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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Now Arsenal want a piece of Villa’s captain. But which team is best for the coveted midfielder’s club career? Arsene Wenger is considering a last-ditch bid to snatch Gareth Barry from Aston Villa. Liverpool have had several offers for Barry rejected since the end of last season as Villa boss Martin O’Neill holds out for […]

Extended highlights of Man Yoo’s first pre-season friendly A few thoughts: 1. Good to see Gary Neville back in action. 2. Paul Scholes looks very fresh. 3. Great slide-rule pass from Carrick for the penalty. 4. Why were United wearing Spurs’ kit? 5. Chris Eagles’ hairstyle is baaaaaad.

The best photos from United’s 2-0 pre-season win against Aberdeen Click the image below to view the full gallery…

Rafa Benitez’s team scores narrow win in first pre-season game Stevie G and team-mates went back to school and snatched a cheeky away win against Tranmere, thanks to this sweet goal by Yossi Benayoun. Watch the goal after the jump…

… And Pepe Reina proves that he’s a bit hyperactive This is one airline I want to fly with. Usually, the cabin crew pull some very tedious air safety shit. However, Pepe “Mad Dog” Reina is not a man I’d want to be stuck on a plane with.

Athtlete + vest = 98% gayness Degen looks like one of the men who might feature in a late-night advert for a gay chat phoneline.

Her fez seems familiar For me, Fenella remains one of the scariest children’s characters ever created – something about the shrieking Welsh accent and living in a giant steam kettle, I think. Much like Fenella, Forlan has the capacity to suddenly disappear…

Barcelona star has a big old ass He may be one of the best players in the world, but little Leo Messi has a long way to go before he can take on the likes of David Beckham and Freddie Ljungberg in the underwear-modeling stakes. Argentine lingerie company Lody has signed up Messi to help […]

Spanish defender goes for gold… and fails He doesn’t fail really – we’re just getting a little tired (translation: jealous as hell) of seeing photos of footballers soaking up the sun whilst surrounded by girls in bikinis. Yes, it is raining as I write. A couple more pics of Senor Ramos coming up…

More brain pain… 1. Career path Aalesund, AS Monaco, Liverpool, Roma (current) 2. Multiple choice Which football figure controversially suggested in 2004 that female footballers should wear tighter shorts? a) Lennart Johansson, b) Rodney Marsh, c) Sepp Blatter, d) Joao Havelange 3. Picture round Who dis? 4. Get shirty Which company sponsors Real Madrid’s shirt? […]

All you need to know about Tottenham’s latest transfer target Name Luis Garcia (not to be confused with the player who sucks his thumb and used to play for Liverpool) Age 27 Nationality Spanish Club history Real Murcia, Mallorca, Espanyol (current) Position Centre-forward.

Meet Liverpool’s new defenders… Click on the image below to view the full gallery

The best transfer talent straight outta nappies

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Trotters make a pig’s ear of new shirt

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Rafa Benitez desperately needs another striker. Tell him who… Now that Peter Crouch is heading back to Portsmouth, Liverpool are looking a little thin up top. Rafa Benitez (also looking a little thin up top) thinks he has enough forward power, listing Dirk Kuyt, Ryan Babel, Andriy Voronin (hmmm) and Steven Gerrard as potential strike […]

Spurs’ new wonderboy looks a lot like Dutch legend Let’s get this SLAL out of the way before the new season begins. It’s been said before, and we’ll say it again: Modric does bear more than a passing resemblence to the great Dutchman, both physically and in terms of playing style. [Via Luka Modric fans]

Who’s headed for sunnier climes this season? 1. Mathieu Flamini (Arsenal to AC Milan) Arsene Wenger didn’t have the cash to keep Cesc’s midfield buddy at the Emirates. AC Milan stepped in with a better offer, then failed to reach the Champions League, for the first time in centuries. Arsenal fans will at least have […]

Pies tries its hand at a spot of simplistic poetry

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A selection of photos from Saturday’s $1m dead-ball competition Click on the photo below to launch the gallery…

Bringing yesteryear’s sticker album randoms into the 21st century

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Give this guy a medal… and a kebab At first it looks like referee Sergey Shmolik was having back trouble. But then all became clear: Mr Shmolik had enjoyed something a little stiffer than a cup of tea at half-time of a Belarusian league match he was in charge of (FC Naftan vs FC Vitebsk, […]

Word to Ron: baggy clothes don’t hide the fact you’re out of shape Here’s Fat-Ron at a recent charity event in Sao Paulo, looking more like a goofy cartoon character than a world-class athlete. Such a shame that he decided – consciously or not – to waste his massive potential. Now he’s just potentially massive […]

In which Frank reveals he broke a treadmill because he was too fat fast Stalker alert, stalker alert. [Via The Spoiler & 101 Great Goals]

Today’s hottest news, rumours and lies have a three-chilli rating Aston Villa are very close (medical permitting) to signing Chelsea misfit Steve Sidwell (pictured) for £5m, as direct replacement for outgoing captain Gareth Barry. Who wants to point out to Martin O’Neill that Sidwell is nowhere near as good as Barry… [BBC] More after the […]

Uefa Cup to get shiny makeover. Yawn The UEFA Cup is set to undergo a dreaded re-branding in a bid to raise the competition’s profile, according to Bayern Munich chief Karl-Heinz Rummenigge. The ex-German international is the chairman of the new European Club Association, a 15-man board which has replaced the defunct G14. (Incidentally, Chelsea’s […]