Israel v England, the real player ratings


26th, March 2007

Paul Robinson
Robbo (pictured, left) failed miserably to score the goals for which he was brought into the side. And he wore gloves when it wasn’t even cold. 1/10
Phil Neville
His lopsided face only served to upset the balance in the team. Surely Gary/Phil’s sister Tracey would be a better bet? One point for at least trying to sing the National Anthem (unlike comrade Gary, who never does). 1/10
Rio Ferdinand
Tried gamely to merk Israel’s defence with pinpoint passes. Failed gamely too. Solid at the back, in the face of Israel’s relentless ‘stay in our own half’ attack. 2.5/10
John Terry
Our Captain Marvel didn’t put a foot wrong, or right for that matter. Time to ditch the Foxton’s-estate agent haircut though. 1/10
Jamie Carragher
The Best Centre-Half in the World (Scouse trademark) was unfairly played out of position, so he gets a full 10/10

Owen Hargreaves Looks like one of Jossy’s Giants but plays like a young Carlton Palmer. A truly world-class water carrier. 2/10
Steven Gerrard
Wore his heart on his sleeve – messy. No player misplaces passes with such enthusiasm and verve. 9/10
Frank Lampard
Stevie Mac needs to build his team around the World’s Second Best Player. That way, we’ll get rid of the manager in no time. -2/10
Aaron Lennon
This tiny man confuses the opposition and his team-mates in equal measure. Fast feet, not-so-fast brain. Shows promise though. 6/10
Wayne Rooney Exposed as the Sergei Rebrov to Cristiano Ronaldo’s Andrei Shevchenko. 3/10
Andy Johnson ‘Worked the channels tirelessly’, when he should have been ‘scoring goals tirelessly’. 2/10

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