David Beckham collected an Outstanding Contribution to British Sport award (there is a message of hope to all Real Madrid benchwarmers) at the Sports Industry Awards 2007 last night sporting his new haircut. There is definitely a touch of the Tintins about his new strawberry blond short-back-and-sides-avec-quiff. No murmurs about them both having a faithful [...]

The only way is down for Lee (our new betting wizard: ex-Observer Sport Monthly and Racing Post tipster) after his astonishing 150-1 debut, but here goes anyway: 7-1 LIVERPOOL TO BEAT ARSENAL 1-0 Arsenal have won their last four against Liverpool but, stats fans, have lost their last two Premiership visits to Anfield (both by [...]

England captain John Terry ripped a shirt out of the hands of his Andorra counterpart following Wednesday night’s Euro 2008 qualifier. Terry waded in to retrieve Jermain Defoe’s shirt from Oscar Sonjee. The Chelsea man was unhappy at Andorra’s intimidation tactics and attempted to stop the England players swapping shirts in the tunnel. Sonjee moaned: [...]

We did feature this Classic Moment on Pies many moons ago, but it is worth seeing again as Liverpool and Arsenal meet at Anfield tomorrow. Michael Thomas bundles his way through the Reds’ defence to win the league for Arsenal in the most dramatic circumstances. “It’s up for grabs now!” [Rob Parker]

This clip from last night’s Euro 2008 qualifier between Luxembourg and Romania shows a Luxembourg defender having a bit of a Phil Babb moment. The unfortunate player to slide into the post groin first? Jerome Bigard! You can’t make this stuff up. I’ll leave the obvious puns to you, our faithful Pies readers. [Rob Parker]

The entire Czech Republic squad has been stung with a £25,000 fine after Tomas Rosicky and five team-mates spent the night in a Prague hotel with six prostitutes, following the team’s 2-1 home defeat to Germany in the Euro 08 qualifiers. All very rock ‘n’ roll, but you have to wonder what was going through [...]

As some of Europe’s top teams prepare to work through their mammoth fixture pile-ups, the top bods at Uefa have decided more matches is the way forward. They plan to make their all-consuming Champions League monster even flabbier by offering places to some of Europe’s domestic cup winners. One or more Champions League places would [...]

Who Ate All the Cupcakes?, a brand new football blog run by a bunch of soccer-lovin’ guys based in Atlanta, Georgia (home to REM, as I recall UPDATED I clearly recall shit, cause it’s Athens, not Atlanta – maybe I was thinking of Outkast instead?), has been set up in honour of Pies – that’s [...]

Football365, a site I check out regularly, is calling England’s 3-0 defeat of Andorra ‘England’s worst win ever’. Help me out here, but I’m not sure how a 3-0 away win in a live qualifying match can be deemed our ‘worst win ever’ and a ‘new low’? I’d argue that England were worse in defeating [...]

This week in Haiku Corner, we try not to think too much about Steve McClaren and the England situation (it would only make us angry and f**k with our karma). Instead, we pay tribute to Super Lawrie Sanchez, Crazy Gang-member-for-life and bloody good international manager. He’s transformed (transformed, Transformer… see what we’ve done there?) Northern [...]

Healy, the Jean-Pierre Papin of Northern Ireland, has now scored nine goals in the Euro 2008 qualifying campaign (in just six games), giving his country a very realistic chance of making it to the finals next year. Here’s a vid of his brace against Sweden last night, which helped NI jump to the top of [...]

In honour of England’s man of the match… Name Alex Curran Nationality British WAG of… Liverpool captain/England saviour Steven Gerrard. The couple have two daughters and are set to marry this summer. Fame ranking 5/10 Regularly appears in the tabloids and gossip mags but hasn’t gone out of her way to court celebrity, unlike some [...]

Toni derails the Scottish bandwagon with two smart headers. See if you can make it to the end of this clip without falling asleep to the sound of Lee Dixon’s voice… Italy vs Scotland GoalsUploaded by FootballHeaven

There’s been more than enough words penned on England’s failure to break down 5-5-0 defences, but I think Andorra deserve some form of punishment for their shameful performance last night. I usually root for the plucky minnows, but Andorra’s game plan seemed to consist of physical intimidation (the elbow being a favoured weapon), time-wasting and [...]

Paul Robinson Stood around for 90 minutes watching his team-mates huff and puff in Andorra’s half. 6/10 Micah Richards Not the most stylish player but enthusiastic and got forward when he could. Stuart Pearce will be gutted that he left the pitch on a stretcher. 6/10 John Terry Found himself in some advanced positions but [...]

This lot make Cristiano Ronaldo look like Gavin McCann.

Disaster strikes! Frank Lampard is out of the Andorra game after breaking his wrist during a training session – the country owes a debt of gratitude to Wayne Rooney, whose shot struck Lamps. What we need now is for Gerrard and Hargreaves to play a blinder in central midfield and for Steve McClaren to wake [...]

If you’ve been having any problems with Pies in the last 24 hours (I know I have!), it’s almost certainly due to the fact that we’re currently in the process of switching publishing platforms. We should be fully settled in to our new shiny new home very soon, and ready to push for automatic promotion. [...]

Women of the world, wouldn’t you love it, just LOVE IT, if you could go out with the hotness that is Kevin Keegan? Just watch how he carries his blouson/jacket over his shoulder, not to mention the exemplary way he treats his lovely wife Jean…

‘Hello, David Beckham here, writing this in my LA mansion. Welcome to my Photoshop School, where talented young Photoshoppers can come, for a small (well, large actually) fee and learn proper mad skills off me, innit. This week I done a poster wiv Sean Penn and that nasty man Steve McClaren, who’s so stupid he [...]

Crooks tries to break Steve ‘Dead Man Walking’ McClaren’s spirit but the Mac’s got his game face on – you know, the one where he looks like a National Express driver emerging from his coach’s toilet after a Glasgow-to-London long-haul journey.

A random YouTube search for ‘Andorra’ threw up some Eurovision Song Contest bollocks and this memorable goal celebration by RVN. Having been taunted by Andorra’s players for missing a penalty, Ruud gets his own back in his own special (ie. childish) way.

Here’s the second part of our Ten Greatest Football Books list. You can read part one here. My Father and Other Working-class Football Heroes, by Gary ImlachLike Nick Hornby’s Fever Pitch, My Father… is more of a memoir than a straight football book. Imlach, whose face you may know from his time presenting TV coverage [...]

Health firm Herbalife are the latest business to buy into Brand Beckham after becoming the new shirt sponsors of LA Galaxy. The company flogs weight loss and nutritional products, despite a logo and name which make it seem like the friendly face of marijuana dealing! Herbalife has signed a deal worth between $3.5 million and [...]