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Who ate all the pies

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Rangers star’s antics get Aberdeen player sent off Kyle Lafferty pretended to be headbutted by Aberdeen’s Charlie Mulgrew during Saturday’s SPL match at Ibrox. Lafferty fell to the ground as if he’d been properly nutted, when in fact Mulgrew hardly touched him. Very poor show, Mr Lafferty. Watch the incident below…

Gender equality yet to reach Russia, clearly “If my wife’s car drive into group of gypsies, will there be any damage to car? Very nice!” God love Andrey Arshavin and his old-school, Borat-esque sexism. In an interview with the Daily Mail this week, the Russian refused an opportunity to at least pretend that he thinks […]

Who’s more valuable: a great striker or a brilliant keeper? David Villa v Gigi Buffon (Group B) The second game in Group B is a David v Goliath match-up: little David Villa against the imposing massiveness of Gigi Buffon. Who you got? Vote below…

C-Ron is a funny guy After Man Utd’s 0-0 draw at home to Arsenal, a result that saw United win the league (congrats to Fergie and co. – you deserved it), Ronaldo grabbed the mic from a Sky reporter and proceeded to interview Anderson, who is one of his best mates at the club. The […]

The opening fixture in Group B Kaka v Diego (Group B) (Group B: Kaka, Diego, David Villa, Gigi Buffon) Tough bracket, Group B, and we kick off with an all-Brazilian clash. Kaka’s form has dipped a bit since 2006/07, while Diego’s career is on the up - he has been superb for Werder Bremen in the […]

One is a scary control freak, the other is a video game character Nice shoulder pads/hat combo, Mrs Becks. Not intimidating in any way. More Shit Lookalikes

How many stars can you spot? The best football song/video I’ve seen this season, no contest.

Get up, son As far as I can tell, this incident took place during a game in the Czech league between Sparta Prague and FC Tescoma Zlin (please correct me if that’s not right). Using my amazing powers of deduction, it seems that a Sparta player barged into a ball boy. The ball boy then […]

United’s performance against the Prem’s strugglers is the key to their success this season… As Manchester United prepare to win the Premier League against Arsenal – an act of rubbing it in not seen since Monica Lewinsky left the Oval Office – we wonder if, well, they won’t. This season so far, United have won […]

Leeds striker complimented opposition defender “He tries to chat with you during the game. There were times on Saturday when he was complimenting me on my game saying things like ‘good header’ and ‘nice tackle’. “I didn’t know whether he was winding me up or trying to put me off but it was very strange. […]

Fifa gets it wrong again Your starter for ten… Q. Which crap R&B star claims he has been chosen by Fifa to be the “musical director” for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa? Clue: it’s not Craig David (it’s worse than that). Think you know the answer? The painful truth - God, I desperately hope […]

What’s going on here? You tell us… As good a keeper as he is, Pepe Reina is clearly in the wrong profession. We’ve already seen that he’s a terrific public speaker. Here, he shows us his acting skills, albeit only in a viral for adidas’ 12th man campaign.

Choose your winner in the second match in Group A The inaugural Best Player in the World World Cup kicked off yesterday, with a very tasty clash: Cristiano Ronaldo (pre-tournament favourite) v Fernando Torres. As it stands, Nando is set to pull off a shock win - at time of posting, the Spaniard has 48% of […]

Ouch, that is nasty This is a leaked photo (montage) of Arsenal’s away kit for the 2009/10 season. First thing you notice… it’s blue, like the sort of blue worn by bitter rivals Spurs. Second thing you notice, it looks cheap and nasty. That’s what I think, anyway. Some of you might dig the colour and […]

This new clip suggests Ronny has an eye for his team-mate’s tackle Of course, C-Ron is not heterosexual or homosexual or even bisexual – he’s Ronaldosexual (Pies ®), which means he really only loves himself. [@ lots of blogs, including Dirty Tackle and Off the Post] Vote for Ron in the Best Player in the […]

The “Best Player in the World World” Cup kicks off! Cristiano Ronaldo v Fernando Torres (Group A) (Group A: Cristiano Ronaldo, Fernando Torres, Dani Alves, Luka Modric) So, the first tie of Pies’ “Best Player in the World” World Cup, and it’s a belter. C-Ron is undoubtedly one of the pre-tournament favourites, but Nando Torres […]

Old Henrik, he’s still got it Balls… check. Head… check. Nice that the other guy (Jon Persson, who plays for Brommapojkarna, I believe) saw the funny side. [@ 101GreatGoals]

Today’s links are brought to you by the number “69″ and the celebrity Katie Price. That’s just a coincidence 1. Swedish hooligans riot at 30,000ft. [@ Unprofessional Foul] 2. It’s the irresponsible media who help to put football in the gutter. [@ F365] 3. Tim Vickery on a reborn Ronaldo (the fat one, not the […]

YOU decide who is the best footballer on the planet Vote for me! Vote for me! Nothing gets football fans going as much as the question, “Who’s the best player in the world?” So let’s stop all this idle pub chat and sort it out… Pies is proud(ish) to announce the first ever “Best Player […]

Who’s the most improved player of all? Find out below… 5. Glen Johnson (Portsmouth) With the confidence gained from a few good outings in an England shirt (Fabio Capello rates him, it’s clear), Johnson has been the stand-out player in a decidedly lame Portsmouth defence. There is a new composure and maturity to his game. […]

Who’s kicked on in 08/09? Here’s who… 10. Alex Song (Arsenal) Not so long ago, many Gooners wondered what Arsene Wenger saw in the young Cameroonian midfielder. But after a string of impressive performances in the second half of this season, Song has leapfrogged Denilson and Abou Diaby in the contest to be Cesc Fabregas’ […]

C-Ron doesn’t fear Fergie’s hairdryer, clearly Cristiano Ronaldo Moody Moment Against City – The best bloopers are here Quite unbelievable really. Can you imagine any other player doing this in front of Fergie? Normally it would mean career suicide, and a one-way ticket out of Old Trafford, but because Ronaldo is so valuable to United, […]

Reading defender goes berserk in Championship play-off After being sent off for a terrible stamp on Burnley’s Robbie Blake, Reading’s Andre Bikey went loco, tearing off his shirt and stampeding around the pitch in a manner that made Didier Drogba’s rant seem tame.

City’s Arab connections pay off again Man City’s new 2009/10 kit is worth a cool £45million. Next week the club will announce a £30m shirt sponsorship deal with Air Etihad, set to run for four seasons. Umbro will also take over from Le Coq Sportif as City’s shirt manufacturer. That deal is worth £15m, also […]

Arsenal lose again, Chelsea bounce back In the wake of Tom Henning Ovrebo-Gate, I thought Chelsea might suffer more when it came to this battle of the Champions League losers, but I was way wrong. Guus Hiddink’s team came to north London and stuffed Arsenal on their own patch, to cap a truly crappy week […]