By Chris Wright
Just look at those fertile loins
Preening, grease-swathed man-toddler Cristiano Ronaldo has announced, via his Facebook page, that he has sired a son and heir.
The Portuguese forward’s statement reads;
“It is with great joy and emotion that I inform I have recently become father to a baby boy. As agreed with the baby’s mother, who prefers to have her identity kept confidential, my son will be under my exclusive guardianship.
No further information will be provided on this subject and I request everyone to fully respect my right to privacy (and that of the child) at least on issues as personal as these are.”
The mother is believed to be an American ‘socialite’ of some description, that Ronaldo be-seeded whilst visiting the States last summer.
With his hectic schedule and rigorous grooming regime, presumably Cristiano will need to hire a Nani to help raise the boy…