By Chris Wright
Alan Shearer, seen here remembering that time he bought a pie
No doubt by now most of you will have been subjected to the truly dreadful advert for Barclays which sees Alan Shearer doleing out free Premier League match tickets to fans after sharing the car over with a succession of people he’s possibly met before but maybe not.
Discussing growing up as a Newcastle fan, Shearer describes his first trip to the Gallowgate with tenuous cameos from a bloke who might have driven him there on the Metro, another bloke who might have sold him a pie and a third bloke who might have held him aloft in the terraces. Might have.
As well as being so turgid it can actually yellow your wallpaper through the television screen, it’s also been sussed that the advert has an altogether more sinister edge.
For you see, the good people of the internet have sussed that ever since Shearer’s acting clinic first aired on February 28th, Newcastle haven’t won a single game.
Yep.
In fact, while Newcastle beat Aston Villa on the first day the advert went live, since then…well, ‘nada’ is putting it politely.
Indeed, the Toon have since embarked on a run of eight straight defeats – their worst run of form since 1977 – which has even seen club captain Fabio Coloccini come out and openly grovel for forgiveness from the fans on the club website today.
What do you reckon Pies fans? Is the advert cursed, or might the fact that Newcastle are an absolutely sorry excuse for a shit-show at the moment have something to do with it?