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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Please be kind to our sponsored post The long road to Moscow. Somehow it seems the most fitting city for this showdown of Mancunian brilliance and Chelsea’s winning machine. There are generous odds on the game going to extra time or penalties. Equally there are interesting numbers on the game going to a draw after […]

Pies counters yesterday’s boring FA Cup finals with some of the greatest finals.

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Friday’s best transfer talk – truth or lies? 1. Gerard Pique to Barcelona The Manchester United defender is believed to have agreed personal terms with Barca. El Mundo Deportivo reports that the Spanish club have already agreed a four-season deal with the player’s representatives. [Talking Soccer] 2. Ricardo Carvalho to go wherever Jose Mourinho goes […]

C-Ron hints at Spanish move after Champions League final Cristiano Ronaldo says he may consider his future at the club after next week’s Champions League final – great timing C-Ron, I bet Fergie will be chuffed to hear that. “I’m happy here, but let’s see what happens after the Champions League final,” Ronaldo told Antena […]

Palermo’s slaphead must be bored with “are you that Diesel fella?” question This is almost too good for a Shit Lookalike, but we’ll take anything these days. Spotter’s badge to Marco from mCalcio, one of the best Serie A blogs out there. Seen any good Shit Lookalikes recently? Send us an email or leave a […]

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In 1990, Newcastle circumnavigated the traditional ‘should we have thin stripes or thick stripes’ debate by having both. The Toon Army still get fun poked at them for being walking barcodes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this particular kit did actually scan in the supermarket. Umbro served up this avant-garde disaster. It should have been the thick stripes all the way if you ask me!

This classic clip shows John Terry and Frank Lampard having a crafty snog on top of a double decker bus. The reporter claims: “It was the sort of day when John Terry and Frank Lampard kissed in public without a goal being scored.” Every day is that sort of day! Leather jacket-clad Lampard obviously had chills that he was concerned might be multiplying.

Pies recalls six Cup Finals that will live long in the memory for sweet FA.

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Man Yoo and Chelski unveil CL final kits Do fans actually like having to shell out for one-off, special edition commemorative shirts? If I was a Chelsea or Man Utd fan, I certainly wouldn’t want to spend the best part of £40 on a shirt that looks almost exactly the same as the one I […]

Villa’s departing defender gives souvenir shirt to 3,000 away fans Villa stalwart Olof Mellberg, who’s off to Juventus this summer, bought each Aston Villa fan a commemorative t-shirt, as a token of thanks for the support they have shown him during his Villa career, which began in 2001.

New London Mayor looks a bit like Man Utd reserve keeper Spotter’s badge to Pies reader Dan. Nice work. Seen any good Shit Lookalikes recently? Send us an email or leave a comment with your shout.

For a free £10 bet click here Cardiff are middle of the road, mid table, won 16, drawn 16, lost 14, even their FA Cup anthem Flying High entered the charts at 15. Curiously their last five games have all been won by three goals, twice for them and twice they lost and a draw […]

Today’s hotter-than-July lies… 1. Mauro Zarate to Arsenal The on-loan Birmingham star (pictured) is on the wish list of one big-four club, at least according to his agent. I guess it’s Arsenal who want him, as an Eduardo replacement. [Setanta] 2. Jonny Evans to Sunderland Roy Keane is reported to have bid £5m for United’s […]

Soccerball’s poster boy is the master of homoerotica Wooly hat and underpants, a classic look.

Big, bad, ugly anti-football club get found out in the end.

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1 The better side won without a doubt, although Rangers were much improved after the break.

After the end of thrilling, spilling Prem season, Pies dishes out its gongs Player of the season: Cristiano Ronaldo Right now, C-Ron is the Premier League. He may be half hype boy, half genius, but you can’t deny that the Portuguese Mr Vain is the most fascinating player to grace the English top flight since […]

Me me me me me, says Reading striker One’s a relegated ginger striker; the other is a Muppet. So that makes them both Muppets, I guess. (Thanks to Chringle for the suggestion.) Seen any good Shit Lookalikes recently? Send us an email or leave a comment with your shout.

First in a new series celebrating the Premier League’s biggest ingrates Hardly anyone had heard of Alex Hleb before he came to Arsenal, in 2005 – he was a nothing player, playing in Germany for a mediocre club (Stuttgart). He was pretty shit in his first season, not a lot better in his second, and […]

There’s only one Pele? Is there balls.

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1 Pele
As in Edison Arantes do Nascimento – the Pele. The Brazilian superstar-turned-corporate whore tops our list of Peles given that he is one of the greatest players to a kick a ball.

Vote on which one is most likely to happen… 1. Peter Crouch to Villareal Will Crouchinho (pictured) be playing in all-yellow next season? Perhaps, if Villareal can find £15m for the English beanpole. [KopTV] 2. David Bentley to Spurs Juande Ramos is keen on bringing Blackburn’s English star to White Hart Lane, for £15m [The […]

C-Ron loves a man with a baby face Take two Man Utd stars into the shower? Ole and C-Ron look like a couple of the fresh-faced guys you might see in a Gay Chat phoneline advert. The hand on the knee makes it all the sweeter.

The Blues’ French star is way more generous than us In a rare display of generosity, Birmingham City midfielder Olivier Kapo gifted his £30,000 Mercedes to his teenage boot boy. James McPike (pictured), a 17-year-old trainee on City’s books, was reportedly stunned when Kapo tossed him the keys – boot boys can usually expect little […]

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Premier League new boys Stoke City (didn’t expect to be typing that for the next millennium or two) are the first entrants in our revived Shit Kits feature.

Our favourite Prem lookalikes from the last season Dirk Kuyt and Rocky from Mask Petr Cech and Captain Yamato Cristiano Ronaldo and Astro Boy

Today’s tastiest Premier League morsels • Didier Drogba says he and Chelsea team-mate John Terry will be fit for the Champions League final against Manchester United in Moscow. Both were injured in Sunday’s 1-1 draw with Bolton, with Drogba hurting his knee and Terry dislocating his elbow. [BBC] • Blackburn star David Bentley is convinced […]