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  • Top 10 Worst Goalkeeping Blunders video October 24th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Not our choices, you understand, but there are some pretty good ones in this list…

  • 100 Greatest Premiership Players, 90-81 October 24th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Yesterday we posted part one of our monster 100 Greatest Ever Premiership Players list, namely Nos. 100-91. If you missed it, you can check out the first instalment here: LINK. Today we tackle Nos 90-81 (you can see where this is going, right?). Has Brian Deane made the cut, you ask? Well, you’ll find out […]

  • Happy 21st Birthday to Wayne Rooney October 24th, 2006 Man Utd

    Everyone’s favourite Malcolm Glazer impersonator, Wayne Rooney, turns 21 today. It is easy to forget England and Manchester United‘s hoover-loving talisman is still so young. Quite what you buy the 21-year-old who has everything, I’m not sure (who said an ageing prostitute?). The Times has instead opted to point out 21 reasons why Rooney should […]

  • Classic Moment: Dennis Bergkamp completes his hat-trick in style against Leicester, 1997 October 24th, 2006 Arsenal

    In August 1997, Dennis Bergkamp scored one of the best ever Premier League hat-tricks in a match against Leicester. The third goal was the pick of the bunch and bears more than a passing resemblance to the World Cup wonder goal he would score against Argentina at the end of the season. [Rob Parker]

  • Rumour Tuesday: Chelsea take keeper Stephane Porato on trial October 24th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    France’s Stephane Porato is the latest keeper to be linked with a move to Chelsea [Reuters] There’s a right old Championship scrap under way to secure the services of Sheffield Wednesday’s Kenny Lunt [Vital Football] Celtic have lowered their ambitions in the MLS transfer market and are now after New England Revolution’s Shalrie Joseph rather […]

  • Photo of the day: Jermain Defoe ‘nibbles’ on Javier Mascherone October 23rd, 2006 Tottenham Hotspur

    What a great picture of the moment this is! It is not quite up to Mike Tyson‘s standards, but it is a bite nonetheless. Martin Jol – who is fast overtaking Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho as the most blinkered Premiership manager – saw the incident as a "comical nibble." Under-pressure Alan Pardew has had […]

  • Neil Warnock snaps at last with Dermot Gallagher bearing the brunt October 23rd, 2006 Everton

    About time too! After weeks of: "We’re just happy to be in the Premier League," Neil ‘Sweetness and Light’ Warnock has finally let rip with the sort of post-match comments we had come to know and love from Football League Warnock. The performance of bald referee Dermot Gallagher – the man who deemed Ben Thatcher’s […]

  • 100 Greatest Premiership Players, 100-91 October 23rd, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Today is the first day of the Who Ate All the Pies 100 Greatest Premiership Players mega-list. Just who are the best 100 footballers ever to grace English football’s top flight? Well, you’re about to find out – over the next two weeks we’ll be featuring ten players per day, counting down in reverse order, […]

  • 10 Conclusions from this weekend’s Premiership matches October 23rd, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    1 Arsenal are back to their flowing best. They could be up to third if they win their game in hand despite a poor start.2 Watford need to sign a striker who will put their chances away.3 Manchester City are challenging Middlesbrough to be this season’s Jekyll and Hyde team. 4 Referees see things differently […]

  • Good weekend, bad weekend October 23rd, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Good weekendJussi Jaaskelainen Made a string of excellent stops against Blackburn followed by two penalty saves.Arsenal Henry and Fabregas revived Arsenal’s sexy football of a couple of seasons ago.Paul Scholes A goal on his 500th appearance and a win against Liverpool. Bad weekendWest Ham Bad weekend regulars West Ham drop down to 19th place after […]

  • Moritz Volz gives himself food poisoning October 21st, 2006 Fulham

    We leave Volzy alone for a couple of weeks and he ends up poisoning himself. According to his latest diary (or should that be diarrhea) entry on the lengendary Volzy.com, a homemade pumpkin and prawn soup disagreed with the Fulham full-back on Tuesday night. He said: "I’m never going through a night like I did […]

