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Who ate all the pies

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The scarier side of Euro 2008!


1. Servet Çetin (Turkey)
A face only a mother could love and looks like he might wield a massive knife. He’s also built like the proverbially brick outhouse!


1. Austria should have had the game wrapped up before Poland had even woken up. The hosts (and in particular Martin Harnik) could not afford to waste such good openings early on.

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1. So it’s not just England. Apparently Croatia can embarrass just about whoever they want!

C-Ron unveils latest foot con in training Nice move Cristiano – like to see you try it in a game though. We christen it… the circle jerk.

Chelsea look to Portugal’s Gene Hackman-alike As of 1 July, Felipe Scolari will take over as Chelsea’s head coach. That’s just two days after the Euro 2008 final, which could feature Portugal. A bit soon, no? Scolari has a fine track record, but how will his Sgt Major demeanour go down with Chelsea’s stars. We’ll […]

Co-hosts out, C-Ron finds his feet Watch Arda Turan’s added-time goal, which broke Swiss hearts.

Switzerland’s hopes dashed after just two games This young Switzerland fan couldn’t keep his emotions in check after his country became the first team to be eliminated from the tournament. Maybe he just bet a whole year’s pocket money on the Swiss reaching the final?

A Swiss role player

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Not only is Kobi Kuhn a Jack Lemmon lookalike, there is also a good chance that he is a Grumpy Old Man after Switzerland were eliminated from Euro 2008.

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1. Both hosts are crap! Switzerland were supposed to be the ‘good’ ones and yet they are the first side to be eliminated from the tournament. Expect Austria to follow shortly.

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“Hey, Cristiano, like my new moustache.”
“What new moustache?”
“The one on my top lip. Look closer.”

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1. Portugal were flattered by the score, but they deserved the win. They are a pleasure to watch in attack.

A Fab fashion crime, par excellence In which young Cesc smoulders with his very best boy-band look. [Picture spotted at Kickette]

Who’s shone in the first round of group games? Here’s who… Pepe (Portugal) Strong and athletic at the back, and threatening when he ventured into the opposition box. Scored one fine header against Turkey, and had another disallowed. Had the odd lapse in concentration, but overall he was hugely impressive. More below…

Moody striker saves his best for the Swedes’ first game A stunning strike by Zlatan – the goal of the tournament so far (although I did love Sneijder’s team goal against the Italians). Enjoy it while you can – Uefa will rip it down from YouTube soon, no doubt. EDITED Yep, didn’t last long!

The usual array of supporters who’ve gone mad with the crayons Two Swiss fans become one Swiss flag. More below…


1. Praise be to Zlatan Ibrahimovic for briefly bringing a drab game to life with a wonderful strike. Not even George Clooney could stop that.


1. The emphatic victory was a great signal of intent from Spain. It was also a superb hat-trick from David Villa.

El Nino exposed as arse groper

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Will Guus Hiddink guide the Russians to glory? RUSSIA (Group D) Group mates Spain (10 June, Innsbruck), Greece (14 June, Salzburg), Sweden (18 June, Innsbruck) Three most valuable players 1) Igor Akinfeev Brilliant young goalie, with a nice line in saving penalties. 2) Andrei Arshavin Twinkle-toed playmaker, so important to his country’s hopes that he […]

Will Zlatan and his blond team-mates have more fun at the Euros? SWEDEN (Group D) Group mates Greece (10 June, Salzburg), Spain (14 June, Innsbruck), Russia (18 June, Innsbruck) Three most valuable players 1) Zlatan Ibrahimovic Hugely talented, but mentally fragile – you never know if you’re going to see Amazing Zlatan or Amazingly Crap […]

Euro links for your enjoyment C-Ron voted the hottest player involved in Euro 2008, according to poll of 12,000 women (he hasn’t slept with them all). [MSN Sport] Dutch striker Ruud van Nistelrooy’s opening goal in the win over Italy was legitimate, says Premier League referees’ chief Keith Hackett. So there. [BBC] And some non-Euro […]

Please don’t underachieve again SPAIN (Group D) Group mates Russia (10 June, Innsbruck), Sweden (14 June, Innsbruck), Greece (18 June, Salzburg) Three most valuable players 1) Iker Casillas Probably the best goalkeeper in the world, and with a suspect defence in front of him, his brilliant shot-stopping skills will be needed. 2) Fernando Torres Yet […]

Not a good look for the Italian midfield terrier There’s nothing like a girly headband for diminishing a player’s hardman status.

Video highlights of both of yesterday’s games. Catch ‘em quick before YouTube pulls them down… Holland make it look easy against the world champs: France vs Romania below…

Can the defending champions shock Europe again? GREECE (Group D) Group mates Sweden (10 June, Salzburg), Russia (14 June, Salzburg), Spain (18 June, Salzburg) Three most valuable players 1) Giorgos Karagounis Proved his immense worth to Greece at Euro 2004 – he’s a clever, dynamic, tenacious midfielder, although at 31, he’s less dynamic these days. […]