By Chris Wright
As you may be aware, wee Michael Owen metaphorically defecated in the Tyne, giggled as he shoved a bottle of room-temperature Newky Broon up Malcolm Macdonald’s aris and then emptied his bladder all over Geoff from Byker Grove’s face by having the gall to brand the vintage 2005-09 era Newcastle side (think Bramble and Viana through to Luque, Cacapa, Rozenhal, Ramage, Xisco etc, etc…) as being a ‘poor team’ on his Twitter account…
By process of deduction, we assume he means Newcastle anyway.
Unsurprisingly, Owen’s little barb hasn’t been greeted particularly warmly by those of a Geordie persuasion, with current Toon chairman Derek Llambias letting him know exactly how fondly he regards the striker’s tenure at the club in this morning’s Daily Express:
“Michael is the most expensive signing Newcastle has ever made and I’m disappointed with his comments.
“Under Kevin Keegan’s management he was offered a one-year extension at £140,000 a week which he did not take. He was already on £133,000 a week.
“Quite honestly, what did Newcastle United get out of it? His time here cost £40-odd million, about £1.3m per goal.”
Former co-owner Freddy Shepherd (the man that sanctioned the signing of Owen from Real Madrid in the summer of 2005) also waded in with his five-penneth in hand, also telling the Express:
“We might have been a poor team, but we made him a rich man. It works out at around £500,000 for every game in a Newcastle shirt. Poor? Well, he wasn’t poorer for it.
“He spent more time ferrying between Cheshire and Tyneside in his £3.5m helicopter.”
I believe that’s what the youth of today would call a ‘burn’ while snapping their fingers like Arthritis patients and waddling around with their trousers pulled down around their thighs to expose their George at Asda boxer shorts.