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Who ate all the pies

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From City fans impeccably observing the minute’s silence to United losing the game 2-1, yesterday’s Manchester derby didn’t quite turn out how most of us expected.

Congratulations to Egypt, who lifted the Africa Cup of Nations trophy at the weekend, after beating Cameroon 1-0 in a disappointingly flat final. The only goal of the game came in the 77th minute when Mohamed Aboutrika coolly slotted home a Mohamed Zidan pass after a defensive slip by Cameroon’s Rigobert Song. Still, it was […]

1. Fergie chewed gum throughout the minute’s silence. Classy guy. 2. Man Utd’s sponsorless kit looked really great – made me yearn for the days when all kits were that simple. 3. For all their talents, Man Utd are sorely lacking a) an incisive striker, and b) a decent right-back to replace Gary Neville. With […]

I suspect that digital trickery may have been employed to spice up this viral vid for EA’s video game Fifa Street 3. That said, it’s still impressive, in an ‘I’m way too old and square to pull off any cool shit like that…’ sort of way.

This morning’s top football stories… John Terry (pictured) thinks he’s fully recovered from his foot injury. Avram Grant, he say ‘No, no, no!’ The Sun Global opposition to the Premier League’s ‘international round’ is growing so fast that North America now looks to be the only region that will embrace the beleaguered project. Mail Five […]

It is shocking that Liverpool’s Javier Mascherano was not sent-off for savagely wiping out Mike Riley yesterday. The referee took a tumble dying swan style during the dull 0-0 draw between the Reds and Chelsea after somehow getting his legs all tangled up in Mascherano’s pass.

ronaldo%20united%20kit.jpgManchester United donned a special 1950s-style shirt for yesterday’s derby defeat to Manchester City in honour of the Munich air disaster. The club ditched its crest and the logo of sponsors AIG to remember the Busby Babes killed in the crash on February 6, 1958. The shirt – modelled here by Cristiano Ronaldo – is not going on sale to the public so any United fans wanting to recreate the look will have to buy retro or try the Fredi Kanoute approach and tape up the sponsor’s logo.

HEROES
Benjani Mwaruwari Scoring the winning goal in the Manchester derby is not a bad debut in anyone’s books, even if you are only there for the money!

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Tiny Carquefou knocked Nantes out of the Coupe de France with a shock 2-1 victory. The fifth division part-timers won the match in extra time to progress to the last 16. They will face Marseille in the next round who recorded a 3-1 win over Monaco. Mathieu Valbuena, debutant Elliot Grandin and Djibril Cisse bagged OM’s goals.

No hint of a backlift… and then WALLOP! The Scottish goalie was as shocked as I was when I first saw a video of this goal. What do Portuguese players have for breakfast that allows them to strike a ball with such ferocity?

utd%20fans.JPGWith the news that some Premier League matches could be played abroad from 2011, Pies finds suitable home venues for the 20 current incumbents.
Arsenal – Paris

For years people have been saying that Arsene Wenger has been running a French Embassy at the Gunners so why not pitch up at the Stade de France?
Aston Villa – Rome
Tom Hanks: “What suburb of Rome is Aston Villa from?”
Birmingham – Memphis
Home of the Blues

Games

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

February 8th, 2008

Another set of six devilishly difficult football questions, devised by your handsome quizmaster – that’s me btw. 1. Career path Tonnerre Yaoundé, Metz, Salernitana, Liverpool, West Ham, Lens, Galatasaray (current) 2. True or false? The 1994 World Cup is the highest-attended sporting event in United States history. 3. Picture round Who’s kissing the trophy? 4. […]

Everton

Where’s Yakubu?

February 8th, 2008

Have you seen Yakubu? Because his club Everton haven’t. The Nigerian striker should have returned to training on Wednesday, but he hasn’t showed up. Team-mate Joseph Yobo did make it back in one piece, which makes Yakubu’s mysterious absence look even worse. Yakubu will reportedly be fined £80,000, the maximum permitted under PFA rules, when […]

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Massimo Ambrosini of Italy slides in to tackle Ricardo Quaresma during the international friendly between Italy and Portugal at the Letzigrund Stadium in Zurich, Switzerland. Italy won the match 3-1 in a fixture that could be a dry run for the final of Euro 2008 (you heard it here first). Photo Michael Steele/Getty Images

What happened to the Ghana vs Ivory Coast dream final? Well, it’s off, that’s what. Here’s how: Ghana 0-1 Cameroon The hosts were outmuscled by Cameroon, in a match that was marred by the unbelievably inappropriate behaviour of Reading defender Andre Bikey. With Cameroon leading 1-0, thanks to a goal in the 71st minute by […]

Amidst the plethora of meaningless friendlies held this week – Macedonia vs Serbia, anyone? – there were some actual World Cup qualifiers, in the Asian section. Australia swept past Qatar, thanks to goals by Josh Kennedy, Tim Cahill and Mark Bresciano. Watch the goals below: There were also comfortable wins for Japan, who thumped Thailand […]

Is Fabio having a laugh? Probably not once he saw Wes Brown’s first touch. Thanks to John Rain for the spot. More Shit Lookalikes

Includes Jose’s stunning rendition of Petula Clark’s Downtown!

wes%20brown%20ginger%20crew.jpgWes Brown’s latest barnet ticks all the right Horror Hair boxes. Curly. Check. Ginger. Check. 1980s crew cut. Double-check. It’s like a ball of copper wool meets The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. As if he wasn’t drawing enough attention to himself by being England’s worst player against Switzerland, he was sporting this hairdo as well. Wesley, Wesley, Wesley, when will you ever learn.

Here’s a couple of different reactions from Pies writers to the major news that the Premier League is considering playing some matches overseas. The BBC Sport website reports: ‘At a meeting in London on Thursday, all 20 clubs agreed to explore a proposal to extend the season to 39 games. Those 10 extra games would […]

Herr Ballack (or should that be Herr Lip) donned this moustache for a Mercedes ad, in which he was cast in the role of intrepid adventurer. Not the first time that Germany’s captain has taken the corporate dollar. Watch the making of the Mercedes ad after the click…

A Mexican fan, clad in de rigeur wrestling mask, cheers on his team during their 2-2 draw against arch rivals USA in a friendly international held in Houston yesterday. More than 70,000 fans turned out to watch the game. A fine, looping header by Fulham reject Oguchi Onyewu gave the hosts the lead, but Magallon’s […]

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The term ‘world class’ is a difficult one to quantify, especially when it’s over used by pundits every time a player does anything above average. We think that the world class club is more exclusive and should only be reserved for a few players who are exceptional talents – your Ronaldos, Messis and Kakas.

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Alexandre Pato continued AC Milan’s march up the table by scoring the only goal in a 0-1 win at Fiorentina. The 18-year-old Brazilian left the pitch on a stretcher though after spraining his ankle. He will be out for around two weeks but is expected to be back in time to torment Arsenal in the Champions League.