Paul The Psychic Octopus To Retire

Chris Wright

12th, July 2010


By Chris Wright

It’s proving to be a sad, sad day in the footballing world, as the news slowly filters through that Paul The Psychic Octupus is to hang up his tentacles and retire from the world of professional ‘tipster’ing.

The mystic mollusk has successfully predicted the outcome of the eight World Cup games on which he has been consulted (all seven of Germany’s ties, plus last night’s final) and is calling it a day with his 100% record intact.

Tanja Munzig, a spokeswoman for the Oberhausen Sea Life centre in which the Kraken Orakel resides, issued the following statement this morning;

“He is retiring and says thank you to the whole world. It was a great World Cup. He will what he likes to do best, play with his handlers and delight children who come visit to him.”

God bless you Paul, you fiendish old thing.