By Chris Wright
“Ba! Huh! What did he sign for? Absolutely nuthin’! Sing it again y’all!”
16 goals in his last 16 Premier League appearances, 15 league goals in total this season (over half of Newcastle’s cumulative haul), something like 24 in 28 since his move to England. Demba Ba is a man on fire. His secret? A ten-year long syrup addiction. The man loves syrup..
If he’s talking about this…
…then I can totally get on board. Thanks to family holidays in France past, I can confirm that the stuff is indeed akin to the Ambrosia of Mount Olympus mixed with hummingbird tears mixed with diabetes-inducing levels of sweet, sweet synthetic loveliness.
That said, I can only imagine what state ten solid years of daily consumption would do to the walls of a man’s stomach. I’m no gastro-doctor, but I’m guessing it ain’t pretty.