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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Chelsea have six points out of six and yet they have stuttered in beating Hull and Sunderland - God help their rivals if they start playing to their potential. Darren Bent put Sunderland ahead last night to fuel hopes of a minor shock, but Chelsea got their act together in the second half. The visitors’ fightback […]

Not sure why Chelsea’s bus didn’t make it all the way into the Stadium of Light. Perhaps their driver is Deco’s dad and the little Portuguese playmaker was embarrassed: “Drop me off here Dad, I’ll walk the rest of the way. Pick me up later, same place at 10…” Always good to see professional footballers […]

EXPENSIVE Didier Drogba (Chelsea) Yes, he’s a bit of a c**t, but I still rate The Drog as the best striker in the world; only when he wants to be though. Luckily for Chelsea fans, it looks like their favourite manchild is motivated again and even fancies taking over from C-Ron as the Prem’s golden […]

Think you know who this is (click photo to enlarge)? Leave a comment with your shout. Previous answer: Guti Damn modern players with their distinctive football boots. Too easy by far.

After just one fantastic performance, Arsenal are now The Form Team in the Universe. Which means they’ll pass Celtic – an average team at best – off the park in tonight’s Champions League playoff at Parkhead, right? If only football was that simple. Parkhead on a European night is a fearsome prospect, especially when an […]

Thanks to Adam Wyszynski for the suggestion. Got a lookalike you want to see on Pies? Email me with your shout(s).

Many Villa fans are starting to wonder if Martin O’Neill is actually the managerial messiah so many people have claimed him to be. O’Neill had a very poor summer, losing some of his best players and then failing miserably to replace them.

Prof. Wenger shows off his ball skills during a training session ahead of Arsenal’s Champions League playoff against Celtic. The first leg takes place tonight in Glasgow.

From this: “Screw you, old Scotsman. Carlitos have last laugh…”

Cracking weekend to kick off the Prem. No draws, plenty of wonder goals and a couple of surprise results (Everton ship six at home!? Madness gone mad).

Most Prem footballers are vain eejuts. Not our Jimmy, who despite being a money-grabbing traitor (a Fulham fan’s view) is still the biggest character in the top flight. MORE JIMMY Shit Lookalikes: Jimmy v Queen’s Roger Taylor Jimmy cracks up during TV interview

The best photos from City’s win against Celtic at Eastlands (watch the goals – all three were rather good – here). Click the image below to launch the gallery:

Think you know who the Real Madrid star is? Leave a comment with your shout. Friday’s answer: Kieron Dyer Fair play to AlanS, thedoc, Kipp, Delboy and Kevin. You’re my guys.

Terrible moustache, Ian. Not-terrible defending, Alan Hot on the heels of the news that the Guardian “jinxed” Liverpool’s tilt at a 19th league title, Sky Sports pundit Jeff Stelling has added to the weight of the hex: “Manchester United are unquestionably weaker than last year, while Chelsea are no stronger and they are all a […]

This is where you get to pick Barca’s best starting line-up for this season. First up, I’ll reveal my selection (based on Barcelona’s squad at time of writing). No doubt Pep Guardiola will use several different formations this season but this is the default starting team I would go with: My XI (in a 4-1-2-3 […]

What do Gunn and Edmonson have in common, apart from their looks? Hmm, I’m getting the word “Bottom”… … Boom boom. Got a lookalike for Pies? Email me with your shout(s).

It’s no secret that the great majority of fantasy teams will feature either Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard (or both, if you base your team around them) in midfield. And quite right too – they score goals, they make goals, they’re never dropped. In short, they are blue-riband picks. So select them if you want. […]

Taken from this weekend’s Norwegian Cup quarter final between Odd Grenland and SK Brann: Brann keeper Hakon Opdal crocks himself as he is going to kick out the ball, then Odd striker Peter Kovacs taps the ball in the net, much to the furious anger of Brann players and fans alike. (Odd won the game […]

Quote of the day goes to Nereida Gallardo, one of C-Ron’s most skanky famous ex-WAGs. Here she is talking about Ron’s favourite underwear, a red, elephant-trunk thong:

Norwich City lost 7-1 at home to Colchester in their opening fixture in League One. It was the heaviest home defeat in the club’s 107-year history. After Colchester had gone 4-0 up, a couple of disgusted Norwich fans ran onto the pitch and threw their season tickets in Gunn’s direction. And who can blame them? […]

A couple of pics from Celtic’s friendly at Man City: Holy high-visibility jackets, Batman! That is one standout kit. There’s no danger of Celtic manager Tony Mowbray trotting out Fergie’s old “the players couldn’t see each other” excuse. Turning to the stuff that matters, City beat the Hoops 2-1, thanks to excellent goals by Gareth […]

Our good fwends at Dirty Tackle have already spotted the comic potential of Dimitar “The Continental” Berbatov – so good – I wish I’d thought of it - and now talkSPORT (ridiculous use of caps, fellas) has joined in with this clever mash-up: SUCCEED.

Pick me, pick me! Pies would LOVE IT if you spared 60 seconds out of your busy day to vote on which Premier League manager will lose his job first this season. If you do, you’ll automatically be entered into a competition to win a Premier League football shirt of your choice! Click Here to […]

Ah, it feels good to have panto villains like The Drog, Herr Ballack, Mr Chelsea and Cashley back on the radar. Ballack has already wound up every single Man Utd fan with his blatant bodycheck (or “elbow”, if you listen to United’s camp) on Patrice Evra. But I wonder which Chelsea player winds you up […]