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Who ate all the pies

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A team of Euro 2008 players who have caught the eye

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Gianluigi Buffon (Italy)
His wonderful performances kept Italy in the competition longer than they deserved. Buffon gets the nod although it could have been Iker Casillas (he just had less to do in the tournament).

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1. It is not always the case that the team which has played the best football wins a major tournament wins it, but it was on this occasion. Spain have been the best team from start to finish and they deserved their victory.

The BBC has cottoned on to what the rest of us have known for some time: John Motson has lost his marbles. Motty is being pensioned off after tonight’s Euro 2008 final. As he hangs up the famous sheepskin coat, Pies recalls some of his finest moments.


Which unsung stars added a nought to their value after good showings in Austria & Switzerland? 1. Orlando Engelaar (Holland) One of only two Dutch players to start all of Holland’s four games, the giant midfielder impressed with his strength, discipline and passing range. He’d make a good addition to any Premier League club. Where […]

Hleb, Flamini, Diarra and possibly Adebayor off to pastures new? Why do Arsenal’s best players want to leave? Here are a few reasons why… 1. A rigid wage structure Rightly or wrongly, Arsenal has a wage structure that it’s not prepared to mess with. In theory, that’s a good thing – if every other club […]

With Euro 2008 reaching final fever pitch, why not take part in your own football game this Sunday? At 11.00am on Sunday 29th June dads and their kids all over the country will be grabbing a ball and kicking it around for a nationwide BIG KICK. Get involved wherever you are or come along to […]

Pit your wits against our final Euro-themed quiz 1. Career path Servette, Tenerife, Hansa Rostock, Bayer Leverkusen, Borussia Mönchengladbach (current) 2. Multiple choice Before David Villa’s hat-trick against Russia, who was the last man to score a hat-trick in a European Championship finals? a) Michel Platini, b) Patrick Kluivert, c) Marco van Basten, d) Milan […]

Togolese striker to turn his back on Arsenal? Adebayor is “80 per cent” an AC Milan player, according to one of his agents, Vincenzo Morabito. “Arsenal are looking for Adebayor’s replacement. Until that search is over, the negotiations won’t reach the final stage, but I am fairly optimistic,” Morabito said on Italian TV show Studio […]

The best pics from last night’s one-sided semi More below…

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It looks like Luis Aragones was once again using his own unique brand of motivation to propel Spain past Russia and into the final.

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1. Sexy football from Spain. They didn’t do anything special in the first-half, but once they got their goal they were stylish, elegant and brilliant to watch. Just what we had hoped to see more of after they had thrashed Russia in their opening match.

Today’s hottest football gossip, brought to you by the number nine 1. Richard Dunne to Portsmouth Man City’s captain is in the final year of his contract, and Portsmouth are very keen to tempt the player to south, according to the Manchester Evening News. Dunne is currently on holiday but other reports suggest that he […]

Prem appoints youngest ever ref You know you’re getting old when policemen and doctors are younger than you. I thought I was safe with Premier League refes though. Not any more. The Prem has just appointed 25-year-old Stuart Attwell to its list of elite officials, making him the youngest ever top-flight ref in England. That […]

C-Ron off to Madrid, and now this: Fergie will be pleased The Sun goes crazy today over the news that Wayne Rooney was caught smoking a cigarette on his honeymoon in Vegas. Gosh! A drunk sub-editor fellow guest said of this shocking incident: “He (Rooney) is super-fit – you don’t expect to see him smoking. […]

Our favourite snaps from Germany’s dramatic win over the brave Turks More below…

Word to the BBC: ditch these two jokers now Uncle Motty has gone into a branch of Boots and chosen his glasses from the section marked “Plastic frames suitable for wacky children’s TV presenters”. Meanwhile, Lawro has clearly bought his reading glasses for £3.99 from a motorway petrol station. So they both need glasses? That […]

A football player furious after being sent-off has been accused of biting a referee on the face. Rannord A. Jones was playing a match in Delaware when the incident happened. Jones has been charged with several offences.

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1. What a fantastic match (what we saw of it at least). The comeback kids were out-comebacked in the end. But Turkey deserved to make the final.

If you were to read that David Beckham was displaying his pens in a new commercial you would probably think it was a typo and that I was referring to his pant-bulging Armani adverts. But there is no ‘i’ missing from the word pens: in Becks’ latest commercial venture, the man worth £87 million scraps with members of the public over a $4 pen. As far as we aware, there are now rumours about Beckham’s ‘pens’ being enhanced by computer for this campaign!

Just like after Boxing Day supper, Turkey are down to the bare bones. Here’s the six players they could have done with to help them beat Germany tonight


1. Arda Turan
Arda would be in my team of the tournament, but he won’t be in Turkey’s team tonight. Despite being a skilful winger rather than a tough-tackling midfielder, the youngster has acquired the dreaded two yellow cards and will have to watch the semi-final from the stands.

Pies picks out three great Ince clips, in honour of Blackburn’s new boss 1. Getting on the wrong side of Big Dunc Ferguson was one player who even Ince wouldn’t pick a fight with.

Just a few of the many rumours filling up today’s back pages 1. Samir Nasri to Arsenal The 21-year-old French playmaker is expected to join the Gunners at some stage in the next week, although his agent Jean-Pierre Bernes insisted last night the reports on the midfielder’s site of a done deal were “premature”. The […]

Hitler even less amused by sale of C-Ron than Fergie… Made us laugh, anyway – ah, the simple joy of ironic and crude subtitles.

Rio on holiday in Tel Aviv A handy pictorial reminder of why it’s so refreshing that England aren’t at Euro 2008. Much like any English tourists, there are few things more embarrassing than an English football star abroad. Rio, you officially look like a twat.

Barcelona prodigy looks shit-hot Name Alain Richard Ebwelle Age 12 (!!) – not that we always believe African birth certificates. Nationality Cameroon Club history FC Barcelona youth teams Position Striker/winger. Is he any good? Judging by the above clip of him in action for a Barca youth team against Real Madrid, yes he is very, […]