Emmanuel ‘Evander Holyfield’ Adebayor apparently DIDN’T punch Frank ‘Looks a bit like KD Lang’ Lampard. Pity. After Arsene Wenger started spouting off and shouting "THE LINESMAN IS A BIG FAT LIAR!" to just about anyone who would listen, and then called for Fat Frank to come forward and save his striker. Lampard’s agent Steve Kutner [...]

To celebrate St David’s Day, here is a YouTube vid of one of the greatest moments in Welsh football history. Bellamy’s second-half winner at Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium gave Wales a famous victory against Italy in the Euro 2004 qualifying campaign; they still didn’t qualify for the finals though. Doh.

For the past two years, Bulgarian Man Yoo fan Marin Levidzhev (that’s not him) has been fighting in his country’s courts to have his name legally changed to ‘Manchester United’. Magistrates in Bulgaria have just ruled that he can call himself Manchester Levidzhev but not Manchester United. Which kind of defeats the object. Can he [...]

Pele is not just the ambassador for erectile dysfunction. He is also one of the greatest players who ever lived, if not the greatest. I think we’ve been avoiding Pele videos on here for fear of being too obvious… however, this video is probably the best on the web at showing his dazzling skills and [...]

Bandwagon hopping anyone? Right this way… Tony Blair has joined in the ticket pricing debate and backed calls for Premiership clubs to lower their ticket prices to make sure fans can afford to attend matches. He said countless empty seats at top-flight grounds in recent years were a clear indication that prices needed to come [...]

‘The baffled keeper can’t stop Mark Viduka…’ This tribute song to the rotund ‘Boro/Aussie hitman, written and performed by singer-songwriter Alistair Griffin, is possibly the best football song I’ve heard since New Order’s World in Motion, at least in terms of lyrics. It’s a cover of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen (and others, including Rufus Wainwright), [...]

In this Coca-Cola ad from 1982, Maradona, the most gifted cheat of all time, proves that he is also a shit actor.

In the recent incident packed Mardrid derby, something unusual happened. It involved some buttock to buttock action… and… well… I’ve no idea why. It all seems very sporting though.

I’m sure most of you have seen part one of this series. Here’s part two:

As expected, the FA have charged both Arsenal and Chelsea over this unsavoury brawl, which took place near the end of a drama-packed Carling Cup final. Arsenal’s Emmanuel Eboue (horrible little man) has been charged with violent conduct for striking Wayne Bridge (glass jaw). Emmanuel Adebayor (My Little Pony hair) has also been charged – [...]

SATURDAYFulham v Man UtdLawro: 0-2Pies: 1-1Actual: 1-2 (damn you Ronaldo!) Charlton v West HamLawro: 2-1Pies: 1-1Actual: 4-0

Name Martina ColombariNationality ItalianWAG of… Alessandro Costacurta, AC Milan’s veteran centre-back. Costa is now 40 years old and he’s still registered as a player, although this will almost certainly be his last seasonFame ranking 7/10 – Not well-known in the UK, but she is very big news in her native Italy; she’s a former Miss [...]

Ladies and gents, we have a new Lester Piggott. Tax irregularities are now known as ‘doing a Guus Hiddink‘ now that the Russia football manager has been handed a six-month suspended sentence and fined £30,000 after being found guilty of tax evasion. The 60-year-old Dutchman was accused of evading more than £900,000 (bloody hell!) in [...]

Do you want to see a goal that my mate alerted me too? His words were "this is well ace!" It’s a recent goal by Saint Etienne against PSG, and in fairness, the only way to describe it is WELL ACE! Pick that out!

News reaches us that Premiership chairmen are going to be forced into cutting ‘obscene’ ticket prices because fans have just about had enough of being the victims of daylight robbery every weekend, and as a result, football has reached a tipping point. Two top-flight chairmen have expressed the same view, both of whom predict price [...]

Do you want to know how to win a match with skill, guile and drama? Check out Martin Palermo’s 94th minute winner for Boca Juniors versus Independiente. Now that’s how you win a match!

Rather unsurprising news this, but QPR have been charged by the FA after the fracas against the China under 10′s Olympic side ended up with blood spillage and a smashed up jaw. QPR have been charged with misconduct after the friendly match against the Chinese side and assistant boss Richard Hill, who has been suspended [...]

Confucius he say, ‘Name go in book…’

Q: Who put the ‘ouch’ in Crouch? A: Blades striker Rob Hulse, whose stray boot connected with the blonde giraffe’s face during Liverpool’s 4-0 defeat of Sheffield United on Staurday. There goes Peter’s catwalk career… The injury to Crouch was the only downer of the game for Liverpool, although I’ve read several reports claiming that [...]

Roughly 14 seconds in to this video, watch Stevie G go down and win one of the softest penalties I’ve seen this season. Very poor show Steven.

Bad hair, big ankles, brilliant goalscorer – that just about sums up Sparky.

Indisputable evidence that Ronaldinho is following in the footsteps of Ronaldo. (First pic taken in November 2003, the second after Liverpool’s 2-1 win last Wednesday.) He must have put on at least a stone of fat in that time. Is this what happens when you believe your own hype?

I bet Frank is delighted that his bestest mate JT is feeling better. How would he cope without him?

Greavsie hypnotises a lovable little dog, which then pisses on his shirt. Simple.

We’ve already featured a fair bit of Fantasy Football on here, but there really doesn’t need to be an excuse to post more. Check this video out, and watch Ray Stubbs singing Peter N’Lurve at the close. Genius. [Mof Gimmers]