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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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C-Ron’s tan reaching dangerous levels The Offside has noticed, brilliantly, that C-Ron is turning into an Oompa Loompa, and we don’t disagree. He’s also starting to look like a Guido. If you’re not aware of Guidos (see photo, left, for example), Urban Dictionary describes them as follows: “A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not […]

Hibs torn apart in Pep Guardiola’s first match as Barca boss Having already been knocked out of the InterToto Cup earlier this month, Hibs’ confidence is clearly low – not a great time to face Barcelona then. The vistiors gave their hosts a football lesson. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Chelsea kick off China tour with easy win Chelsea’s goals came from Salomon Kalou, Frank Lampard (a lovely chip from 20 yards), Franco di Santo and Shaun Wright-Phillips. The only negative for the tourists was a first-half injury to new boy Jose Boswinga. In other Chelski news, the club has reportedly offered Lampard the deal […]

The best photos from United’s second South African exhibition match Click on the image to launch the gallery (and watch Lee Martin’s winning goal after the jump)…

The lowdown on West Ham’s latest signing Name Valon Behrami Age 23 Nationality Swiss Position Winger Club history Lugano, Genoa, Lazio, West Ham Utd (current)

We salute the most flamboyant man in football Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Thursday’s loveliest links WIll Ferrell hearts Chelsea The American funny man was spotted on Jon Stewart’s Daily Show (there to promote new movie Step Brothers) wearing a Chelsea shirt. Go figure. [Unprofessional Foul] Safe soccer Some Cape Town footballers are putting condoms on their feet, so that their socks can stay up longer during matches. […]

Fergie thinks so… do you agree with him? Alex Ferguson thinks Chelsea have too many thirtysomethings to challenge his squad of young bucks this season. The Man Utd boss said of Big Phil Scolari’s team: “How can they accelerate beyond what they’ve done? I don’t see outstanding progress in a team that is in their 30s.” […]

Pics from Boro’s opening Algarve Cup (classy name) tie Click on the image to launch the gallery…

Marvel at footballers and the way they train Chelsea fans, had you forgotten what your heroes look like? If so, click play and refamiliarise yourself with the likes of F-Wank Lampard and Nicola Anelka. But not Didier Drogba, as he’s not in China – the Drog is getting over a knee injury and had to […]

Man Utd star looks more of a dick than ever… Holy moly, has C-Ron been bathing in a mixture of Sunny Delight and baby shit? That is one fierce orange tan, even for a Mediterranean gigolo. FAIL… in a large motherf**king way. [Just Jared]

Footage from pre-season scrap Parts two, three and four after the jump…

This morning’s soccer-shaped snacks Football gastronomy English clubs ditch the sloppy pies and Bovril, and replace them with parsnip crisps and fresh pasta. [Guardian] Shit Lookalikes Franck Ribery as Al Pacino in The Godfather. Nope, we don’t see it. [The Spoiler] Kit Parade Top 5 worst football shirts for the new Premier League season. One […]

Read our lips: these players are NOT for sale Click image below to launch gallery…

The best images from Man Yoo’s first friendly in South Africa Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

South African club holds United to draw In which Chris Eagles far-post header spares United’s blushes.

Pics from United’s pre-season tour Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

“Yep, smells like $250m to me…” Mr JT (not John Terry, but the talented Timberlake) wowed guests – including Posh & Becks and C-Ron – at the ESPY sports awards ceremony last week. Here he is embarrassing the shit out of our David.

A good win for Roy Hodgson’s new-look Cottagers Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Highlights from both Arsenal and Liverpool’s weekend friendlies… Barnet 1-2 Arsenal Meh. Not too much learned from this.

Yeah, it’s a slow news day & I’d rather blog about footballers with long, equine heads than more bullshit transfer rumours Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

British fans show the Yanks how to do it A tasty half-time scrap between more than 100 fans was the talking point of West Ham’s 3-1 win against Columbus Crew in Ohio on Sunday. The trouble began when a small mob of Hammers, seemingly intent on flexing their muscles and also protecting England’s reputation as […]

Arsenal sneak friendly win over north London neighbours Nothing much to report from the game, which was played in an over-friendly spirit – Barnet don’t want to do anything to jeopardise this lucrative fixture, clearly. Aaron Ramsey made his Arsenal debut and looked the part, according to a match report. The Gunners’ two goals came […]

Political correctness gone mad! In which Spartak Moscow defender Radoslav Kovac takes out a topless fan, with a beautiful professional foul, and then gets booked for his vigilante behaviour. [Via The Spoiler]

With Liverpool & Mun Utd circling, Spurs must keep at least one of its star strikers It seems very likely that Berbatov will sign for Man Utd this summer: Fergie wants him – the Utd boss has “good expectations” that the Bulgarian will come to Old Trafford – and Berby himself wants to join United, […]