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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Chelsea’s sour grapes do them no favours “The word conspiracy is maybe the wrong one. It’s difficult when players are so high on emotion after a game. However, people are saying we shouldn’t have reacted the way we did. But the fact is, six decisions went against us in front of 40,000 people. And for […]

Chelsea’s No.1 celebrity fan rages at the injustice of it all Immediately after Chelsea were knocked out by Barcelona, Tim Lovejoy posted up a video blog of his thoughts on the game (watch it here). Here are some things that Tim feels in his heart: He’s “gutted” La Liga is a “tinpot” league The ref […]

Chelsea’s German midfielder chases inept Norwegian ref… Poor Ballack, ever the bridesmaid and edging ever closer to retirement. That’s all folks! [Via Dirty Tackle]

Chelsea’s favourite ref and Hollywood’s favourite slaphead If he were alive today, I doubt Brynner would do a worse job of refereeing a football match than Ovrebo did last night. Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email me or leave a comment.

Two brilliant strikes bookend a fascinating tie… First up, Michael Essien swings his left peg to brilliant effect, to give Chelsea an undeserved lead inside ten minutes. Goal of the season? Probably. Then, with the final whistle seconds away, Andres Iniesta swings his right peg, also to brilliant effect, to put Barcelona through. Watch the […]

The Drog loses it After Barcelona’s late, late equaliser/winner at the Bridge last night, Didier Drogba was not a happy bunny. As the above video shows, he harrassed the ref, Tom Henning Ovrebo, calling the Norwegian ref’s performance “a fucking disgrace”. Watch the Drog swear his massive head off below…

Ron wiggles his hips and BOOM! Unlike so many speculative wonder strikes from distance, Ronaldinho’s goal at the Bridge required daring, cheek, pure instinct and vision – as Clive Tyldesley said, “You didn’t see it coming”. No other player could have scored it, and that’s why I love this goal. Shame about Barcelona’s sickly away […]

Ex-ref says Roberto Rosetti was right to show red card to Man Utd player That’s right folks, Poll says Fletcher deserved to be sent off in last night’s CL semi. The Scot will now miss the final. In his Daily Mail column, Poll wrote:

Athletic power v pure skill. Who ya got? Chelsea parked the bus at the Camp Nou and just about got away with it. Cue moans about negative football from the Barcelona camp. Fair enough, but there was no way Guus Hiddink was going to engage Barca in an open game of football. And 0-0 looks […]

May taste bitter… It’s a moist sponge cake coated with disappointment and filled with false hope. Delicious.

Sky Sports legend tells it like it is Go Jeff. Glad someone has the balls to take the weasel Alves to task. Fine player, serial diver. Bonus vid! Jeff goes wild on Championship D-day…

Yah, real good now One likes pancakes, killing people and Marlboro cigarettes. The other is Arsenal’s goalkeeper. Thanks to Kipp for this one. Yah. More Shit Lookalikes

The best reaction to United’s walk in the park “It was 11 men against 11 babies. We never doubted ourselves.” Patrice Evra gets cocky after the event “It is the most disappointing night of my career. I felt the fans were really up for a big night and to disappoint people who stand behind the […]

Last night’s game reviewed in handy list format 1. What sound does a one-armed man clapping make? Or the sound of a massive anticlimax? I imagine it’s similar to the noise inside the Emirates after 11 minutes, when the game was effectively killed off by C-Ron’s 40-yard free-kick (great strike but Manuel Almunia should have […]

Gooners, look away now My 10 conclusions on the match coming soon…

Dear Jim,
Please can you fix it for me so that Manchester United play Barcelona in this year’s Champions League final.

Twenty-five minutes into last night’s Champions League semi final, Arsenal’s manager faces the harsh reality that his team is not yet good enough to compete at the highest level.

Alex Ferguson knows better than most that Cristiano Ronaldo may move to Real Madrid this summer. Fergie’s first choice to replace C-Ron is Lionel Messi, but there’s zero chance that Messi will swap Barcelona for Manchester.

What does Arsenal’s gaffer know that no one else does?

A Mexican player has been suspended from South America’s Copa Libertadores tournament, for pretending to cough and spit in an opponent’s face – gestures interpreted as threatening to spread swine flu.

Rumours abound that Roman Abramovich (pictured above, jumping off one of his yachts) lost a $500,000 yacht in a game of poker. Abramovich’s people have denied the rumour: “The story is absolutely, completely, entirely false,” said John Mann, a spokesman for Chelsea’s owner.

Deliberate FAIL, or not? You decide…

Njanka’s FWG deserved to win this World Cup group game for Cameroon, but Toni Polster equalised for Austria in the 90th minute, the party pooper.

Snapped as Everton beat Man Utd on penalties in last month’s FA Cup semi final.

“Lots of people tell me that I look like him. He has actually influenced my choice of hairstyle and I have even studied the way he smokes so I can hold my cigarette in the same way.”