Papiss Cisse Gets £6 Haircut In Newcastle Barbers, 200 Geordies Swarm To Watch (Video)

Chris Wright

20th, April 2012

21 Comments

By Chris Wright

Serial charm-offender Papiss Cisse went for a £6 haircut at a barbers on Sunderland Road in Gateshead on Tuesday afternoon and soon found himself being swarmed by a throng of 200 (it says here) Geordies.

The owner of The Barber Shop in Gateshead, Iyad Attallah, described the scenes:

‘There were five people waiting for a haircut when he came in and sat down. He waited in the queue like everybody else and even let a 14-year-old boy go before him.

“Ten minutes after he arrived, there were 200 people outside the shop. It was crazy. I asked if he wanted me to close the  shutters but he said ‘No, I am real, I am happy like this.'”

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew even touched on the issue in his mid-week press conference, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he said:

“That sounds like the Northeast – I’ve never had that myself,  I maybe get one or two fans when I get my hair cut, but Papiss has grown into a bit of a cult figure here, with what he’s done and the way he’s conducted himself.

“He’s a lovely guy. The Northeast is a friendly place and they’ve welcomed him with open arms SO WHY WON’T THEY LOVE ME?!!??

At which point Pards burst into tears and fled from the room. He was later found huddled on the floor in a cubicle in the gents, sobbing uncontrollably and refusing to unclasp his arms from around the bottom of the toilet.*

Apparently one of the Newcastle fans even swiped a lock of Cisse’s hair from the floor of the barbers as a memento though, considering his hair was shaved even before Mr Attallah got to work, we’re not entirely sure you could grab anything close to ‘a lock.’

What you’ve probably actually snaffled there my friend, is a few wisps of hair from the head of Tony; the Geordie lorry driver with a flaky scalp who came in for a ‘short back and sides’ earlier that morning.

But that’s just us being pernickity.

(*yet to be verified)

Video: Metro

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21 Comments

  1. Andrew Thompson says:

    Jesus! Them little kids are annoying.

  2. gamblino says:

    Truants!

  3. Steve K says:

    There’s a fine line between “passionate club supporters” and being losers with nothing else in their lives.

    In Newcastle, there are far too many of the latter, as proved by this video. Also proved by the masses who turned up to celebrate “The Messiah”‘s return, and the masses who greeted certain-to-be-a-club-legend Michael Owen.

  4. Jack Maher says:

    Nice to see he got a complimentary lolly with his £6 haircut

  5. Professor Erno Breastpinchd says:

    Was the barbers next to the job centre or something? Pap’s obviously chuffed to bits with that cut, sticking a baseball cap on at the earliest opportunity

  6. Hey ma, get off tha dang roof! says:

    Ha poor guy can’t speak English and he’s thrust into the middle of 200 fans asking favours of him.

  7. C says:

    Wow, the Geordie genepool really is highly contaminated…

  8. Redskywalker says:

    Dammit, thats a couple pounds less than my last haircut!

    …I am not a real person…

    P.S I’d love to verify that for you

  9. Luke says:

    Steve K, don’t be such an enormous prat. You’re making assumptions about people you don’t know anything about, you arrogant fuckwit.

    And the examples you give regarding Shearer and Owen just show how unconditional the support and affection Geordie fans give is – it’s no doubt calming and refreshing for players to have such passion shown by the fans.

  10. Mr. Sparkle says:

    In my next lifetime I think I’d like to be born a Geordie…

    Papiss Cisse is turning out to be quite the character.

  11. Davy says:

    @ Steve K…This was in Gateshead not Newcastle you prick!!! Newcastle is cool but you would’nt know as i doubt you have ever been and if you have you probably went to the Bigg Market which is a shithole and most people from Newcastle know that….Its people coming for stag and hen nights that go there!!

  12. zack says:

    fucking hell, gateshead is fucking next door. the hair dressers was probably not much further away from central station as st james is. Doesnt change the fact that as Steve said, they need to get a life. chasing a french man who cant talk to them. Really? and Big Market is not the only shithole in Newcastle.

  13. Davy says:

    Fuck off Zack…You are a clueless cunt

  14. Davy says:

    and its Bigg Market

  15. Davy says:

    And anyway i agree that these look like a bunch of plebs but is that any reason to say all of Newcastle is like this? I think not and that is the point I am making!!!

  16. zack says:

    definately agree that all of newcastle arent plebs. far from it.This could be any team in the UK. If this was sunderland they would say exactly the same thing about the fans. If my being clueless is down to not spelling the name of a shit hole properly im fine with that.

  17. Davy says:

    ok, lets stop slinging hadbags then!!! have a gudun

  18. Steve K says:

    Yikes, that was a bigger reaction than I was expecting. Please re-read my not-that-unreasonable post.

    1) I’m from London, but lived in Newcastle for 8 years, so I’ve been to Bigg Market and Gateshead a fair few times. I just referred to Newcastle instead of Gateshead to make it easier for non-Geordies to read.

    2) I didn’t say all Geordies are losers with nothing better to do, just that there does seem to be quite a few Newcastle supporters that are. For example, when they signed Owen, hundreds of people turned up at the ground and cheered for hours – on a Wednesday afternoon. Tell me that’s not just a little bit sad.

    3) Luke, going mad for Shearer was understandable, but I was actually referring the other Messiah, Mr Keegan, which I witnessed while I was up there.

  19. Cosa says:

    A re-read of your post confirms Luke’s assertions of you being a prat, Steve K.

    1. Newcastle and Gateshead are on opposite sides of the river and so are not even remotely synonymous. Would you say Tottenham if you wanted to talk about Croydon, simply because more people are aware of Tottenham?

    2. You’ve read and believed the claim of ‘200’ said in the description. The video evidences that this is a simple exaggeration by the owner, who is paid to cut hair and not analyse statistics. Kids, hearing about a major and popular player, on a Wednesday afternoon, with parents who may be looking after them? Well, who would have thought they might flock to see that footballer. What a moronic generalisation.

    3. I don’t know which club you support, but if I had to guess, it would be Manchester United. Your smug southern attitude towards a place about which you clearly weren’t able to get an accurate understanding is laughable and contemptuous. Keegan was a club legend, and we have a 50,000 strong supporters base, is it any wonder that a small percentage of that turned up to welcome his comeback.

    Finally, no one believes in the messiah complex in the north east. That is a sky sports-propagated, spurious tale of wankshaft.

    Please don’t come on here and generalise like a buffoon about the north east. You are only embarrassing yourself.

    @ Zak

    Your being clueless isn’t centred on a spelling mistake, it’s based around you being completely without a clue.

  20. Luke says:

    Steve, I’ve never quite understood the love of Keegan that well myself however, with regards to the Owen signing being a bit sad, just look at Madrid when they signed Ronaldo!

    80,000 fans packed the Bernabeu to see a player doing nothing other than exist.

    The reason your post got such fierce responses is that it sounded like a generalisation and attack on Newcastle fans on the whole rather than what you said it was.

  21. Geordie H says:

    Brilliant tongue in cheek blog, especially the bit about Alan Pardew not being loved :P … had to laugh … As for the obnoxious pleb comments aimed at the supposed 200 sized crowd .. They were a bunch of mainly kids making a noise for God’s sake! Could have been kids from any part of the country … Get a life !!

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