  16. Yvan says:

    SAF : Boy, you can go. But I’ve already warned the Baby Killer
    Wayne : What? You mean, Chicharito?
    SAF : Whatever his name is, son. You leave United, and Baby Killer will take care of Kai, boy.

  17. busker rhymes says:

    ‘im not your little teapot anymore six alex!’

  18. Gibby says:

    Awec : When i said i wanted deep penitration at the back i didnae mean shaggin prozzies Son !

  19. busker rhymes says:

    ‘if you had any hair wayne, id give you the hairdryer. if there was a boot around youd take it right in the face. as things stand, im going to keep this arm and let that be a lesson to you’

  20. tottenblog says:

    FERG: Wayne, before you go on, put this black armband on.
    ROONEY: Why boss? Who’s died?
    FER: Your career son, your career.

  21. busker rhymes says:

    ‘im just a football manager, standing in front of a player, asking him to love him!’

  22. TRUEdoo says:

    tottenblog is probably my fave

  23. busker rhymes says:


    …fergie time

  24. busker rhymes says:

    ‘feel that? see this isnt just a bad dream, you really arent scoring!’

  25. busker rhymes says:

    ankle injury wayne, just like we rehearsed…

  26. fitzy says:

    saf…listen boy if you leave now you will end up like that fat twat gazza,last chance or i’ll get scholes to break both your legs when you play against us

  27. Anonymous says:

    “If you ever cross me I’ll send you to City.”

  28. busker rhymes says:

    Sir Alex setting Wayne to ‘stun’ in February this year

  29. Leppystew says:

    With all the stress in his job at the minute, fergie discretely asks roony for a few numbers for his ladys of the night

  30. Raybuck Luck says:

    You can leave son, but let me tell ya, that hair aint going with ya.

  31. Adam t says:

    sir Alex: “dunny go son, i was like a father to you, achh noooo!!”

    Wayne: “it has to be done boss, there offering me more money, and another role in the new film ‘shrek the greedy ogar’, it’s too hard to not accept… And I will be reunited with my long lost friend.. DONKEY!!” (tevez) shrek and donkey on a money grabbing adventure!!

    Sir Alex: :-(

  32. busker rhymes says:

    remember the caravan wayne, it could happen sooner than you think…

  33. PhilandoTorres says:

    “If you ever cross me I’ll ship you off to City.”

  34. busker rhymes says:

    you’ll play and you’ll score- or so help me i will unzip this costume, ogre!

  35. DDX says:

    If you stay I promise next time I’ll swallow…

  36. J-Bizz says:

    I’ll start talking to the BBC if you want, just stay

  37. J-Bizz says:

    “Uh? What’s blue and fucks grannies? Oh. You in your new shirt. Get lost”

  38. Abhishek says:

    You can have your threesome AFTER the match

  39. Paul says:

    SA: Wayne please don’t leave, i need you to stay, please stay i won’t let go until you say you will stay!

    WR: Boss let go your hurting me please boss i have to go, Dont look at me like that gaffer please let me go!

  40. matt m. says:

    SAF “Come on Wayne 26 goals again this season and I promise we will win the league!” Wayne “No No No I’m not falling for that again.”

  41. busker rhymes says:

    fans are stil reeling at revelations that wayne rooney is coin operated- shown here, alex ferguson inserting the last of the glazers shrapnel into the strikers arm mounted slot in february 2010

  42. busker rhymes says:

    ‘You have been well trained, my young apprentice. They will be no match for you’
    ‘at last we shall reveal ourselves to the jedi. at last we will have revenge’

    anybody else getting a sith vibe from this picture?

  43. busker rhymes says:

    ‘if you leave me now… you’ll take away the biggest part of me…
    roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-naaaaay please dont go…
    rooooo’ *breaks down sobbing*

  44. busker rhymes says:

    ah. and i just read the bit that says one comment per reader :( apologies ollie… i guess just pick one if thats cool?

  45. Nourez Rawji says:

    We’re no strangers to love
    You know the rules and so do I
    A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of
    You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
    I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
    Gotta make you understand

    Never gonna give you up,
    Never gonna let you down,
    Never gonna run around and desert you,
    Never gonna make you cry,
    Never gonna say goodbye,
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

  46. Paul Kirkland says:

    Wanye Rooney:

  47. Zedie says:

    Fergie quietly whispers: “Take me with you.”

