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Who ate all the pies

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Marvel at the versatility of David’s tresses. Via The Offside

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And you thought Steve McClaren would never win any silverware! The former England coach has picked up the Plain English Campaign’s annual foot in mouth award.

Nothing new there, you might think. The interesting difference on this occasion is that it has emerged that Benitez himself has given the video a critique after [EGO ALERT] searching for himself on YouTube.

December 1998 A parachutist in a Santa Claus costume is stretchered away after crashing into the Trinity Road Stand during his descent, breaking both his legs and falling 100 feet onto the perimeter track during halftime in the FA Carling Premiership match between Aston Villa and Arsenal at Villa Park. Photo Clive Brunskill /Allsport

The perils of being a cameraman at a live sporting event… Anyone know which country this might have come from? Australia maybe?

The awful behaviour of Emmanuel Eboue got me thinking: Which player are you embarrassed to see wearing the beloved shirt of the team you support? As a Spurs fan, I’d nominate Hossam Ghaly, who doesn’t seem to value the Tottenham shirt at all – the fact he’s shit doesn’t help. Nominations please…

It had to happen, didn’t it – the appearance of a WAGs’ fitness DVD in a bargain bin near you. The ‘superstar’ WAGs in question are ex-glamour model Nicola Tappenden (currently the WAG of Leeds United’s Simon Walton, and former squeeze of West Ham hitman Bobby Zamora), Melissa Johnson (Cardiff City’s Roger Johnson) and Lisa Munday […]

This video rather neatly wraps up some of the funniest own goals into a handy five-minute video.

Urawa Red Diamonds celebrate after defeating Iran’s Sepahan in their FIFA Club World Cup match at Aichi’s Toyota Stadium on December 10, 2007. Urawa’s 3-1 win saw them progress to the semi finals, where they meet AC Milan; the European champions have been given a bye into the last four. Photo Koji Watanabe/Getty Images

20060626113026.jpgAlan Hansen is about the only decent football pundit the BBC has, and he’s been doing the job for more than a decade; Mark Lawrenson is a poor man’s Hansen, but he’s not as bad as the rest of them, who make up a sorry collection of the bland – Lee Dixon and Gavin Peacock, to name two charisma-free ex-players – and the incompetent.

scarf%20toffs.JPGYou can make sure your neck doesn’t get too chilly as you tuck into your prawn sandwich with one of the classy football scarves from Savile Rogue. Despite providing that old school terrace look, the scarves are probably a bit less itchy than the one your dad used to wear to the match.

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Seriously, I know Eboue wasn’t in our poll of most hated players in the Prem, but he really should have been. An oversight on our part.
The Ivorian might have been sent off twice over against Middlesbrough at the weekend. Once for a double-slap to the face of Emanuel Pogatetz (he connected with the second slap), twice for a deliberate raking of Stewart Downing’s thigh that could have resulted in a serious injury.

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As this video shows, Crissy Ronaldo blatantly cheated to win a penalty against Derby County on Saturday – let’s ignore the fact he got up and took the penalty, when a selfish player would have allowed Carlos Tevez the chance to get a well-deserved hat-trick; the fact is, he conned the ref. All well and good in such a one-sided game, you might say, but that’s not the point. Imagine the furore if it had happened against Arsenal or Chelsea.

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It is as you were at the top of La Liga. Real Madrid remain four points ahead of second-placed Barcelona as both sides picked up three points at the weekend. Ruud Van Nistelrooy’s goal gave Real a 1-0 win over Athletic Bilbao, while Barcelona came from behind to beat Deportivo La Coruna 2-1.

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HEROES
Sulley Muntari Scored just about the sexiest pair you are likely to see this season against Aston Villa.

old%20man%20football.jpgPies presents eleven players who were given names more suited to the pension queue than the Premier League:

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Lyon have been confirmed as champions of Ligue 1 by the coach of their nearest rivals. In the wake Lyon’s emphatic 5-0 win over Strasbourg and his side’s 2-1 defeat at Le Mans, Nancy coach Pablo Correa said: “Obviously, we can’t catch them now. I never thought we could anyway.”

As promised yesterday, part two of our top football moments of this year continues below… (check out part one) 10 Ricardinho’s worst corner ever Hilarious proof that even Brazilian footballers aren’t infallible when it comes to a good blooper. Read the rest of the list after the click…

1 Hartlepool United, Liverpool, West Ham, Sheffield United, Everton, Sunderland, West Ham, Millwall, Coventry City, Luton Town (current). Whose career? 2 Only two players have scored for both Liverpool and Everton in the Merseyside derby. David Johnson and who else? 3 Sports Minister Richard Caborn supports which English club? 4 At what stage of the […]

78246212.jpgThe Guardian has a story today that made me chuckle: Rafa Benitez has apparently told his Liverpool players that they can’t stay up until the small hours to watch Ricky Hatton’s boxing title fight against Floyd Mayweather – the fight is scheduled to begin at 4am this Sat/Sun morning. Spoilsport!

‘I played for four years in Belgium and they hate me!’ Didier Zakora, Spurs midfielder Zakora, not the most popular player in Belgium for some reason, was apparently hit by a cigarette lighter thrown from the crowd and had to receive treatment. Paul Robinson picked up a metal bar from the pitch and handed it […]

March 1995 A knackered-looking Steve Bruce tries to keep up with Robbie Fowler during the Premiership match between Liverpool and Man Utd at Anfield in the 1994/95 season. Photo Shaun Botterill/ALLSPORT

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Colchester United have taken extreme measures to encourage fans to comply with no-smoking legislation. The club’s stadium announcer has been threatening supporters tempted by a crafty fag that they will be forced to listen to the music of Will Young.

He has been dubbed football’s answer to Billy Elliott and a Napoleon Dynamite lookalike. Blackburn’s mystery male cheerleader is known only as ‘Andrew’. He has developed a cult internet following after his appearance on Match of the Day at the weekend. Here he is dancing his socks off during Rovers’ match against Aston Villa.

Cristiano Ronaldo indulges in a spot of fancy Dan-ing on the set of a Pro Evo photoshoot only to be shown up by a teaboy with skills!