  • This week’s Premiership predictions October 20th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    SaturdayWigan v Manchester City (12.45pm) Beanie the horse, Stuart Pearce’s lucky mascot, will lose his touch in the weekend’s early kick-off. 2:1Charlton v Watford (3pm) I expect this bottom of the table clash to be tight, but Watford to edge it. 0:1Chelsea v Portsmouth (3pm) Chelsea to work through any Barcelona hangover. 2:0Everton v Sheffield […]

  • Joga Bonita TV: Billy Wingrove and his superstar Nike chums October 20th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Billy Wingrove is one of Britain’s top freestylers (ie. loads of skill but mysteriously not good enough to make it as a pro). Here he is having a tricksy kickabout with some of the best players in the world.

  • Listen to Carlos Tevez’s band Piola Vago October 20th, 2006 West Ham Utd

    Did you know Carlos Tevez is a member of a band called Piola Vago? Apparently the band has a single coming out soon. You can listen to some of Piola Vago’s songs on their MySpace page. I’m not sure it is a sound that would do particularly well in the UK charts, and they are […]

  • Racial stereotypes and senile dementia: An Evening on Five with John Helm October 20th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    Normally Five commentator John Helm is useful for little else apart from sending his viewers to sleep, but last night’s match between Newcastle and Fenerbahce allowed Helm the entertainer to come to the fore. Here are a few, erm, interesting quotes from last night.

  • Knighthood for ‘Sir’ David Beckham? October 20th, 2006 Transfers & Rumours

    David Beckham is set to be knighted in January, according to the Daily Express. The former England skipper could be in line for the honour for services to football and for the role he played in securing the 2012 Olympics for London. Surely a place in the Real Madrid starting line-up would be guaranteed if […]

  • The Fiendish Friday Quiz October 20th, 2006 Games

    My brain hurts (no, it does – I’ve got a bastard of a hangover). 1 Everton, West Ham, Aston Villa, Everton, Portsmouth, Sheffield Utd (current). Which player’s career path?2 Which English stadium makes a cameo appearance in Coldplay’s ‘Fix You’ video?3 Who’s this Premiership midfielder? Aw, ain’t he cute. 4 Norwich City finished third in […]

  • Top 5 quotes of the week October 20th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    1 ‘Everyone’s very comfortable on the ball and almost all of them are athletic. We play what I call "orgy football": the other team know they’re going to get it, but they don’t know from whom or where from.’ Cardiff chairman Sam Hammam (pictured). Lovely image, Sam – you’re a poet 2 ‘He can smell round […]

  • HolloWatch: Ian’s making an arse of himself October 20th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    More pearls of Hollo wisdom can be found in his latest column for BBC Sport. Our favourite this week: ‘I sent someone down to the joke shop to see if they could find a false bum, cut a hole in a pair of club shorts and stuck the plastic one in there. I told the […]

  • Classic Moment: Johann Cruyff’s cheeky one-two penalty for Ajax October 20th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    That Cruyff, always taking the piss. (Bob Pires and Terry Henry tried the same thing once and royally ballsed it up.)

  • Shaun Maloney to warm the bench at Stamford Bridge? October 19th, 2006 Chelsea

    Celtic’s Shaun Maloney is being linked with a move to Chelsea after the Blues’ sporting director Frank Arnesen was spotted at Parkhead for the Champions League win over Benfica. Reports in some Scottish papers suggested Jose Mourinho wants to make a move for the 23-year-old in January when he will be allowed to sign a […]

  • Kit Parade: Fenerbahce October 19th, 2006 Miscellaneous

    The navy and yellow-striped faithful of Fenerbahce are on Tyneside this evening alongside the black and white-striped regulars for a Uefa Cup tie. The Turkish club are currently celebrating their centenary season and this is the shirt designed to commemorate the occasion. You can buy it by clicking here. [Rob Parker]

  • 100 Greatest Premiership Players October 19th, 2006 Top 10s & lists

    Starting next week, Who Ate All the Pies will be revealing its 100 Greatest Ever Premiership Players. From next Monday, we’ll be doing 10 players a day, starting at 100 and working down to the Top 10. It’s the list to end all lists and we hope it’ll generate a lot of heated pub/water cooler […]