  48. Sgoooo says:

    i just can’t quit you

  49. cook says:

    SAF: I love you
    ROON: WHAT!?
    SAF: Uh… I said olive juice…
    ROON: Olive Juice?
    SAF: Olive juice you too.

    honestly, I was just rambling. tottenblog has my vote.

  50. Smartass says:

    Fergie:”Come back on the bench, you are INJURED.”
    Wayne: “Are you kidding me ?”

  51. Douglas Cushnie says:

    Fergie: Waynesicles… I… I’m at a loss for words…your…your forearms…they’re so strong….

    Rooney: Well, boss, there’s a reason everyone calls me a wanker.

  52. qwerty says:

    SAF: *&%^# @#Q&#$^ bla bla bla…..*
    Chewing gums : Help us wayne, help us!
    Wayne: ( thinks to himself) was that coming from his mouth? OMFG, look at that ball of gum in his mouth, all moudly and green. WTF is that ear wax on it? Huh, thats strangely arousing.I think i finally found something better than old vulnerable grannies! *proceeds to stare*
    SAF: (grabs arm) Wayne, are you listening Wayne!?

  53. bing says:

    SAF: i never told you this before wayne but, I AM YOUR FATHER

  54. yb says:

    SAF: tell me wayne, what is 1+1
    Rooney: What? Nobody told me there was a test! I didn’t study! Is the answer 11?

  55. jack says:

    Fergie: Wayne, before you leave, please hook me up with a threesome, I haven’t had a decent shag since winning the champions league.

    Wayne: Don’t worry gaffer, i’ve planned ahead, the redness gives it away. I have an old contact in mind….

  56. Spoon says:

    where’d you think you’re going, back on the bench boy…

  57. phil says:

    No no no little Wayne, Daddy won’t let you go until you say sorry.

  58. Pabs says:

    SAF: Rooney
    Rooney: *Begins to warm up
    SAF: Get me a bottle of water

  59. Eric says:

    “We HAVE to play Fifa when we get back.”

  60. Rich says:

    suddenly, i’m not half the man i usssssssssed to beeeee

  61. Pitch Invader says:

    Fergie: Would it be a bad time to say I had sex with Coleen? Also, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER.

  62. Ben says:

    suddenly, wayne realised what the 25% sell on clause to Everton really meant

  63. Neil Dimmick says:

    Sir Alex – “Whaddaya mean yer thought I was a woman when you signed for United, laddie?”
    Wayne – “…..”
    Sir Alex – “So yer wanna leave now yer know the truth?”
    Wayne – “…..”

  64. SF says:

    In an effort to improve his public image Wayne Rooney helps an old woman cross the street.

  65. Anonymous says:

    SAF – Listen,Listen Wayne maboy…..you’ve gotta crap yourself out….i dunno how, get a hooker or something, bash me in public whatever.
    ther’ll be a public hullabaloo…..ill sell you off…you can make all the noise you want with our noisy neighbours….coz we need the cash maboy….we really really need the cash….The Glazers have ensured that pin sticks to my royal behind……

  66. Moiz Limbdiwala says:

    SAF – listen, listen wayne maboy….you gotta crap yourself out…..i dunno how, get a hooker, bash me in public, whatever. i’ll sell you after a public hullabaloo and you can make all the noise you want with our noisy neighbours…..your club needs you now son…we need the cash real bad maboy….ive got a pin from the glazers on my royal behid remindin’ me every second!

  67. Manchester United Fan 33 says:

    Do me a favor Wayne and dry-clean those pants when you’re done

  68. jojo says:

    “wait, wait, everyone will see that you have a solid snake between your legs”

  69. johann says:

    SAF: You better run your arse off.
    Rooney: stop breaking my balls
    SAF: I bet you’ll like that.

  70. Eric says:

    “Remember this is all part of our master plan, Wayne. You’re going to Chelsea to learn all of Carlo’s Italian secrets. Then you’ll organise a mutiny by convincing everyone Carlo took Coleen to bed. Then you’ll go to Madrid, frame Ronaldo so it looked like he killed Jose Mourinho. Take Jose’s soul so I can live forever! Do you understand, Wayne?”

    “I just want to win trophies.”

    “You just want to win trophies? Is that all Manchester United means to you? Is that all I mean to you?”

    “No Fergie, sorry.. Sir Fergie, trophy was a euphemism. The truth is that I’m doing this for your mother. Coleen will never be half the woman she was.”

    “What did you say?”

