cool hit counter

Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

Who Ate All The Pies Logo
latest stories

Liverpool drew a blank in the opening match of their pre-season tour of Switzerland and Austria. The result won’t bother Rafa Benitez, who fiddled extensively with his line-up - he made 11 substitutions at half-time! – and also had to make do without his Spanish contingent (still on holiday after the exertions of the Confederations Cup). […]

Like a Geoff Thomas shot, musical parodies often miss the mark – but this works perfectly, not just because Mark Viduka’s name fits the chorus to Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ perfectly, but because it’s funny that anyone would choose such an inconsistent, mercurial player as Viduka to song-worship.

By the power of Greyskull, who the hell is this? (Click image to enlarge). If you think you know, leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday’s answer: Florent Malouda Yep, it was little Malouda. Well done to those of you who didn’t fall for my cunning Ashley Cole-shaped trap.

Just picked this up from one of the sports journos I follow on Twitter (Steve Anglesey @ the Mirror) and thought you should hear it too: Gary Neville alleged to have introduced Mickey Owen to Danny Wellbeck at Carrington thus: “This is Danny. He’s 18 and HE’S won the league.” Ha, that would be just […]

John Terry, aged 19, in action for Nottm Forest in April 2000. [Photo: PA] Aw, bless - look at his gormless chav face. Sweet. Mr JT spent a brief period on loan at Forest in 2000 - it certainly looks strange to see him in a red shirt.

Rather than hire a sexy beauty queen to show off your new kit (as Linfield did), West Ham Utd turned to celeb fan Ray Winstone (aka Ray, 52, from Essex) to show off its new Umbro home kit (that or Matty Upson really piled on the pounds)… Ray told WHTV: “This is beautiful, it is […]

The hair, the hair! Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email me with your shout. Thanks for all of the ones you guys have already sent in. I will get around to posting up the best ones in the next couple of weeks. But keep ‘em coming…

Crouchinho, an artist’s impression… @ Fulham: @ Sunderland: @ Spurs: (Yes, my PhotoShop skills are strong today.) I’ve read reports that Sunderland have agreed a £12m fee with Pompey for Crouchy. I’ve also heard that the player himself would rather go to Fulham or Spurs, but that Fulham might not be able to match his […]

Emmanuel Adebayor is off to Man City, barring a problem with his work permit; and as that wasn’t a problem for him when he joined Arsenal, it should be fine this time around. Arsenal will get around £25m for the striker, which seems like a fair price. I think Adebayor has the potential to be […]

Danny Dichio now plays for Toronto FC in MLS. He is a cult hero of Toronto’s fans, much as he was at QPR, Sunderland and indeed most of the clubs he’s played for. That’s how Danny rolls - fans love his whole-hearted play, which he combines with a large dollop of humility. He’s made the most […]

This screenshot compares the new faces of Liverpool players for Konami’s Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 with those in the previous version. All of the faces are more realistic, with the exception of Stevie G, who looks like he has bad AIDS. Torres looks spookily like the real thing, and they’ve got Carragher’s furrowed forehead spot-on. […]

It’s fairly safe to say that Stewart Downing is on his way to the Villa, for a reported fee of £12m. For all those fans who slag off Downing - there is something of the victim about him that makes him an easy target - they should remember that Glen Johnson cost £18m… Villa and Downing will […]

Latest on the JT situation: Man City boss Mark Hughes has gone public in his pursuit of Mr Chelsea, by saying that the player would benefit from a ‘change of scenery’ (not to mention a massive pay rise). Sparky said: “We would like to think we could offer John a different challenge. He’s been at […]

Hot, fresh pics of Tevez at Eastlands this afternoon. He and Sparky make a lovely couple… Click on the image to launch the gallery:

Real Madrid are currently on a pre-season tour of Ireland. Pies has some exclusive pics of His Royal Highness Cristiano Ronaldo in training for you to gawp at… Click on the image to launch the gallery [Photos: PA]:

Think you know who the ball-faced footballer is? (Click image to enlarge) Leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday’s answer: Gilles Grimandi Many different Arsenal players were named, but only a couple of you got it right. Richie B was the first reader to nail it. As he said, ‘something about the sleeves is saying […]

A simple vote, just because I’d be interested to see which fans ‘win’. (I know who my money is on, just as I know who I’d vote for - every time - but I won’t say just now.) So let it out… which team’s fans do you find the most irritating, self-righteous, idiotic etc? Vote below: Which of […]

The A is for my authority, which many players seem to question, thinking they’re somehow going to make me change my mind. B is for babies, which a lot of managers cry like after a decision has not gone their way. C is for the continual criticism I recieve from the touchline - get back in […]

Hadouken! Pub quiz ammo: Ken’s surname is Masters. Got a shit lookalike for Pies? Email me now with your shout.

Gabriel Obertan looks like the result of a failed Fly-style teleportation experiment between Mikael Silvestre and Barack Obama. But he sounds much more like compatriot Thierry Henry… Va va voom.

I’ll admit it: I want Michael Owen to be the Premier League’s top scorer this season. There, I said it. Then I want him to go to the World Cup with England and win the Golden Shoe/Boot/Whatever FIFA call it now. It’s a crazy dream, I know, but then a small part of me still […]

The world tour for Tony Hart’s Gallery was a massive success As expected, Tevez is off to City, for £25.5m. And so another pampered ego who couldn’t do his time on the bench moves on. But will things be any different for the whinging Tevez at Eastlands? Let’s look at the facts… City’s ridiculously swollen […]

Becks is back in training for LA Galaxy. Here he faces the usual array of media microphones. [Photo: PA] Yesterday Dave had his first training session with the Galaxy, after returning from his loan spell in Milan. His public feud with team-mate Landon Donovan was the issue on every reporter’s lips, but Becks claimed that […]

1. Oasis and Kasabian back England 2018 World Cup bid. [@ England 2018 bid] 2. Very sad news. John Hartson diagnosed with brain cancer. [@ BBC] 3. Man Utd to sign the ‘new Ronaldinho’? [@ Guardian] 4. Watch Alex Ferguson’s first press conference ahead of the new season. [@ 101GreatGoals] 5. Kiko Macheda robbed at […]

Hmm, this wasn’t what I ordered. Today’s quote of the day was uttered by Man Utd boss Alex Ferguson: “It is the end of our [transfer] business, so all these stories about who were are supposed to be getting – forget it.” Either this is a huge bluff or Fergie is pocketing a very large […]