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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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1. Just when you thought it was beginning more like the Spain we know and love – underachievement and failing to live up to potential – David ‘Luxury’ Villa steps up to win the match. Undeserved, but Spain are through.

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1. What an excellent game. End-to-end action, plenty of excitement and plenty of goals.

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1. So, so close. The Italians – the World Champions – were on the brink of elimination.

Who said journalists were smart? (Not us) A German journalist covering Euro 2008 tried to delay his flight from Verona to Vienna by making a fake bomb threat, according to reports in the Italian media. The 27-year-old hack showed up late at Verona airport on Thursday, where staff from Air Dolomiti told him he could […]

Bookmaker offers free gas guzzler to first Spanish goalscorer Paddy Power, a bookies that specialises in special and unusual bets, is offering a free Hummer to the first Spanish player to score against Sweden in tomorrow evening’s Group D clash. There is a catch, of course. To claim the Hummer, the Spanish scorer must also […]

Another Euro 2008-themed quiz to hurt your head 1. Career path Werder Bremen, Borussia Dortmund, Bayern Munich, Werder Bremen (current) 2. Multiple choice Patrick Kluivert and which other player top scored at Euro 2000? a) Nuno Gomes, b) David Trezeguet, c) Thierry Henry, d) Savo Milosevic 3. Picture round Who’s this Euro star? 4. Team-mates […]

English ref receives death threats after penalty decision robs Poles of victory Howard “two watches” Webb has received death threats on the web after his controversial late penalty decision cost Poland a 1-0 win against co-hosts Austria. The Poles have to now beat group leaders Croatia in their final group game, and hope Austria can […]

Portuguese trickster claims to have signed for a “big club” With Porto out of next season’s Champions League – Uefa suspended them in the wake of allegations of bribery in 2003/04 – it seemed inevitable that Ricardo Quaresma would look for a big-money move to England, Spain or Italy. It looks like his wish has […]

German midfielder vs lead singer of Reef Remember Reef? They’re defunct now, but still marginally famous thanks to their one big pop hit, “Place Your Hands”, which was customised by Chris Evans for TFI Friday (“It’s Your Letters”). Anyway, their lead singer, Gary Stringer, always reminds me of Torsten Frings.

Dutch coach looks mean, talks a language we don’t understand… Van Basten has gone into “boot camp marine” mode, but he still talks in a charming whisper – he’s clearly going for the “speak softly, carry big stick” approach to football management. If only we could understand what he’s saying. Any Pies readers speak Dutch […]

The scarier side of Euro 2008!

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1. Servet Çetin (Turkey)
A face only a mother could love and looks like he might wield a massive knife. He’s also built like the proverbially brick outhouse!

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1. Austria should have had the game wrapped up before Poland had even woken up. The hosts (and in particular Martin Harnik) could not afford to waste such good openings early on.

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1. So it’s not just England. Apparently Croatia can embarrass just about whoever they want!

C-Ron unveils latest foot con in training Nice move Cristiano – like to see you try it in a game though. We christen it… the circle jerk.

Chelsea look to Portugal’s Gene Hackman-alike As of 1 July, Felipe Scolari will take over as Chelsea’s head coach. That’s just two days after the Euro 2008 final, which could feature Portugal. A bit soon, no? Scolari has a fine track record, but how will his Sgt Major demeanour go down with Chelsea’s stars. We’ll […]

Co-hosts out, C-Ron finds his feet Watch Arda Turan’s added-time goal, which broke Swiss hearts.

Switzerland’s hopes dashed after just two games This young Switzerland fan couldn’t keep his emotions in check after his country became the first team to be eliminated from the tournament. Maybe he just bet a whole year’s pocket money on the Swiss reaching the final?

A Swiss role player

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Not only is Kobi Kuhn a Jack Lemmon lookalike, there is also a good chance that he is a Grumpy Old Man after Switzerland were eliminated from Euro 2008.

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1. Both hosts are crap! Switzerland were supposed to be the ‘good’ ones and yet they are the first side to be eliminated from the tournament. Expect Austria to follow shortly.

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“Hey, Cristiano, like my new moustache.”
“What new moustache?”
“The one on my top lip. Look closer.”

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1. Portugal were flattered by the score, but they deserved the win. They are a pleasure to watch in attack.

A Fab fashion crime, par excellence In which young Cesc smoulders with his very best boy-band look. [Picture spotted at Kickette]

Who’s shone in the first round of group games? Here’s who… Pepe (Portugal) Strong and athletic at the back, and threatening when he ventured into the opposition box. Scored one fine header against Turkey, and had another disallowed. Had the odd lapse in concentration, but overall he was hugely impressive. More below…

Moody striker saves his best for the Swedes’ first game A stunning strike by Zlatan – the goal of the tournament so far (although I did love Sneijder’s team goal against the Italians). Enjoy it while you can – Uefa will rip it down from YouTube soon, no doubt. EDITED Yep, didn’t last long!

The usual array of supporters who’ve gone mad with the crayons Two Swiss fans become one Swiss flag. More below…