    “Oh, quieres escuchar en Espanol? Yo comprendo… SU MADRA ERA UN TROFEO! Ahora, voy a España!”

    “You little chav…. I’m going to create a 6-foot-5 26-year-old version of me mixed with Papa Bouba Diop in FIFA 11 and go Eric Cantona on you until Paul Scholes retires, which is never because he sold his soul to me!. Also, how long did it take for Ronaldo to teach you that? I’m actually impressed.”

  71. SeanBCFC says:

    SAF: i thought man u meant something to you you lied and said you would retire here!
    WR: Ya, I did but you lied and said I messed me ankle up!

  72. Trololololo says:

    Rooney: “We haven’t won anything in a while and it doesn’t look like changing. I’m a top striker in my prime and I want to go to Real for a better chance of success”.

    SAF: “Come with me. See that little guy sitting on the edge of the bench? His name’s Michael and you might want to ask him how such a scenario would pan out…”

  73. Patrick says:

    ‘Leave it Wayne, he ain’t worth it!’

    And Eric, your Spanish isn’t great

  74. yank says:

    “Gaffer, when am I going to start losin me locks?”

  75. Eric says:

    Haha Patrick I know it’s really not. Should’ve been oírlo instead of escuchar.

  76. Stovetop Miller says:

    Come and sit on my lap little boy…

  77. simon says:

    Ferg Vader : Roon, i AM your father.
    Rooney: NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo.

  78. yeeeeeeeah says:

    SAF:you ever noticed we look alike?
    Rooney:Whatever, I’m off to city.

  79. The Belgian says:

    Good luck sucking up to me when you’re stuck in the wrong kind of Manchester.

  80. Justin says:

    Fergie: WAIT!… Take me with you! All we can afford now is bums I mean literally. And then there Neville. You’ve been in the locker room with the guy. No… no more, not another season!

    Rooney: But Madrids got a manager. Remember… that “special guy.”

  81. Jonas says:

    SAF:When I said stay out of the red tops, I didn’t mean literally!

  82. Matt Edmond says:

    Wait Roo! Let me kiss those lips again…

  83. Jonathan says:

    “Wayne don’t go out tonight. Come over to my place and I’ll have the missus make you supper.”

  84. James says:

    “Meet me in the sheds at half time, ive got a a boot to kick at you Wayne”

  85. AA says:

    Stop! you’ve nicked Ando’s shorts you scouse b******d

  86. Jeremey says:

    Baby please don’t go, you know I love you so.

  87. chet says:


  88. Tinez says:

    SAF: Wayne…

    Rooney: Yes, Gaffa?

    SAF: Gary Neville’s just shit in my car

  89. ryan says:

    saf-“im sorry! what did i do? i know i can change!”
    r-“its not you, its me.”

  90. Brandt says:

    I didn’t do this to you. You did this to you.

  91. gerson says:

    “olvídame y pega la vuelta”…”rooney: no me hagas esa cara sir” …”rooney: suéltame el brazo;no me digas mas…
    “sir:ahora soy yo el que quiere estar sin ti. Por eso vete, olvida mi nombre, mi equipo, mi estadio,Y pega la vuelta…
    “rooney: Jamás te pude comprender…
    “sir: Vete, olvida mis logros, mis champions, mis ligas,
    Que no te desean…
    “rooney:Estás mintiendo ya lo sé…
    “sir:Vete, olvida este equipo, que logros tuviste,
    Y no te entristezcas, olvida de todo que tú para eso
    Tienes experiencia…

  92. Dylan F says:

    SAF:Wayne! Don’t leave yet!

    Wayne: Yah, why’s that boss?

    SAF:Don’t you remember? Thursday night bingo with Scholesy and Giggsy!

  93. Rob Falconer says:

    Look at the shirt, Alex … AIG stands for “And I’m Going”

  94. WaiZack says:

    Fergie : *Hiss*

    Rooney : “Roo..Rooney?”

    Fergie : “Damn, this trick worked wonders on The Dog Whisperer!”

    Rooney : “RooRooRooneeeyyyy!”

    Fergie : “Screw that, now where’s my pokeball?”

  95. Jeet says:

    “If U dare to move to Man City, my wrath will burn you into ashes”.

  96. Breno says:

    WAYNE, Im pregnant, and its yours!

  97. Radman says:

    Fine Wayne, leave. Torres, Benzema – there’s plenty of other out-of-form strikers who’d kill to be not scoring in your place.

