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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Belarusian finally gets his way Alexnder Hleb underwent a medical at Barcelona today, ahead of his £11.9m move to the Camp Nou. Unless one of Hleb’s legs falls off, the deal is in the bag. Barcelona confirmed the deal for the 27-year-old Belarusian and he arrives as Ronaldinho travels to Italy for a medical with […]

German captain weds his long-time girlfriend. We have the photos Click on the image below to view the full gallery…

Luckless Chelsea stopper interviewed in pre-season I’d forgotten what Petr ‘Lucky Man’ Cech looked like without a protective cap. Anyhoo, here’s the Czech, in bouncy mood (Czech… bouncy… oh forget it) for Chelsea TV ahead of the new season.

French trickster takes to the streets FOOT 2008 (REMI GAILLARD)Uploaded by nqtv Gaillard is a useful player (Doncaster, Sheff Wednesday and Southampton have reportedly shown an interest in signing him), but he is better known in his native France as a merry prankster: here he is making mischief with a football on the streets of […]

A few pics from the charideee game… Clarence Seedorf and Michael Ballack captained the two teams for Goal4Africa’s charity match in India recently. Seedorf’s team was called ‘Edu’ (not after the ex-Arsenal midfielder), while Ballack’s team was called ‘Cation’. No, really. Put ‘em together & what do you got? Education! (This is like Sesame Street). […]

Club Tropicana, drinks are free… Here’s Nando (aka the palest Spaniard in history), looking for all the world like George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley’s former band-mate. Mirror shades, check; tiny pastel shorts, check; crotch grab with attitude, check. [Kickette]

Putting the hot into Hotspur In which Tottenham’s hairless wonders, decked out in nothing but team-issue shorts, lark about in the sea on a team-bonding exercise. A couple more pics this way…

Now Arsenal want a piece of Villa’s captain. But which team is best for the coveted midfielder’s club career? Arsene Wenger is considering a last-ditch bid to snatch Gareth Barry from Aston Villa. Liverpool have had several offers for Barry rejected since the end of last season as Villa boss Martin O’Neill holds out for […]

Extended highlights of Man Yoo’s first pre-season friendly A few thoughts: 1. Good to see Gary Neville back in action. 2. Paul Scholes looks very fresh. 3. Great slide-rule pass from Carrick for the penalty. 4. Why were United wearing Spurs’ kit? 5. Chris Eagles’ hairstyle is baaaaaad.

The best photos from United’s 2-0 pre-season win against Aberdeen Click the image below to view the full gallery…

Rafa Benitez’s team scores narrow win in first pre-season game Stevie G and team-mates went back to school and snatched a cheeky away win against Tranmere, thanks to this sweet goal by Yossi Benayoun. Watch the goal after the jump…

… And Pepe Reina proves that he’s a bit hyperactive This is one airline I want to fly with. Usually, the cabin crew pull some very tedious air safety shit. However, Pepe “Mad Dog” Reina is not a man I’d want to be stuck on a plane with.

Athtlete + vest = 98% gayness Degen looks like one of the men who might feature in a late-night advert for a gay chat phoneline.

Her fez seems familiar For me, Fenella remains one of the scariest children’s characters ever created – something about the shrieking Welsh accent and living in a giant steam kettle, I think. Much like Fenella, Forlan has the capacity to suddenly disappear…

Barcelona star has a big old ass He may be one of the best players in the world, but little Leo Messi has a long way to go before he can take on the likes of David Beckham and Freddie Ljungberg in the underwear-modeling stakes. Argentine lingerie company Lody has signed up Messi to help […]

Spanish defender goes for gold… and fails He doesn’t fail really – we’re just getting a little tired (translation: jealous as hell) of seeing photos of footballers soaking up the sun whilst surrounded by girls in bikinis. Yes, it is raining as I write. A couple more pics of Senor Ramos coming up…

More brain pain… 1. Career path Aalesund, AS Monaco, Liverpool, Roma (current) 2. Multiple choice Which football figure controversially suggested in 2004 that female footballers should wear tighter shorts? a) Lennart Johansson, b) Rodney Marsh, c) Sepp Blatter, d) Joao Havelange 3. Picture round Who dis? 4. Get shirty Which company sponsors Real Madrid’s shirt? […]

All you need to know about Tottenham’s latest transfer target Name Luis Garcia (not to be confused with the player who sucks his thumb and used to play for Liverpool) Age 27 Nationality Spanish Club history Real Murcia, Mallorca, Espanyol (current) Position Centre-forward.

Meet Liverpool’s new defenders… Click on the image below to view the full gallery

The best transfer talent straight outta nappies

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Trotters make a pig’s ear of new shirt

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Rafa Benitez desperately needs another striker. Tell him who… Now that Peter Crouch is heading back to Portsmouth, Liverpool are looking a little thin up top. Rafa Benitez (also looking a little thin up top) thinks he has enough forward power, listing Dirk Kuyt, Ryan Babel, Andriy Voronin (hmmm) and Steven Gerrard as potential strike […]

Spurs’ new wonderboy looks a lot like Dutch legend Let’s get this SLAL out of the way before the new season begins. It’s been said before, and we’ll say it again: Modric does bear more than a passing resemblence to the great Dutchman, both physically and in terms of playing style. [Via Luka Modric fans]

Who’s headed for sunnier climes this season? 1. Mathieu Flamini (Arsenal to AC Milan) Arsene Wenger didn’t have the cash to keep Cesc’s midfield buddy at the Emirates. AC Milan stepped in with a better offer, then failed to reach the Champions League, for the first time in centuries. Arsenal fans will at least have […]

Pies tries its hand at a spot of simplistic poetry

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