10 Crap Goal Celebrations


19th, September 2006


10 Luis Garcia’s thumb-suck
Liverpool’s Spaniard does it in honour of his baby son but that’s no excuse. The mimsiest goal celebration in the world.

9 Bebeto’s baby arms
Yes, you’re not firing blanks, you can have kids. Well done. Now stop it with the arms already.

8 Raul’s ring kiss
It is the very height of naffness to kiss your ring after you’ve scored.

7 Thierry Henry’s Mr T
He’s got a few annoying ones, like when he just pouts. Worst is when he makes a T with his fingers (1min 26sec into this clip) – now that’s cocky. He’s good enough to get away with it… just.

6 Peter Crouch’s robot
Thank God he’s stopped.

5 Tim Cahill’s flag boxing
Is this sincere or is Cahill taking the piss? Adriaaaaaaaaaan!!!

4 Fabio Grosso’s Tardelli rip-off
At least do something original Fabio.

3 Shefki Kuqi’s body slam
One word – why?

2 Robbie Keane’s forward roll
Almost endearing but in the end just embarrassingly bad.

1 Alan Shearer’s raised arm
Alan is a born entertainer.

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  1. OmegaSupremho says:

    I heartily disagree. Raul’s ring kiss, Cahills boxing, Keane’s roll and Shearers raised arm are iconic in my opinion and the Robot and Kuqi’s slam were LOL funny imo.

  2. Brian says:

    Robocrouch is one of the best ever. Very original.

  3. joe says:

    I always liked Shearer’s raised arm cuz it was just simple and I agree it did become a bit iconic. Your spot on about Thierry Henry and all the stupid little faces he makes after he scores especially when he pouts his massive fish lips and makes his big, mean face, I really want to take a swing at my TV.

  4. Brandon says:

    What about Harry Kewell’s thing where he claps his arms together, joining his wonky hand tattoos? I think he did it after scoring against Everton last year.

  5. Soccermad says:

    I’ve gotta say Robbie Keane’s is the absolute worst, with Cahill’s a close second. Keane’s cartwheel and six shooters are something we all thought was cool when we were probably about four years old. And Cahill’s? Just plain stupid because I’m pretty sure the corner flag could take him in a real fight.

  6. Jezza says:

    Call these crap? I give you:
    1) Way before Shefti Kuqi or even Jurgen Klinsmann, there was the Pierre van Hooijdonk belly flop.
    2) From way back when: The Emlyn Hughes DOUBLE raised arm. Shearer who?
    3) And my personal favourite, from Everton and Scotland legend Stuart McCall.

  7. Emma says:

    I love all of them because they suck! :)

  8. monco says:

    Emlyn Hughes FTW, lol :)

  9. Alessandro says:

    Henry’s T actually is because of his daughter Tea. It was the first match she was there to see him. – I just hope if he ever has another child he has the decency not to name it Coffee