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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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German players Petra Wimbersky and Sandra Smisek celebrate their team’s win in the Women’s World Cup final against Brazil with a few well-earned beers at the Hua Ting team hotel in Shanghai, China. Damn, there’s nothing sexier than a German woman who can hold her drink. Photo Christof Koepsel/Bongarts/Getty Images More on Germany’s success at […]

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Luca Toni’s transfer fee is starting to look like the best €11 million Bayern Munich have ever spent. The Italian’s six goals just eight games into the Bundesliga season have sent Bayern top with a four-point cushion. He scored his latest goal in the 0-1 win against Bayer Leverkusen at the weekend. He is pictured above taking in Munich’s famous Oktoberfest with Miroslav Klose and Franck Ribery.

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Fans of Euro 2008 co-hosts Austria have launched a petition to have their national team thrown out of the competition on the grounds that they are going to humiliate the country. The Österreich zeigt Rückgrat (Austria show backbone) initiative calls for the team to be withdrawn for the benefit of football fans everywhere and national pride in Austria.

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On the left we have the real Wayne Rooney (unless EA Sports hired a lookalike for their FIFA 08 photoshoot, which would complicate matters further) and on the right we have his computer-generated evil twin. FIFA 08 Rooney has a slight glint in his eye which suggests he might be about to kill his clean-shaven, slightly thinner, human other half!

One of the most stunning nights of European football at Old Trafford. One thing’s for sure: there will be no repeat of this scoreline tonight, when the two teams meet in the CL again. More Man Yoo talk at Man United Pies

Wow, what a pulsating game to mark Spurs’ 125th anniversary! At 4-1 down, Martin Jol looked like a dead man walking, but Spurs roared back to snatch an unlikely draw – that no doubt felt to Spurs fans more like a win – with a Younes Kaboul goal in added time. This photo (Getty Images) […]

David Nugent is the latest footballer to decide that sending nude pictures of himself by mobile phone is the way to stay out of trouble. Obviously jealous of the attention we gave to his former England under 21 strike partner Leroy Lita, the Portsmouth striker sent a picture of him posing naked in the bathroom to a 19-year-old shop assistant he had met on a night out.

John Terry will play for Chelsea in their Champions League match against Valencia tomorrow, despite suffering a depressed cheekbone fracture, courtesy of Clint Dempsey’s elbow, on Saturday. The Sun imagine JT’s mask will look like this, putting me in mind of that great episode of Only Fools and Horses, when Del and Rodney dress up […]

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Newcastle manager Sam Allardyce is eager to be reunited with his former Bolton keeper Jussi Jaaskelainen. Although the Finn is a decent keeper, goalkeeping is one area of the team where the Magpies are already blessed.

mrtoshack.jpgJohn Toshack is a man who knows a thing or two about being in at the deep end in the world of football. He’s played in the Liverpool side that became one of the most successful teams in history, as well as leading Real Madrid to La Liga. He also knows a thing or two about playing games with the press saying directly translating stock footballing phrases into Spanish that only make sense in the original English… “La Liga es el pan y la mantequilla y la nata es la Copa del Rey or ‘The League is the bread and butter and the Cup is the cream’…

I’ve spoken about Garrincha on these pages before, but there’s always excuse to have another look at Brazil’s greatest ever player (yes… he is the greatest). If there is one player I would’ve loved to see in his heyday, it’s ‘Little Wren’. Imagine him in the modern game! With all those lovely camera angles we have now, and less clogging of skillful players, Garrincha would have trounced all the young pretenders out there now.

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Whilst watching Match Of The Day at the weekend, I was shocked at how football is able to still surprise after all these years. I’m not talking about the match between Pompey and Reading that finished 34 – 12, but rather, the horrific thatch sat atop Peter Walton’s cranium. Refereeing the Blackburn/Sunderland match, Walton’s wild receder left me completely distracted from the action. Great stuff… if horrendous…

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Thierry Henry scored a hat-trick as Barcelona beat Levante 1-4 to go top of La Liga. Real Madrid are hot on their heels, just one point behind with a game in hand – after beating Getafe 0-1.

Here at Pies, we pride ourselves on our Shit Lookalikes. Sadly we can’t take the credit for this one because it is down to the Coventry City squad. The players at the Ricoh Arena have apparently taken to calling new captain Arjan de Zeeuw ‘Kosta‘ because they reckon he looks like Australian boxer Kosta Tszyu.

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Crissy Ronaldo (© Pies) pounced early in the second-half to give United victory and keep up with Arsenal.
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Ah, the bog roll launched from the stand unravelling as it arcs its way towards the pitch – surely one of the finest sights in football. Players normally turn a blind-eye to such activities until said bog roll interferes with a goal-kick/hits them.

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1 Regardless of age and experience, David James is still capable of making terrible mistakes such as the rush of blood which saw him charging out of his penalty area like a bull to Dave Kitson’s matador.

Former Arsenal flop Julio Baptista scored this great bicycle kick against Real Betis last night. Apparently his landing measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.

[Via 101Greatgoals]

Top 10s & lists

The Drugs Ban XI

September 28th, 2007

Pies puts together a team so pumped up with drugs that even a Glenn Roeder team-talk could get them motivated!

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With Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov increasing his stake in Arsenal today (looks like his chef has been steadily increasing his steak for some time, by the way) this t-shirt is as timely as ever for Gooners.

I can’t tell you how chuffed I am to able to combine Hollowatch with a Shit Lookalike. In his latest online column for BBC Sport, Ian Holloway claims that Avram Grant looks like a famous character from Wind in the Willows (not Beatrix Potter, as the Beeb claims). Ian says: ‘If we’re talking lookalikes he’s […]

If you didn’t know, Pies now has its own community, a place where you, dear readers, can hang out, make friends (in a Facebook stylee), upload videos and discuss football until you’re blue/red (delete where applicable) in the face. See the ‘Community’ tab at the top of this page? Click it, sign up, create a […]

As he’s being interviewed after a Liverpool FA Cup victory – was it that crazy game against Luton a couple of seasons ago? – Stevie G almost goes arse over tit. He holds it together though, much to the amusment of the interviewer and Ian Wright in the studio – if you listen closely, you […]

Name Nagore Nationality Spanish WAG of… Liverpool pass master Xabi Alonso. The pair are childhood sweethearts and are expecting their first child. Fame ranking 1/10 Unlike some WAGs, and much like her modest boyfriend, Nagore is more than happy to stay out of the tabloid spotlight. Babe ranking 8/10 Looks uncannily like Penelope Cruz, which […]

When Greg Ryan, the MacGyveresque head coach of America’s women, chose to ‘bench’ goalkeeper Hope Solo, who had kept three consecutive clean sheets, he sowed the seeds of his team’s first defeat in three years. You just don’t mess with success, and Ryan’s crazy decision to drop the in-form Solo and bring in veteran Briana […]