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Who ate all the pies

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Pies compiles a team of players who are Shit Lookalikes of the FA Cup.
1 Richard Wright
That is one way for a keeper to make sure he can reach the top corner.

There’s nothing in the football rule book that says you can’t score with your back. Via 101GreatGoals

Saturday’s Premier League game between Spurs and Man United didn’t seem like the dirty game that a total of 10 yellow cards suggests it was. And, since United picked up seven of those cards, much to Fergie’s dissatisfaction of course, the club have incurred an automatic £25,000 fine.

Both strikers are playing their parts in the transfer window’s most protracted saga – Portsmouth sold Benjani to Man City to fund a deal to bring Defoe from Spurs, but it now seems that Defoe is only on loan while ‘complications’ have prevented the Zimbabwean from joining City.

Half-time at a football match in Holland (can anyone tell me what ground it is?) and out come the freaks… losers on the Dutch version of Pop Idol, to be specific. This clip is a couple of years old, but I’ve never posted it before for some mysterious reason. Always cracks me up.

It’s clear that Ivory Coast are by far the strongest team at the Africa Cup of Nations. They destroyed Guinea 5-0 in the quarter finals, and will surely get past either Angola or Egypt in the semis. The only man who can stop them from lifting the trophy is… Michael Essien. He has dragged Ghana […]

Oh, how I wish this story were true. Alas, I don’t think even Goldenballs’ balls are that big… Spotted on The Spoiler

Thanks to reader John Rain for this bizarre spot – they must share the same barber. I’ve never seen Nightbreed, and now I don’t think I ever will… this Peloquin character looks scary. More shit lookalikes

79494592.jpgFootball is a team game, but it’s amazing how much of an effect one individual can have on his ten team-mates. Witness Jimmy Bullard’s match-winning performance for Fulham against Aston Villa at Craven Cottage yesterday afternoon. His return from a long-term injury has lifted everyone at the club; it’s no coincidence that Fulham struggled in Bullard’s absence.

La Liga table-toppers Real Madrid suffered a surprise 2-0 defeat at Almeria allowing Barcelona to reduce their lead to six points. Barca almost blew their golden opportunity though, and only a Xavi goal two minutes from time secured victory at home to Osasuna.

Francesco Totti floats like a butterfly and stings like a mildly irritating nettle. The frustrated Roma skipper was desperate to retrieve the ball from Siena’s former Arsenal keeper Alex Manninger during his side’s 3-0 defeat. He unleashed this barrage of punches at Manninger, which (if you watch carefully) actually causes the Austrian international to blink at one point.

Jimmy Bullard – Welcome back, Jimmy. The Fulham man marked his return from 16 months out injured with a match-winning free-kick against Aston Villa.

Perhaps the biggest surprise from the announcement of Fabio Capello’s first England squad is the exclusion of a certain international brand name – but there are also a few faces that made it into the squad that we didn’t expect to see.


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

February 1st, 2008

1. Career path Piacenza, S.C. Leffe, Hellas Verona, Piacenza, Parma, Atalanta, Juventus, AC Milan (current) 2. True or false? Chelsea’s stadium, Stamford Bridge, is not located in the London borough of Kensington and Chelsea 3. Picture round Who’s having a laugh? 4. Team-mates Dan Petrescu, Mark Hughes, Kevin Keegan and Eyal Berkovic have all played […]

Out-of-sorts Marseille thrashed Caen 6-1 to show they might finally be ready to start the season. A Djibril Cisse hat-trick, a Mathieu Valbuena brace and (simple maths dictates) a solitary goal from Samir Nasri gave Marseille victory, although Caen took the lead just two minutes into the match. Caen remain three places about ninth-placed Marseille in the table, which probably helps to explain just how bad L’OM have been so far this campaign.

