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Who ate all the pies

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Something about seeing the words “Reg Vardy” in this environment made me laugh Childish, yes. Funny, ditto.

Newcastle are fools to stand by Barton Joey Barton is a dick, a yob, a violent criminal, a nasty piece of work… whatever, he’s the sort of Neanderthal you look to avoid on a Friday night out, because you know he has a short fuse. Kevin Keegan has given him a second chance, but how many […]

Keane is the final piece in Rafa Benitez’s puzzle I’ve noticed that on a lot of football forums, both Liverpool and Spurs fans are claiming that Robbie Keane is past it; Spurs fans say it because they’re sad to see him go, Liverpool fans say it because perhaps they would rather sign a younger buck […]

Tuesday’s tastiest soccer snacks Fergie may make shock £15m swoop for Thierry Henry, says the Daily Star William Gallas admits last season’s tantrum at Birmingham was a “mistake”. [Independent] Sven-Goran Eriksson should slap on some sunblock… [Monterrey Offside] Has Owen Hargreaves broken up with his WAG? [Kickette] Arsenal bang ten goals past Burgenland in friendly. […]

Premier League champs beat FA Cup holders in Africa Goals by Carlos Tevez, who also missed a penalty, and Chris Eagles saw United beat Pompey in a lively encounter in Abuja. Jermain Defoe scored an 89th-minute consolation for Harry Redknapp’s team. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Villa 1-0 Odense Great solo goal by Ashley Young to win the tie. More videos after the jump:

Villa reach final round of qualifiers This was a far more comfortable win than the score suggests, but any delight felt by Martin O’Neill in winning the tie will have been tempered by Wilfred Bouma’s dislocated ankle (see picture). It was a very nasty injury, and the Dutch defender will surely be out for several […]

Berby vs not-particularly-funny comedian Thanks to Charlie Constantinou for the fine spot. More Shit lookalikes

This week’s most popular posts on Pies Valon Behrami’s new WAG has the hotness Player booked for cynical foul on pitch invader Top six horse-face footballers C-Ron’s amazing mahogany legs Chelsea too old to win the title? Top six ridiculous Djibril Cisse looks

Shorts and flip-flops vs riot shields and batons… who you got? Take that, feisty lady dressed in flimsy summer clothes! [With Leather]

Could you keep a straight face? Fcb trikot the musicalUploaded by goalbumbum In future, all news kits will be launched using the power of interpretive dance and hot models. For now, stand up and take a bow, Bayern Munich – you are truly pioneers. [Bundesliga Offside]

Games

The Super Shirt Quiz

July 25th, 2008

Name the six clubs from these photos. Some are current strips, some from days gone by… Answers after the jump (no cheating)…

Villa captain booed during reserve game, but does he deserve it? Barry was booed and jeered by a section of Villa fans when he played for their reserves against Walsall a few days ago – the fact that Barry ended up at the Bescot was a sign that Martin O’Neill wanted to make an example […]

Friday’s news balls Spanked by Yanks West Ham lost 3-2 to David Beckham’s MLS All-Stars. [The Spoiler] Unsafe hands Spurs keeper Paul Robinson off to Blackburn in a £3.5m deal. Robbo will replace Brad Friedel, who is off to Aston Villa. [Mirror] The Joy of Cesc Fabregas visits Disneyland, wears Mickey Mouse-themed wizard’s hat. [Kickette] […]

C-Ron’s tan reaching dangerous levels The Offside has noticed, brilliantly, that C-Ron is turning into an Oompa Loompa, and we don’t disagree. He’s also starting to look like a Guido. If you’re not aware of Guidos (see photo, left, for example), Urban Dictionary describes them as follows: “A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not […]

Hibs torn apart in Pep Guardiola’s first match as Barca boss Having already been knocked out of the InterToto Cup earlier this month, Hibs’ confidence is clearly low – not a great time to face Barcelona then. The vistiors gave their hosts a football lesson. Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Chelsea kick off China tour with easy win Chelsea’s goals came from Salomon Kalou, Frank Lampard (a lovely chip from 20 yards), Franco di Santo and Shaun Wright-Phillips. The only negative for the tourists was a first-half injury to new boy Jose Boswinga. In other Chelski news, the club has reportedly offered Lampard the deal […]

The best photos from United’s second South African exhibition match Click on the image to launch the gallery (and watch Lee Martin’s winning goal after the jump)…

The lowdown on West Ham’s latest signing Name Valon Behrami Age 23 Nationality Swiss Position Winger Club history Lugano, Genoa, Lazio, West Ham Utd (current)

We salute the most flamboyant man in football Click on the image below to launch the gallery…

Thursday’s loveliest links WIll Ferrell hearts Chelsea The American funny man was spotted on Jon Stewart’s Daily Show (there to promote new movie Step Brothers) wearing a Chelsea shirt. Go figure. [Unprofessional Foul] Safe soccer Some Cape Town footballers are putting condoms on their feet, so that their socks can stay up longer during matches. […]

Fergie thinks so… do you agree with him? Alex Ferguson thinks Chelsea have too many thirtysomethings to challenge his squad of young bucks this season. The Man Utd boss said of Big Phil Scolari’s team: “How can they accelerate beyond what they’ve done? I don’t see outstanding progress in a team that is in their 30s.” […]

Pics from Boro’s opening Algarve Cup (classy name) tie Click on the image to launch the gallery…

Marvel at footballers and the way they train Chelsea fans, had you forgotten what your heroes look like? If so, click play and refamiliarise yourself with the likes of F-Wank Lampard and Nicola Anelka. But not Didier Drogba, as he’s not in China – the Drog is getting over a knee injury and had to […]

Man Utd star looks more of a dick than ever… Holy moly, has C-Ron been bathing in a mixture of Sunny Delight and baby shit? That is one fierce orange tan, even for a Mediterranean gigolo. FAIL… in a large motherf**king way. [Just Jared]