  98. Ryan Murrant says:

    Alex “you said that was the right number you tw*t. I got some dumb scouser with a huge nose wanting me”

    Rooney “i said it was under J for Jennifer Thompson, not P”

  99. Adam Hand says:

    “But Wayne I have a much better looking cow over here.”

  100. the ball is round says:


  101. pmilb says:

    SAF: “I swear to God, if you leave for City I’ll make you my Auld Slapper for the night.”

  102. Aimee Swift says:

    Wayne, I’ve got my grannie out back if that will help you change your mind about staying…

  103. James H says:

    I’ll give you 200 grans a week if you stay!

  104. Usama Zafar says:

    SAF: I swear to God if you leave i’m going to tell Coleen about that night. You know what i’m talking about son.

  105. lipmak says:

    “Don’t look at the cows, son.”

  106. Tom says:

    “Remember Wayne, the black armband stays where it is, OK?”

  107. CK says:

    I’m sorry Wayne, the Nani/Nanny gag was a step too far – I promise I’ll never tell it again if you just don’t go to City

  108. MaryElla says:

    Wayne Rooney. Bloody hell!

  109. Sam says:

    You can go Roo, but the shirt stays!!

  110. andy lawn says:

    when i said “stretford end” i meant leave your agent, not the bloody club!

  111. sasha says:

    here’s your new prosthetic arm

  112. Dean says:

    “Those ears, son!! For God’s sake, get then sorted out!”

  113. Jules says:

    “Can you help me cross the road please?”

  114. mikelikebikesox says:

    AF: Right, an offer you can’t refuse Wayne…250 grans a week!

  115. The Mo says:

    SAF : In January you would of cost an arm and a leg to purchase. This January it would just be an arm!

  116. MoZilla says:

    Fergie – Home is where the heart is and I can feel the heart on your sleeve pulsating.

  117. Claypole says:

    SAF: Ok, ok, ya greedy little ingrate; ninety grand a week after tax, and you can put the next hookers on my card.

  118. DGEEE says:

    Ferguson: Wayne, I swear to god if you leave us and I will rip this arm off, then it will never feel like being with a stranger again!

  119. David says:

    Ferguson: C’mon Roo stay here, i’ve got grey hair, tits down to my knees and i’ll only charge £50 for the night.
    Rooney: Been there done that.
    Ferguson: I’ll even wear that kilt you like??
    Rooney: Hmmmmmm…

  120. David says:

    Ferguson: C’mon Roo stay here, i’ve got grey hair, tits down to my knees and i’ll only charge £50 for the night.
    Rooney: Been there done that.
    Ferguson: I’ll even wear that kilt you like??
    Rooney: Hmmmmmm…

  121. red sox bob says:

    alex: okay, you win. you can go to city if thats what you really want
    wayne: really boss?
    rio (removing mask): you’ve just been merked mate, you’ll never leave!

  122. Rodrigo says:

    Fergie: “Hey, Roon, wait. Can you see if there’s something in my teeth, mate? nhhiiiii *grinning*”

  123. Chris Tobin says:

    Roo: £230k a week?
    Fergie: That enough?
    Roo: Yeah, that’s enough to pay off Coleen, I’ll stay. Can’t stand the sun in Spain and Teves always scared me anyway.

  124. Thomas says:

    You’re subb’d Wayne, I got 2 ladies waitin’ and I need a wing-man!

  125. edhehe says:

    please please please wayne give me the number of that prostitute
    i beg you!! and that wrinkly one you had 2!!

  126. Nigel Hammersley says:

    You Blinked! You lost.!

  127. Piroman says:

    Fergie: Wayne, you must stay
    Wayne: Why?
    Fergie: I am your father !

  128. Dave says:

    “Look cunthooks, you don’t want me to send thee boys around to ye huse in the middle of the neete, do ye?”

  129. Patrick says:

    Wayne: “Oh, by the way, I’m leaving Man United”
    Fergie: “Nahh thats absolute bollocks”
    Sky Sports reporter from a couple years back: “You have to mind your language, there are children watching”

  130. Yahhhsteve says:

    god damn these are awful…

  131. Paddy says:

    Rooney: ‘Look Gaffer, the day I agree to sign a new contract is the day you agree to finger me up the arse’

  132. Samhumphreys says:

    ‘But Fergie.. they’re offering me 230 grans a week, that’s something i can’t refuse’

  133. Malc says:

    OK we’ll add that into your contract as well, No more Shrek comments !!

  134. MR. T says:


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