Thierry Henry and Carles ‘scary face’ Puyol celebrate Henry’s match-winning goal during the Copa del Rey match between FC Barcelona and Villarreal at the Camp Nou Stadium on 31 January 31, 2008. Barca won the tie 1-0 on aggregate and progress to the semi finals. Lionel Messi had a second-half penalty (wrongly awarded after Bojan […]

Earlier, I posted the 10 best signings in the Jan. transfer window. Here are the 10 worst… 1. Jari Litmanen (to Fulham) What is ‘Woy’ Hodgson on? Litmanen is almost 37, without a club (until now), and I strongly doubt if he’s ready for a full-on relegation scrap. He may give Fulham fans 10 minutes […]

Here’s how I see the best bits of business conducted in the January transfer window…
1. Jermain Defoe (Spurs to Portsmouth) Did Spurs sell the wrong striker? I think they should have kept Defoe and ditched Darren Bent, but Juande Ramos is a successful football manager, and I am not, so I’ll trust him on this one. Defoe is a terrific addition to a deceptively strong Pompey squad.
2. Alan Hutton (Rangers to Spurs) Some Scottish grit is just what Tottenham’s defence needed. Hutton offers that, and more – he has been compared with Cafu, Brazil’s Duracell bunny, and loves to bomb forward. At 23 he can only get better.
3. Nicolas Anelka (Bolton to Chelsea) I wasn’t sure how Anelka would find life at Stamford Bridge – does he play his best surrounded by stars or journeymen? – but he looks happy there, so far anyway. There’s no doubting Anelka’s class. Defenders will not look forward to the prospect of facing an Anelka/Drogba strike force.
4. Manucho (Petro Luanda to Man Utd) Based on his dynamic performances for Angola at the Africa Cup of Nations, Fergie (or his scouts) has unearthed another star of the future. Manucho is a tall, rangy striker with enough skill to play out wide. He’s being shipped out to Panathinaikos for the rest of the season to gain experience. One to watch.

Morocco fans fuming from their country’s African Cup of Nations elimination have hacked into the tournament’s official website. The Ghana 2008 website’s fixture page now features three Moroccan-themed images and a message which reads: “Because of your STUPID Arbitration,You Got Punished By Moroccan Hackers, Revenge Token for The Lions.”

This goal for Serie D outfit Venafro might not have come on the world stage as some of his father’s best efforts, but Diego’s bastard offspring still knows how to find the net. The Argentinian legend initially disputed the paternity of his Italian-born son but the DNA evidence shows he is, and this video makes it conclusive!

Yesterday’s bore-fest of a transfer deadline day could be the last of its kind. Now everyday is transfer deadline day! That is a slight exaggeration, but a landmark ruling by the Court of Arbitration of Sport yesterday has changed the face of football completely. While the nation was busy keeping tabs on Grzegorz Rasiak’s switch from Southampton to Bolton, the Court ruled that former Hearts player Andy Webster could buy out his contract and move to Wigan Athletic.

With Liverpool losing to West Ham last night, that all-important fourth place spot is looking further away than ever for Benitez’s boys – they are now languishing in seventh with Everton in the final Champions League spot.
All those fans who protesting to keep Rafa in a job might be wishing they had never put those banners together now. And, by the look of this picture, the pressure seems to be taking its toll on the beleaguered manager.

With only a few hours left before the transfer window closes for the rest of the season, it’s time to take stock of some of the mid-season signings that have been made to either strengthen a title challenge or stave off relegation.

I have to agree with Ronaldo that his free-kick against Pompey last night is the best goal he’s ever scored (watch it here). It’s rare to see a ball struck so viciously, so accurately and so purely. Here’s a video compilation of 10 of his best goals. None of them is as good as the […]

By Lee Coan, Editor, Chelsea Pies It’s been a strange couple of weeks at Chelsea, what with the Africa Cups of Nations, injuries and heart ache (‘Don’t leave me Cheryl! I slipped and it fell in her! Don’t leave meeeeeee!’). Avram Grant has barely had eleven players to pick. And when you consider that one […]