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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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There were strange scenes in Jerusalem at the weekend. We have heard of pitch invasions to stop your team from losing a match, but not pitch invasions to stop your team winning the league. But that is exactly what happened when Beitar Jerusalem fans went on the rampage on Sunday. The pitch invasion happened four minutes from the end of match against Maccabi Herzliya which Beitar were winning 1-0. Victory would have secured back-to-back titles but instead the game was abandoned. There were plenty of strange goings on, not least this ‘injured’ Beitar fan jumping off his stretcher to beat up a photographer!

Arsenal need a hardman, an enforcer, a leader – they are a beautiful young team but they have no ugly side, unless you count petulance as ugly. Chelsea have John Terry, Man Utd have Rio Ferdinand (not to mention Gary Neville and others) – both men will gladly kick their own players up the arse […]

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If the early rumours are to be believed, this summer could see the top clubs clambering to sign the best of what is already on offer in the Premier League rather than look elsewhere. Pies compiles a team of players who could move to clubs higher up the league table.

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres believes that the Primera Liga is stronger than the Premier League. “In England the top four are better than the ones in Spain, above all when it comes to consistency,” Torres told Radio Marca. “Apart from that, the rest of the teams in the Primera Liga are stronger as they have […]

Deon Burton of Sheffield Wednesday tangles with Paul Connolly of Plymouth Argyle during the Coca-Cola Championship match between Wednesday and the Pilgrims at Hillsborough on 14 April, 2008. The match finished 1-1, a result that lifts Wednesday out of the bottom three, and all but ends Plymouth’s chances of reaching the play-offs. Photo Mark Thompson/Getty […]


Just look at the state of poor Petr Cech. He has been a pretty forlorn character ever since his horrific collision with Stephen Hunt forced him to wear his protective cap. But looking like the kid in PE class with the overprotective mum still hasn’t keep him out of trouble. Despite his training ground clash with Tal Ben Haim, with Carlo Cudicini also injured Cech has been rushed back to action to avoid Portuguese keeper Hilneverbegoodenoughfortoplayio being left to his own devices.

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It ain’t going to be Avram Grant, and that is fo’ sho’. As Chelsea’s form dips once again, it seems likely that this summer Roman Abramovich will present the Israeli with a shiny new badge saying ‘director of football’, or ‘general manager’, or ‘general manager of club shop’. While Grant is unlikely to be given the sack – Abramovich’s pride probably wouldn’t allow for that – a new man will probably be brought in to take over the first-team reigns. The question is, who will it be?

Alright, it was only against a Derby side who managed to concede six on Saturday and the chance was gifted to him by a terrible clearance from the keeper – but, Stylian Petrov’s quick thinking and superb technique that allowed him to score from the edge of the centre circle gets our vote for goal of the week.

We’re down to the final three places in our Premier League team of the season as chosen by Pies’ readers.But, now it’s time to turn to the opposite flank and there are a decent selection of left wingers to choose from – click through to vote for the best left winger in the Premier League this season.

Arsenal’s season is officially over with Arsene Wenger typically complaining that the best team in the country will finish without silverware for yet another season.
The manager insists his responsibility is to deliver beautiful football to entertain the supporters, but how much longer will either the fans or the players be prepared to wait for his footballing ideal to deliver trophies?

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Ouch! That is not supposed to point that way! Bolton striker Kevin Davies put in a heroic match-winning performance against West Ham at the weekend. Davies grabbed the only goal of the game and played on for a while with a dislocated finger. The hardman simply left the pitch to get treatment before, erm, knuckling back down to his performance.

Stevie Gerrard-a-like, Neil Mellor, scored this scorcher against Arsenal in 2004. With the scores at 1-1, the future Preston North End striker pulled this out of the bag.

Ajax’s must-win Eredivisie match at Groningen had to be abandoned after home fans set fire to toilet rolls. The blazing bog paper started small fires in one stand and on the pitch. Referee Erik Braamhaar called the game off on safety grounds after the pitch became engulfed in smoke. No club wants a hooligan following, but a hooligan following which trashes your own stadium is the worst sort to have!


Owen Hargreaves His great free-kick against Arsenal put the Gunners out of the title race and all but wrapped up the league for Man Yoo.

1. Money saved wisely?
Despite having money to spend, Arsene Wenger was typically frugal in the transfer market – losing Henry and only brining in Sagna and Eduardo as players of note. His decision gave the team unity at the start of the season but they have faltered towards the end with no one to replace injured or fatigued players like Eduardo and Rosicky.

he shortlist for the PFA Player of the Year Awards has been announced with Cristiano Ronaldo unsurprisingly heading the list for the second year running.
He faces competition from the Arsenal pair of Fabregas and Adebayour, Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres, and a surprise inclusion for Portsmouth’s David James.
We expect it to be a foregone conclusion but who would you choose as the Premier League’s player of the year?

This player hits the deck looking for a penalty, but as he flicks his heels up in the air for a bit of extra drama he manages to make contact with ball and accidentally clip it past the keeper. Suddenly he is not so concerned about the penalty!

Although we have already told you about the incredible match between Bayern Munich and Getafe last night, this is worthy of a post to itself. Veteran goalkeeper Oliver Kahn celebrated the dramatic win by punching annoying Dutchman Mark van Bommel in the face (a feat worthy of celebration itself). Sadly, van Bommel recognises that it was accident and takes it in good humour. Unlike the version I would like to see where van Bommel responds with a couple of jabs, calls on Robbie Savage as his tag team partner and they take on Kahn together… Irritating footballer deathmatch – we could be onto a winner.


Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni put his side in the Uefa Cup semi-finals with a dramatic goal in the last seconds of their dramatic match against Getafe. With the scores at 1-1 from the first leg, Getafe had makeshift centre-back Ruben de la Red sent off after six minutes.

Personally, I have never been a fan of marking the man who is taking the throw in as it tends to needlessly slow the game. The player in this clip obviously knew his opponent’s throw-in was a dangerous weapon. Having said that, so is a tank and you wouldn’t stand in front of one of those. As if the video itself wasn’t funny enough, turn your speakers up to get the full effect of one of sport’s most comedic noises: outraged American.

1. Career path
Luton, Arsenal, West Ham, Wimbledon, Coventry, Celtic, West Brom, Norwich (current)
2. Multiple choice
How many games did Arsenal’s Invincibles draw during their 2003/4 unbeaten season?
a) 10 b) 11 c) 12

As you can see, Premier League referee Mike Riley was separated at birth from SpongeBob SquarePants character Squidward Tentacles. According to the Nickelodeon website he, “is a stuck-in-the-mud squid who thinks he’s better than everyone else”. Sounds like a ref to me.


… second time around at least.

You would be delighted to pay your ticket money to witness either of these goals, but lucky Mexican fans got to see both these efforts in the game between San Luis and Pumas.Braulio Luna scored a spectacular volley from outside the area after being set up from a corner. And Tressor Malher Moreno turned brilliantly to take his chance. San Luis won the match 2-3.

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Former England skipper David Beckham picked up an £80 fine (or at least whatever that is in dollars) after making an illegal turn while driving in Los Angeles. Becks was pulled over by police after turning left at a right-turn only junction on Sunset Boulevard. He is a naughty boy.