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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Fergie makes £6m on Spanish defender – but should he have kept him? Barcelona have just re-signed Gerard Pique from Man Utd, for a fee reported to be around £6m. Pique is only 21 and he failed to break into United’s first team – not a great surprise, given the stellar form of Rio Ferdinand […]

Is this what Arsenal will be wearing next season? This is a “leaked” photo of Arsenal’s new home and away kits for the 2008/09 campaign. It’s been floating around the web for a while now, but I’m still suspicious of the photos’ authenticity. To my eyes, the kits look unfinished, amateurish even – especially for […]

Another meaningless friendly international? You bet! David Beckham, talking to sleeve, stretching groin.

Van der Sar and team-mates muddy-up for Dutch newspaper Scared? I was, when I saw this photo of Edwin van der Sar, taken for AD’s Euro 2008 supplement. When the photographer, Erwin Olaf, was asked how he described the shoot to the players, he said: “…they would be portrayed as lust objects, that there were […]

Remembering the poor man’s Makelele THEN In his time at Chelsea (1990-99), Newton earned a reputation as a reliable squad player, best utilised in a defensive midfield role. In many ways, he can now be viewed as the poor man’s Claude Makelele. He graduated to Chelsea’s senior squad from the club’s youth system, and enjoyed […]

Which central defender deserves the England armband? Don Capello has chosen JT to skipper England for their next game, a meaningless friendly against the USA, presumably as a consolation prize for spunking the CL final up the wall. But is Terry the best long-term candidate? Let’s see… JOHN TERRY Strengths Indestructible, fearless, passionate, great in […]

Ticket-text.com, Europe’s leading mobile ticketing company, has teamed up with Pies to offer readers the chance to watch the Republic of Ireland v Colombia international match at Craven Cottage on Thursday May 29th. It’s the perfect opportunity for football fans to watch a cracking friendly while also experiencing the latest in ticketing technology with two […]

Boro’s forgotten star versus Jeff Daniels’ retard Thanks to Pies reader Dan Chubb for this one. More Shit Lookalikes

Despite losing the title on the final day of the season and the Champions League only because of a John Terry slip, Chelsea sacked Avram Grant at the weekend. Given that his main downfall (apart from failing to entertain the Roman Emperor sufficiently) was not living up to the charisma of Jose Mourinho, we thought the best way to mark his departure was his top quotes.

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How many managers does it take to spend £50 million? None, apparently.

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La Galaxy’s David Beckham scored from 70 yards in his side’s 3-1 victory over Kansas City Wizards. The ex-England skipper fired into an empty net after WIzards keeper Kevin Hartman had gone forward for a corner to press for an equaliser. The goal was scored from further out than Beckham’s unforgettable long-range effort against Wimbledon.

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Welcome to the Premier League, Hull City! The Championship play-off winners will be bringing their own unique brand of style and class to top-flight football for the first time in their history. We could not let the occasion pass without celebrating their 1993 kit, which is probably the worst football kit of all time. Although, it is so bad that it is actually quite endearing. Pity the poor kit designer whose lightbulb moment was preceded by the sentence, “So your nickname is the Tigers, eh?” Pity also the Hull fans who had to trek around the country looking like a squadron of cheap hookers.

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We have heard of managers achieving success on a shoestring budget, but the BBC is expecting Gordon Strachan to work miracles at Celtic. According to today’s Gossip Column, the Bhoys boss will be handed a 20 quid transfer kitty in the summer. That’s barely even enough to treat Artur Boruc to a new controversial t-shirt.

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Well, you can make your own minds up from this GIF. Just what is JT doing behind that sleeve? If he was trying to hide it from the referee, it is far from subtle. Anyway you can mull it over and let us know. Enjoy your Bank Holiday weekend (unless you live in a country that does not have one, in which case enjoy your normal weekend. And if you live in a country that doesn’t have a normal weekend, move).

Games

Fiendish Friday Quiz

May 23rd, 2008

Flexing your football brain at Friday lunch-time
1. Career path Chelsea, Blackburn, West Ham, Fulham (current)
2. Multiple choice How many of Man Yoo’s 18-man squad for the 1999 Champions League final are still at the club?
a) two, b) three, c) four, d) five
3. Picture round Who’s the chap with mic in the head?

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Manchester United fans are fuming after being denied a Champions League victory parade because Greater Manchester Police and Manchester City Council are still scraping drunken Glaswegians off the pavements following the Uefa Cup final. It seems very harsh that Man Yoo fans cannot celebrate a fantastic double with the traditional open-top bus tour. In fact it is so unfair that I have devised two contingency plans.

Arsenal are on the verge of signing French youngster Samir Nasri so we had better give you the lowdown.

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Name Samir Nasri
Age 20
Nationality French
Club history Marseille

Spurs went for motorway chic with this mid-1980s kit. The design, courtesy of Danish company Hummel, features not only chevrons but also a hatched area across the chest. Dribbling round this lot must have felt like a tour of the M25. The chevrons across the middle of the shirt are very useful, but I’m sure […]

Thierry Henry to Spurs? Surely not…

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1. Robinho to Chelsea
The Real Madrid star’s agent has flown to London to generate a transfer to one of the Premier League’s big boys, and Chelsea are front of the key. Real are reluctant to sell, but that will count for little if the pint-sized Brazilian wants to move. [Telegraph]

Time for another stroll down Memory Lane (via Iceland).

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Six ‘ballers who love to shed the tears.

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1. Paul Gascoigne (England)
Famously broke down after picking up a yellow card in the World Cup semi-final in 1990 which meant he would miss the final.

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As Ryan Giggs comes to terms with becoming a double European Cup winner and holder of Manchester United’s record for most appearances we celebrate some classic Horror Hair from the Welsh wizard. Lest we forget, this was the era of the Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff (tick, tick, tick, tick, BOOM!) and Giggs has cannily incorporated his wavy locks into this Will Smith-style flat top. A stroke of Horror Hair genius.

If the cap Vids

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Transfer truths or sneaky speculation from bored hacks? You decide.

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1. Samir Nasri to Arsenal
Arsene Wenger has launched an £11 million bid to bring the new Zidane to the Emirates. Nasri wants to make the move and the only stumbling block is Marseille’s masterplan that they might get Hatem Ben Arfa in a swap deal if they sell to Lyon instead.

The best bits from last night’s gripping Champions League final This wasn’t a classic game, but it was very tense and utterly absorbing, I thought – on reflection, United just about deserved to win, as they could have been three or four goals up in the first half. Credit to Chelsea for coming back and […]