By Chris Wright
“Another wee dram Colonel?”
You’ll be glad to know that Paul Gascoigne is not dead…yet, and that he’s also been reminiscing with Piers Morgan (for the ruddy-faced bounder’s tear-milking Life Stories television show) about the time he visited Libya, snooted enough fluff to down a Stegosaurus and then took the fruits of Colonel Gaddafi’s loins out on the lash around gay Tripoli:
“I went to Libya when I played for Middlesbrough and took Gaddafi’s two sons out and got them absolutely lamped. I also signed this thing in his compound. I think it was a bomb!
“At my worst I had 16 lines of coke a day. I was on four bottles