Who Ate All The Pies

The Incredible Sulk that is Nicolas Anelka has completed his move to Bolton Wanderers from Fenerbahce in a deal for £8million. Anelka, who must surely be the most expensive player in the world by now (transfers combined… I can’t be bothered doing the maths), is set to join up with fellow strop, El Hadji Diouf. […]

So, it’s the end of the first week of hot Premier League action, and the Pies Fantasy League is alive with the sound of cheering (James and Jez), grumbling (Ashley) and hasty transfer-making. Click below to see how the table stands & feel free to comment/blag the hell out of fellow managers.

SaturdayLiverpool v West Ham (12.45pm) After a so-so performance at Bramall Lane, I expect Liverpool to get their campaign going with a narrow win. 2:1Charlton v Bolton (3pm) No points yet for Charlton but I think they’ll scrape a point against one of the toughest teams in the league. 1:1Fulham v Sheffield Utd (3pm) Jimmy […]

Are you really surprised that Barcelona and Chelsea ended up in the same Champions League group? I’m not. Given that the other two teams in their group are Werder Bremen and Levski Sofia, I doubt Jose Mourinho or Frank Rijkaard are too concerned about having to meet each other for the third year in a […]

‘Ben Thatcher should get a 10-match ban, at least. His forearm smash on Pedro Mendes would get you arrested for GBH if you did it to someone in the street. The FA must be tough about this kind of thing.’ [Blog FC]‘We talk about handballs not being given and dives being given as penalties, and […]

"We cannot blame referees, we cannot blame the opponents, we cannot blame bad luck. We have to blame our own performance." Yep, you read it right the first time… that’s Jose Mourinho slagging off his own team after Chelsea’s defeat to Boro last night. "It was not the sort of attitude that I expected from […]

Now the new season has started, I thought there would be loads of new online footy games to try out… however, this isn’t the case. Still, I’ve managed to fish out an addictive little effort which sees you as someone, who is quite obviously David Beckham, taking freekicks against various national sides. MiniClips have made […]

Ben Thatcher’s disgraceful forearm smash into the jaw of Pedro Mendes, which left the Portsmouth midfielder in hospital, is without doubt one of the worst incidents of violence I’ve ever seen on a football pitch (watch it here, if you haven’t yet seen it). Thatcher’s ‘tackle’ was tantamount to ABH – if he’d have done […]

Yes… yeees… yeeeeees! Shit, did you see that!

For those of you who missed last night’s games, you’ll no doubt be wondering about Ben Thatcher’s vicious forearm, stuck on Pedro Mendes. In all honesty, it looked like the referee, Dermot Gallagher, had a shocker. Not only did he miss one of the worst assaults I’ve seen on a player (it’s up there with […]

Fifa has said Italy may be thrown out of the qualifying campaign for Euro 2008 if Juventus continue to fight relegation to Serie B for match-fixing in the courts. Juve were relegated to Serie B and docked 17 points for trying to exert influence over referees; now they’re trying to take their appeal to a […]

I’m not making this up – there really is a Homeless World Cup. Maybe you knew about it already, but it’s sure as hell news to me. The 2006 Homeless World Cup will be held next month, in South Africa. Each team consists of four players, and each game lasts 14 minutes. I’m not sure […]

A barmy dedicated Brummie has formed a football club to promote his beloved Black Sabbath. Garry Raybould has been trying to drum up support to make sure that Ozzy & co are properly recognised in their hometown. Raybould has created ‘The Ozzy Powered Football Club’, a local-league team that wears shirts that read ‘Free Ozzy’. […]

It’s clear that Martin O’Neill is the most popular man in Aston right now. He’s a popular bloke who is hoping to turn around the fortunes of a sleeping football giant. So, for all you Villians out there, show Martin how much you love him with this fun T Shirt depicting the former pundit as […]

Some of our readers don’t live in Lancashire. I’ve come to accept that. Well, providing this wasn’t a generic ident, you won’t have seen this cheeky little thing. If only it went on for longer! Mof Gimmers

I could have predicted two things before last night’s Liverpool/Maccabi Haifa match. The first being the ever reliable Clive Tyldsley saying that Peter Crouch has got ‘a good touch for a big man’ and secondly, that the match itself would be one of the dullest in history. Will the alleged title contenders please step forward?

Aston Villa v Reading Rejuvenated Villa will have too much for Steve Coppell’s team: 3-1Blackburn v Everton Not a match I’d pay to watch, I must admit. Hope the two teams prove me wrong and it’s a six-goal thriller, but I can’t see it: 0-0Charlton v Man Utd Tough fixture for Charlton, but at least […]

That Cristiano, he’s a crazy guy! Look at the way he casually nutmegs this tubby, middle-aged official – I’m sure Richard Dunne would give the Portuguese winger more problems. Hmm, then again…

One of the greatest goals in FA Cup history. What a run, what a goal, what a chest rug! (Gooners, look away now)

In the first of a weekly series of dilemmas/tricky questions, we start with the following teaser: Who would you rather have in your team’s central defence:Pascal Cygan or Jean-Alain Boumsong (who, btw, has just been offloaded to some little club in Italy called Juventus)? Hmm, that is a tough one. All opinions welcome…

Seeing an ugly footballer with a stunning blonde always puts me in mind of Mrs Merton’s classic one-liner to Debbie McGee: ‘So, Debbie, what first attracted you to millionaire Paul Daniels?’ It’s a sad fact of life that not all famous people are blindingly attractive. Anyway, after extensive research, we can reveal that the Top […]

Whilst I’ve been away for the weekend, without access to any football, I’ve sat around daydreaming about my fave moments in football. One of them has been posted on YouTube. I had a video called ‘World’s Greatest Footballers Vol2’ (I never did get to see Volume 1) which had a stunning strike by Hugo Sanchez. […]

Football is tribal. You pledge your allegiance to a team and you don’t budge. That’s the way it’s supposed to work anyway. My first love has always been Bolton Wanderers. Over the years, I’ve acquired soft spots for teams. Some make sense. Some don’t. For example, my second team I keep an eye on is […]

I’ve been away this weekend and missed the footy highlights. Imagine my glee when I saw this. Goal. Of. The. Season. Yes, this early on. Mof Gimmers (Bolton Wanderers Fan)

Every football manager’s office should have one of those ‘You don’t have to be mad to work here…’ signs. Because, obviously, you do have to be mad to want to be a football manager. Some bosses are madder than others, naturally. Take a look at this lot, for example: