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Who ate all the pies

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The Inconvenient Truth for Becks fans is that their hero is supposedly the least green person on the planet. As The Daily Star reported recently, ‘LA Galaxy star Becks, 32, not only owns a fleet of 15 gas-guzzling supercars [including a Porsche, Hummer and Lincoln Navigator], he has clocked up more than 250,000 miles in the air in the last year – more than the distance to the far side of the Moon.

1 Craig Hinton of Bristol Rovers rises above the Fulham defence to score his team’s second goal at Craven Cottage. Bristol held the Premier League side to a 2-2 draw.
Photo Phil Cole/Getty Images

Michael Mifsud The Coventry striker led the Sky Blues to an incredible 1-4 victory at Blackburn with two goals.

One is a likeable no hoper who constantly gets himself into scrapes on the field of play with his comic strip antics, the other is Philippe Senderos.

… Yes, it means that after the Brazilian daddy scored for Real Madrid in their 2-0 win against Real Zaragoza, he celebrated in time-honoured fashion: Robinho’s post-goal celebration was one of the finest ‘I’m going to let the world know that I’ve had a baby!’ moments in football history. Not only did Robbie break out […]

2578347.jpgWould you trust your best mate to be around your naked wife/girlfriend/partner and act like a gentleman? David Beckham would. Speaking at a do for the Football Writers’ Association, Becks said that he’d trust best bud Gary Neville with his wife Victoria – even if she was naked.
‘They are the three [mates] that I would trust with my wife naked,’ said the LA Galaxy star. ‘That’s how good they are as friends.’ (We don’t know who the other two are.)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Pies sends to you 12 Robinho’s drumming…

BRISTOL CITY to beat Middlesbrough City are tough to beat at home and ‘Boro have no form right now. This looks like the most obvious ‘upset’ of the third round. Not that it would be a massive upset, mind. SPURS vs READING to be goal CRAZY! You want goals? You got ‘em with this fixture, […]

Young Motherwell fans gather to pay tribute to Phil O’Donnell at St Mary’s Church in Hamilton, Scotland. Hundreds of fans and leading sporting figures attended the funeral of the 35-year-old Motherwell captain, who collapsed during a match against Dundee United. Photo Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

A team of giantkilling heroes to inspire the minnows in this weekend’s FA Cup third-round ties.

The French football festive programme is much less packed than the English one. Ligue 1 footballers clocked off the weekend before Christmas and will not kick a ball again until January 12. The final round of fixtures before the winter break did throw up one particularly interesting tie though as the top two went head-to-head.

David Beckham has started training with Arsenal, in a bid to stay fit during the MLS’s off season. He will mostly train with Arsenal’s reserves over the next few weeks but he may join up with the first team when they are short of players. Will he also wear official Arsenal kit to train in though? – no doubt tabloid sports editors (and me too, if I’m honest) are praying that he does.


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

January 4th, 2008

Welcome to the first FFQ of 2008. Slightly new format for the quiz, cause we like to keep things fresh at Pies. Can you answer all six of these teasers?
Career path Coventry City, Vasco da Gama, LA Galaxy (current)?
True or false? Gazza’s pop single ‘Fog on the Tyne’ reached No.1 in the charts.

78672519.jpgJuande Ramos has slapped a £30m pricetag on Dimitar Berbatov‘s head. Or, to be precise, the Spurs boss has said that ‘a club would have to break the British transfer record to sign Berbatov’. That means Chelsea or Man Utd (the only two English clubs who would buy the Bulgarian) would have to spend more than the reputed £30.8m that Chelsea spent on Andriy Shevchenko in 2006.

Hereford’s win over Newcastle is arguably the greatest FA Cup third round giantkilling act, and certainly one of the most famous. Having taken Newcastle to a replay with a 2-2 draw at St James’s Park, Southern League outfit Hereford went 0-1 down to a Malcolm Macdonald goal in the 82nd minute. Just three minutes later, Ronnie Radford’s superb 30-yard strike took the match to extra time. Hereford confirmed their place in FA Cup folklore when Ricky George fired home in the first-half of extra-time.

Thunder thunder, Thunder THUNDER, THUNDER THUNDER-CATS! This is the first Shit Lookalike of 2008 from Chringle, the King of Shit Lookalikes. As usual, it’s inspired.

76235079.jpg1 Alan Hutton, Rangers’ highly rated right-back (pictured), is weighing up a move to Spurs. The 23-year-old Scot looked great for his country in their Euro 2008 qualifying campaign, and reports suggest that Tottenham have dangled an £8m carrot in front of Rangers’ noses. Alex Ferguson is also known to be a big admirer of Hutton, so don’t rule out a rival bid from Man Yoo. Via BBC Sport

78571094.jpgFwank Lampard has pledged to spend the rest of his playing career at Chelsea. (In other words, no other big club is interested in him, so he’s played the loyalty card – one of the oldest tricks in the book.) So there will be no dream move to Barcelona for Lamps and his Spanish missus Elen Rives.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Pies sends to you eleven Gazza’s piping…

This sketch from Scottish football comedy show Only An Excuse? shows the lengths Celtic manager Gordon Strachan has to go to in order to avoid picking out-of-sorts Derek Riordan.

July 1994 Roberto Baggio of Italy celebrates scoring the winning goal during the World Cup ’94 second-round match against Nigeria, played at the Foxboro Stadium, in Boston, Massachusetts. Italy won the match 2-1 after extra-time. Photo Rick Stewart/Allsport

This month Pies will look at each Premier League club and what they need to do in the January transfer window to improve. First up, Arsenal:
Arsenal_FC.pngCurrent league position 1st

Anelka is the main man at Bolton, the star attraction, their best player. Bolton are ‘Nicolas Anelka’s Bolton’, just as Arsenal were ‘Thierry Henry’s Arsenal’ not so long ago. He is happy at the Reebok, but he should be – it’s the sort of club that fits neatly with his selfish, ‘big fish in a small pond’ attitude.

Thanks to Pies reader Vijayan for this fine spot.

Stelios of Bolton Wanderers celebrates scoring the winning goal in the 90th minute of last night’s Premier League match between Bolton and Derby County at the Reebok Stadium.
Derby battled gamely and probably deserved a point from the game, but their fate is sealed, barring the most miraculous escape in Premier League history.