  • Reading’s Stephen Hunt and Ibrahima Sonko won’t face FA disciplinary action for their part in the Cech/Cudicini injuries October 19th, 2006 Chelsea

    BREAKING NEWS: The FA has confirmed that no disciplinary action will arise after Sunday’s incredible Reading v Chelsea Premiership match, in which two Chelsea goalkeepers (Petr Cech and Carlo Cudicini) were hospitalised. An FA statement said: ‘The FA has reviewed the incidents involving Stephen Hunt/Petr Cech and Ibrahima Sonko/Carlo Cudicini and has contacted referee Mike […]

  • Classic Moment: Gianfranco Zola’s backheel, Chelsea v Norwich October 19th, 2006 Chelsea

    Zola was a cheeky little scamp, wasn’t he? This lovely goal, scored for Chelsea against Norwich, sums him up perfectly.

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Highlights

  • Top 10 Ultimate ‘One Haircut Wonder’ Footballers
  • Retro Football: Henrik Larsson Gets Celtic Career Off To An Absolute Bloody Stinker, 1997 (Videos)
  • Pies’ Alternative Premier League 2016/17 Team Of The Season
  • The XI: Unpopular Premier League players
  • Retro Football: Marco Van Basten Pitted Against Rene Higuita As AC Milan Take On Atletico Nacional In Toyota Cup, 1989 (Video)
  • No Frills: Football Stickers Chart The Incredible Non-Evolution Of Gareth Barry (Photos)
  • Classic Football Adverts: Bobby Robson & Graham Taylor Send ‘Good Luck’ Cake To New England Manager Terry Venables, 1994 (Video)
  • Photos: Premier League Stars When They Were Young
  • Retro Football: Jimmy Gauld And The Betting Syndicate Scandal That Rocked English Football In The Mid-1960s
  • Retro Football: 10 Brilliant Photos Of Romario
  • Pies Classics: Top 10 Truly Dismal FA Cup Songs
  • RIP Butch: 30 Fabulous Photos Of Ray Wilkins In His Inimitable Prime
  • Retro Football: Fondly Remembering The Halcyon Days Of The Coca Cola Cup And Its Club-Coloured Can Adverts, 1994 (Photos)
  • Galactico Gold: Guti Plays In Zidane With Exquisite Back-Heel Through Ball As Real Madrid Spank Sevilla, 2006 (Video)
  • Top 14 footballers who look a bit like women
  • 10 Tainted Footballers – And How We Should Remember Them
  • Retro Football: Bryan Robson Resplendent In Triple Denim For ‘Easy Jeans’ Modelling Gig, 1980s (Photos)
  • 10 Football Teams Sponsored By Theme Parks
  • Craptastic Non-League Mascot Of The Day: Runcorn’s Corny McCornface (Photo)
  • World Cup Classic Moments: Benjamin Massing Nips In To Delicately Relieve Claudio Caniggia Of Possession During Opening Match At Italia ’90 (Video)
  • A Timely Salute To 5 Football Managers Who Got Themselves Sacked In Style
  • 20 Craptastic MLS And NASL Football Mascots Of Yesteryear
  • Crowns, Car Washes And Coolboxes: 16 Of The Strangest, Naffest ‘Man Of The Match’ Awards Ever Bestowed
  • 15 Photos Of Overheated Footballers Squirting Themselves In The Face With Water Bottles
  • Retro Football Tat: Official Limited Edition Fiorentina Nintendo GameBoy, 1998 (Photos)
  • 10 Current Premier League Players Who Would Be Nailed On For An England ‘B’ Cap
  • Top 20 Memorable World Cup Haircuts
  • Retro Football: Kevin Keegan Calms Newcastle Fans Down On Steps Of St James’ Park After Selling Andy Cole To Man Utd, 1995 (Photos)
  • Top 10 Football Georges
  • Retro Football: Remembering The Great Newcastle United Fashion Show Of 1995 (Photos)

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