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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Carlos Bianchi is the coach of Boca Juniors. Larry David is the co-creator of Seinfeld and the brains behind the brilliant Curb Your Enthusiasm. Pretty… pretttty… pretttttttty good work by Andres Lopez. Thanks for the suggestion, Andres. Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email me with your nomination(s).

I don’t remember the Backstreet Boys having this many members. [Photo: PA] At ESPN’s annual sports awards (like the Oscars for sport in the States), the US men’s national team won the ‘Upset’ award, for their overperformance at the 2009 Confederations Cup. It’s a good sign that ‘soccer’ is starting to edge into the mainstream […]

Ah, I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning. Enjoy… Looks like a dive to me. Yellow card, at least, for that. (Btw, this looks like it could be very old, but I’ve not seen it before.) One to watch again and again.

Summer lovin’, happened so fast… This from the puckered mouth of Chelsea’s chief suit, Peter Kenyon: “I don’t know what they [City] are offering but I’m confident John is going to remain with us. John is a talisman, he’s the heart of Chelsea, he came through our academy, he’s our captain and he’s also become […]

La Gazzetta dello Sport claims that a delegation from Liverpool has arrived in Rome this morning to offer around €16m for the services of Alberto Aquilani. The highly rated Italian playmaker is a potential replacement for Xabi Alonso, who seems intent on a switch to Real Madrid.

Textbook counter-attack topped off with a sparkling finish. Shame about Paraiba’s horror hair though.

Liverpool drew a blank in the opening match of their pre-season tour of Switzerland and Austria. The result won’t bother Rafa Benitez, who fiddled extensively with his line-up - he made 11 substitutions at half-time! – and also had to make do without his Spanish contingent (still on holiday after the exertions of the Confederations Cup). […]

Like a Geoff Thomas shot, musical parodies often miss the mark – but this works perfectly, not just because Mark Viduka’s name fits the chorus to Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ perfectly, but because it’s funny that anyone would choose such an inconsistent, mercurial player as Viduka to song-worship.

By the power of Greyskull, who the hell is this? (Click image to enlarge). If you think you know, leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday’s answer: Florent Malouda Yep, it was little Malouda. Well done to those of you who didn’t fall for my cunning Ashley Cole-shaped trap.

Just picked this up from one of the sports journos I follow on Twitter (Steve Anglesey @ the Mirror) and thought you should hear it too: Gary Neville alleged to have introduced Mickey Owen to Danny Wellbeck at Carrington thus: “This is Danny. He’s 18 and HE’S won the league.” Ha, that would be just […]

John Terry, aged 19, in action for Nottm Forest in April 2000. [Photo: PA] Aw, bless - look at his gormless chav face. Sweet. Mr JT spent a brief period on loan at Forest in 2000 - it certainly looks strange to see him in a red shirt.

Rather than hire a sexy beauty queen to show off your new kit (as Linfield did), West Ham Utd turned to celeb fan Ray Winstone (aka Ray, 52, from Essex) to show off its new Umbro home kit (that or Matty Upson really piled on the pounds)… Ray told WHTV: “This is beautiful, it is […]

The hair, the hair! Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email me with your shout. Thanks for all of the ones you guys have already sent in. I will get around to posting up the best ones in the next couple of weeks. But keep ‘em coming…

Crouchinho, an artist’s impression… @ Fulham: @ Sunderland: @ Spurs: (Yes, my PhotoShop skills are strong today.) I’ve read reports that Sunderland have agreed a £12m fee with Pompey for Crouchy. I’ve also heard that the player himself would rather go to Fulham or Spurs, but that Fulham might not be able to match his […]

Emmanuel Adebayor is off to Man City, barring a problem with his work permit; and as that wasn’t a problem for him when he joined Arsenal, it should be fine this time around. Arsenal will get around £25m for the striker, which seems like a fair price. I think Adebayor has the potential to be […]

Danny Dichio now plays for Toronto FC in MLS. He is a cult hero of Toronto’s fans, much as he was at QPR, Sunderland and indeed most of the clubs he’s played for. That’s how Danny rolls - fans love his whole-hearted play, which he combines with a large dollop of humility. He’s made the most […]

This screenshot compares the new faces of Liverpool players for Konami’s Pro Evolution Soccer 2010 with those in the previous version. All of the faces are more realistic, with the exception of Stevie G, who looks like he has bad AIDS. Torres looks spookily like the real thing, and they’ve got Carragher’s furrowed forehead spot-on. […]

It’s fairly safe to say that Stewart Downing is on his way to the Villa, for a reported fee of £12m. For all those fans who slag off Downing - there is something of the victim about him that makes him an easy target - they should remember that Glen Johnson cost £18m… Villa and Downing will […]

Latest on the JT situation: Man City boss Mark Hughes has gone public in his pursuit of Mr Chelsea, by saying that the player would benefit from a ‘change of scenery’ (not to mention a massive pay rise). Sparky said: “We would like to think we could offer John a different challenge. He’s been at […]

Hot, fresh pics of Tevez at Eastlands this afternoon. He and Sparky make a lovely couple… Click on the image to launch the gallery:

Real Madrid are currently on a pre-season tour of Ireland. Pies has some exclusive pics of His Royal Highness Cristiano Ronaldo in training for you to gawp at… Click on the image to launch the gallery [Photos: PA]:

Think you know who the ball-faced footballer is? (Click image to enlarge) Leave a comment with your answer. Yesterday’s answer: Gilles Grimandi Many different Arsenal players were named, but only a couple of you got it right. Richie B was the first reader to nail it. As he said, ‘something about the sleeves is saying […]

A simple vote, just because I’d be interested to see which fans ‘win’. (I know who my money is on, just as I know who I’d vote for - every time - but I won’t say just now.) So let it out… which team’s fans do you find the most irritating, self-righteous, idiotic etc? Vote below: Which of […]

The A is for my authority, which many players seem to question, thinking they’re somehow going to make me change my mind. B is for babies, which a lot of managers cry like after a decision has not gone their way. C is for the continual criticism I recieve from the touchline - get back in […]

Hadouken! Pub quiz ammo: Ken’s surname is Masters. Got a shit lookalike for Pies? Email me now with your shout.