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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Fergie’s crimson face tells the story. Yep, United lost After last night’s defeat to Bayern Munich in the final of the Audi Cup, Man Utd can no longer win the fabled septuple. Yes, United’s season is in tatters and it’s not even August. United lost on pens to Bayern, in the Allianz Arena, after playing […]

With this win, Woy Hodgson’s team have all but assured their place in the next round of the Europa League; the Lithuanian team had no answer to Fulham’s Premier League class last night, as Bobby Zamora, Danny Murphy (pen) and Seol Ki-Hyeon got on the scoresheet. The return leg at the Cottage should be a […]

From this: To this: Jaunty and theatrical, I’d say.

This is how it works: Step 1) Enter our World Cup competition and you could win a very shiny, very lovely Sony Ericsson W996 mobile, which looks like this: Step 2) If you win the phone you are then entered in a special draw to win an amazing Willy Wonka-style ‘Golden Ticket’ to the FIFA […]

Awesome shout by Pies reader Anthony Vernal. To call this shit would be unfair - it’s top quality. Can you do better than Anthony? Email Pies with your suggestion(s).

Can you name that Arsenal player in one? Leave a comment with your shout. Yesterday’s answer: Matty Upson Gold stars for Lee M, Mike P, Mikey and AFJ, who all went for Upson. No star for Oller, who guessed Gareth Barry: FAIL.

The Audi Cup, you say? Yeah, no one cares about it, but still, I thought you might like to check out some high-res pics of Man Yoo in action against Boca Juniors. First, some highlights: Anderson scored his first ever goal in a United shirt (about time), via a brilliant free-kick: New boy Antonio Valencia […]

Pies sincerely hopes you enjoy this photo essay, which commemorates the manly, heterosexual love shared by JT and Lampsy… “He’s all mine.” “Not here John, you twat.” ******************************************************************************************************* “Wahay! Look Lampsy, it’s a ball! Let’s kick the f**k out of it!” “Ha ha. John, you’re such a twat but I love you.” *******************************************************************************************************

Remember Elano’s first few months at City? He played like a God, scoring wonder goals for fun, and generally giving fans the impression that Sven had signed the next Kinkladze. Then, disaster! Sven got the boot and Elano’s mojo vanished. Hardly a surprise. Mark Hughes never rated Elano, or at least he didn’t know how […]

They got the badge wrong… Aaah… what’s that?… Oh. Sorry. My mistake. Seriously though, it still looks weird to see a non-Premier League badge on a Newcastle kit. I’m sure I’ll get used to it though.

Arsenal’s central defenders, at time of writing: William Gallas Philippe Senderos Mikael Silvestre Thomas Vermaelen Johan Djourou The Kolo Touré-shaped hole is large, but despite the Ivorian’s undoubted class, he never played particularly well alongside Billy Gallas; the two didn’t get along off the pitch and that showed on it. Because when you talk about […]

Plenty of transfer toss to consider today, but by far the most interesting rumour comes straight from the big mouth of Ian Wright. The Arsenal goalscoring legend claims that Paddy Vieira may be set for a second stint under Arsene Wenger. Speaking on his TalkSport radio show, Wrighty said: “I’m hearing Vieira, pay-as-you-play back at […]

It’s way too early in the season for a big club like Celtic to contemplate not reaching the lucrative Champions League group stages - but that looks very likely now after last night’s morale-sapping defeat at home to Dinamo Moscow. Not a great way for Tony Mowbray to kick off his tenure at Parkhead.

So the Man City monster rumbles on, scooping up players from the big four and beyond. The latest arrival is Kolo Touré, who has signed a four-year deal worth more than £100,000 a week [@ Man City's official website]. The ex-Arsenal star joins former teammate Emmanuel Adebayor at Eastlands, along with four more new summer […]

1. A very, very bad penalty miss [@ BigSoccer] 2. Alvaro Arbeloa is set to complete a move to Real Madrid from Liverpool after passing a medical [@ BBC Sport] 3. Top 10 Reasons why Football is better than Cricket [@ SoccerLens]

Looking up at the stars makes me think of all the hot guys in the world… Click the photo below to launch the gallery:

Three cheers (at least) to Sasha for this Premier League-quality suggestion. Great spot, Sasha. Got a lookalike for Pies? Email me with your tip, no matter how shit it is.

Think you know who the ballfaced England player is? Then leave a comment with your shout (click the image to enlarge)… Most recent solution: Scott Parker Quite a tough one this, so props to Mike P, who was the first reader to guess correctly.

Diego showed wonderful poise in the penalty area to score on his Juventus debut, in the Italian team’s Peace Cup match against Seongnam of Korea. This is the sort of ability he showed regularly in the Bundesliga for Werder Bremen: Expert finish, eh. Juve won the match 3-0 and now face Real Madrid in what […]

It’s OK, let it all out. Mummy’s here… 1. Pele A 17-year-old Pele cries on the shoulder of Didi as teammates Gilmar and Orlando congratulate him on his fantastic performance in the 1958 World Cup final.

Ah, good to know that you can rely on some things in football today

A Real Madrid fan holds up a Xabi Alonso Liverpool shirt during a recent friendly between Real and Al Ittihad at the Bernabeu Xabi Alonso is one of those players who even most non-Liverpool fans have a sneaking (or open) fondness for. I’ve heard several fans say they think Xabi is overrated but I’ve never […]

(l to r) Danijel Pranjic, Franck Ribery and Philipp Lahm lark about with mobile phones during Bayern Munich’s official pre-season photocall. A subtle nod to Bayern’s telecom co. shirt sponsor, I guess. [Photo: Andreas Gebert/DPA/Press Association]

There’s a prize incentive for Spot the Baller today. If you answer the following StBs correctly, you could win a copy of ‘The Beckham Experiment’ by Grant Wahl. I’ve read the book already and it’s a fascinating account of Becks’ time in the States (read my review here), expertly written by Sports Illustrated’s senior ‘soccer’ […]

We got ourselves a couple of Sideshow Bobs here. Lichte is the assistant coach for SC Paderborn (of Bundesliga 2 fame), and Gladwell is the cult author of best-sellers ‘Blink’ and ‘Tipping Point’. PS. Many thanks for all the Lookalikes you emailed in while Pies was inactive. Keep em’ coming!