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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Sorry I didn’t get around to writing this up sooner, but as I mentioned a couple of days ago, Pies is currently undergoing a redesign, and so our resources have been directed elsewhere. Stick with us and I promise we’ll deliver a better Pies for all mankind. Anyway, this was a cracking final to finish […]

Probably the most bullshit-flavoured transfer talk I’ve seen The Sun trot out so far this summer. Arshavin’s quote - if he even said it – carries about as much weight as me saying “I would quite like to sleep with Adriana Lima one day… she’s very attractive.” [Image and more quality ranting @ Arseblog]

I’m in two minds about the very real possibility of the US of A becoming a major force in world football in the next decade. This summer’s Confed Cup has shown that America has the potential to compete with the likes of Brazil and Spain, and although I still think they have no chance to […]

Chad Marshall is a defender for Columbus Crew. John C Reilly is a character actor - you might recognise him from his fine work in such movies as Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Step Brothers, The Gangs of New York, Hard Eight, Talladega Nights and Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Thanks to Harrington Weihl for the tip. […]

Apparently this is the only way that Fat-Ron could be persuaded by his club Corinthians to lose weight. Only joking (ahem)… this is, as the headline says, a viral ad to promote some Brazilian soft drink. Well actually, this is behind-the-scenes footage of Fat-Ron prancing around like Godzuki. [Head over to Dirty Tackle for the […]

England continued in the fine tradition of blowing it in major tournaments, by getting hammered by Germany in the U21 Euros final earlier this evening – as the headline says, it was a depressingly familiar story. To be fair to Stuart Pearce, who has matured as a manager during this tournament, his side was greatly […]

Be honest, you’d rather Murray won Wimbles than Psycho’s lads won in Sweden tonight. It’s OK, I won’t tell anyone… What would you prefer: England win U21 Euros or Andy Murray wins Wimbledon?(answers)

So it’s England versus our old pals Germany in the final of a major international football tournament. It really should be the only thing that anyone is talking about today. And yet the papers are dominated by Jacko, a heatwave and some Scottish bloke doing OK at Wimbledon. Sure, I care about those things, but […]

Even getting master juggler Billy Wingrove to show off Spurs’ new kit is not enough to convince me that it’s a smart kit. PS. Sorry for lack of posts today. Still waist-deep in Pies’ new redesign.

I can’t think of many less meaningful non-friendly internationals than the third-fourth place play-off at the Confederations Cup, but this vid is worth watching for Katlega Mphela’s wonderful free-kick in stoppage time. The South African’s net burster made the score 2-2 and forced extra time, during which Liverpool’s Xabi Alonso won the match, also with […]

Next month (17 July, to be precise), indie rockers Doves – who support Man City – will play a concert in the car park of Eastlands Stadium (it doesn’t get much more rock ‘n’ roll than that, folks). The ‘Live from City’ gig is also sponsored by Umbro, who make City’s new kit. As such, […]

Yes, more tenuous Jacko v football tribute shenanigans. At least one footballer has celebrated scoring a goal by attempting the moonwalk. In Britain at least, the most famous of these is Bas Savage, who currently plays up front for Tranmere Rovers.

The teaser images made it just about clear enough that Man Utd’s new home kit features a big black chevron on the chest. And now the strip has officially been launched, we can see clearly that this is the case. First thoughts: why?! There’s no possible reason to place a black chevron so prominently on […]

Super sub Dani Alves – there aren’t many other teams in world football that can afford to leave a player of his quality on the bench – silenced the hosts’ vuvuzelas with a killer goal just two minutes before full time in last night’s Confed Cup semi final. It was a poor game, although the […]

Might as well get this up before the internet breaks completely - thanks to Gary Andrews for reminding me, via Twitter, of Jacko’s most tenuous of links to British football. RIP Wacko; long live the Grecians.

The final group kicks off today… Zlatan Ibrahimovic v Rio Ferdinand (Group G) Extremely cocky attacker v extremely metrosexual defender. Who you got? Vote below:

“It’s a great honour to be voted Dad of the Year. I have won many trophies in my career but I’m proud to say that this is up there with all of them.” John Terry, who was in no way shilling for Daddies sauce as part of a Father’s Day promotion (let’s be clear about […]

Today’s lookalike is a bit obscure, but you get two points for knowing that Fernandez is one of South Africa’s Confed Cup goalkeepers (he plays for Arminia Bielefeld in the German Bundesliga), and that Farleigh is an entrepreneur who used to sit on the panel of BBC’s Dragon’s Den. Email Pies with your lookalikes.

Who saw this coming!? Not me. Not anyone really. And so the USA prevented the Spanish from setting a new world record of 36 matches without a defeat. Somone had to stop Del Bosque’s men – I just didn’t expect it to be the States. Who’s to say Bob Bradley’s team, which is peaking with […]

Gooch Onyewu enjoys the spoils after the USA’s amazing win over Spain A potted match report: USA took their chances, Gooch defended like a Minotaur (when he’s on his game, he’s close to unbeatable) and Spain looked absolutely knackered. Congrats to the States, who will play either Brazil or hosts South Africa in the final. […]

After spending much of last summer talking out of turn about a possible transfer to Milan, it seems Emmanuel Adebayor has learned absolutely nothing. The player’s agent, Stephane Courbis, has been mouthing off again, on his client’s behalf. In an interview with, Courbis talked about Adebayor’s future: “As of today, I have not even […]

Eastville for Entertainment! Holy smokes, football has changed a lot in the last 35 years – if you showed this clip to C-Ron, he wouldn’t recognise it as football. Watch out for the cheeky scamps who try to trip up their own players using scarves, the heavy landing by one parachutist, and one of the […]

One is a striker for the US national team (he scored the opener against Egypt at the Confed Cup), the other is a B-list actor who starred in Crash and Iron Man. They could be brothers. Almost. Got a lookalike (must be a bit shit) for Pies? Email us with your suggestion.

Chelsea’s billionaire owner, Roman Abramovich, has just bought a £288m yacht, with built-in missile defence system. He could have got almost four Cristiano Ronaldos for that. Except… C-Ron would never have signed for Chelsea. I wouldn’t be surprised if Roman bought the yacht to cheer himself up, because he must feel like every star player he […]

Since the season ended and the transfer silly season began, Pies has been asking club fans to vote for the last player at the club they would want to get rid of. Today it’s the turn of Rafa Benitez’s Liverpool. If you had to sell all but one of the Fat Waiter’s players (to build […]