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Who ate all the pies

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YOU decide who is the best footballer on the planet Vote for me! Vote for me! Nothing gets football fans going as much as the question, “Who’s the best player in the world?” So let’s stop all this idle pub chat and sort it out… Pies is proud(ish) to announce the first ever “Best Player […]

Who’s the most improved player of all? Find out below… 5. Glen Johnson (Portsmouth) With the confidence gained from a few good outings in an England shirt (Fabio Capello rates him, it’s clear), Johnson has been the stand-out player in a decidedly lame Portsmouth defence. There is a new composure and maturity to his game. […]

Who’s kicked on in 08/09? Here’s who… 10. Alex Song (Arsenal) Not so long ago, many Gooners wondered what Arsene Wenger saw in the young Cameroonian midfielder. But after a string of impressive performances in the second half of this season, Song has leapfrogged Denilson and Abou Diaby in the contest to be Cesc Fabregas’ […]

C-Ron doesn’t fear Fergie’s hairdryer, clearly Cristiano Ronaldo Moody Moment Against City – The best bloopers are here Quite unbelievable really. Can you imagine any other player doing this in front of Fergie? Normally it would mean career suicide, and a one-way ticket out of Old Trafford, but because Ronaldo is so valuable to United, […]

Reading defender goes berserk in Championship play-off After being sent off for a terrible stamp on Burnley’s Robbie Blake, Reading’s Andre Bikey went loco, tearing off his shirt and stampeding around the pitch in a manner that made Didier Drogba’s rant seem tame.

City’s Arab connections pay off again Man City’s new 2009/10 kit is worth a cool £45million. Next week the club will announce a £30m shirt sponsorship deal with Air Etihad, set to run for four seasons. Umbro will also take over from Le Coq Sportif as City’s shirt manufacturer. That deal is worth £15m, also […]

Arsenal lose again, Chelsea bounce back In the wake of Tom Henning Ovrebo-Gate, I thought Chelsea might suffer more when it came to this battle of the Champions League losers, but I was way wrong. Guus Hiddink’s team came to north London and stuffed Arsenal on their own patch, to cap a truly crappy week […]

The title race is over folks Nice one Sparky, your boys could have tried a bit harder than that. I guess that sums up the thoughts of Rafa Benitez today. His Liverpool side keep on winning, but can’t get any closer to United, who also keep on doing the business. Touché.

Pies dusts off the old crystal ball… SATURDAY Blackburn v Portsmouth: Both teams are in a decent position to avoid relegation (Rovers are six points off the drop zone, while Pompey have a seven-point cushion), so a draw here will do nicely for Big Sam and Pingu’s old man. 0-0 Bolton v Sunderland: A huge, […]

Pies 2.0 has its own Twitter profile, of course. It’s the craze that’s sweeping the webnet, so I’m told by @StephenFry.

Loving this guy’s work…

… But Man Utd midfielder will still miss the final Uefa will discuss Darren Fletcher’s red card, which at least gives some hope to the Scot, who is currently suspended from the Champions League final. An official Uefa statement confirmed that they “received a submission from Manchester United FC concerning the red card shown to […]

You like? According to the worldwide internet web, this is Chelsea’s new away shirt for next season. It looks rather 1980s to me (I could see Kerry Dixon wearing it), which is no surprise given that the 80s revival currently in full swing. Leaked images of Chelsea’s third kit have also been spaffed all over […]

Two scary men, but in very different ways If you don’t watch The Wire, a) you should, absolutely (it’s amazingly good), and b) for the purposes of this post, you might want to know that Partlow (played by Nigerian-American actor Gbenga Akinnagbe) is a hitman for a ruthless drug dealer. Whereas Essien is just a […]

Werder Bremen reach Uefa Cup final, thanks partly to bizarre bobble Damn that pesky “papierkugel”! Hamburger SV, quarter-final conquerors of Manchester City, were on course to make the Uefa Cup final, but fate intervened, in the form of a scrunched up ball of paper. Just as Hamburg defender Michael Gravgaard was about to hoof the […]

RTE pundits > all other pundits As ever, RTE’s excellent gang of football experts shame the likes of Messrs Lawrenson, Townsend and Claridge. Favourite moment: when Souey asks Dunphy which clubs he has managed. Bold chat there, Graeme - your managerial track record isn’t very good. More classic Dunphy: Calling BBC pundits “clowns” Slagging off Cristiano […]

Everton fans 1, all other fans 0 Let’s hear it for Everton fans, who have taken to singing about their left-back Leighton Baines, to the tune of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” (written by Simon about actor Warren Beatty). It goes a little something like this: “Leighton Baines, I bet you think this song is […]

Chelsea striker apologises for sweary rant In a statement on Chelsea’s official website, Mad Drog said: “I was very upset at what happened during the game, but having seen the pictures on TV I accept that I overreacted. “I also accept that the language I used did not set a good example for those watching […]

So say Barcelona Ever the gent, Mr JT visited the away dressing room after last night’s CL semi final and shook hands with every single Barcelona player, as well as each member of their coaching staff, including head coach Pep “Young Mourinho” Guardiola. “I want to thank John Terry for coming into the dressing room […]

Some lovely links for your mouse 1. Disturbing image of the day: Keano and canine assistant [@ Guardian Gallery] 2. Chelsea sniffing around Assmann. No, really. [@ The Spoiler] 3. Florent Malouda’s hair is a problem. [@ Kickette] 4. The Spanish press react to Barcelona’s Champions League triumph [@ Guardian Sport Blog]

Who will win the battle of the Champions League bridesmaids? Someone got busy on Photoshop. A smug Man Utd fan, perhaps? [Thanks to Jamironad for the tip] Seen any more funny football virals? Drop me a line, Pies would love to hear from you

This one will run and run So here’s the original GIF, in which Ballack hounds the ref after his penalty appeal was turned down. And click below to see the GIFtastic fun that some people are having with Ballack and Tom Henning Ovrebo. Highly recommended…

Vote below, simple as that Were Chelsea robbed?(answers)

I love the smell of irony in the morning

Even semi-final heartbreak has a funny side Ballack Hill V Benny Hill Theme 2009 – Funny blooper videos are here Definitely one of my favourite moments of this season. Ballack’s attempt to harrass the ref without actually laying a finger on him is world-class. [Spotted on 101GreatGoals]