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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Fancy winning £500? Or a load of Nike vouchers? All you have to do is enter our Cisco video competition telling us how you think video could improve football. Here’s Dave’s rather funny entry. To enter the comp go here

Last time I did the Fiendish Friday Quiz your combined total points was probably just shy of Derby County’s haul for the season. Like an A-level maths examiner, I feel inclined to make this one a little easier!
1. Career path Excelsior, Feyenoord, Coventry, Aston Villa, Middlesbrough

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For every winner there has to be a loser. And unfortunately, in the Premier League this weekend, there will be one winner and two losers. If you take away Derby, who have been relegated since about October, it is one of the most competitive relegation battles in years. On the last day of the season Birmingham, Reading, Fulham and (if Reading manage to score about nine goals) Bolton can all still be relegated. The question is: who’s going down?

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It is well and truly crunch time, Pies readers. After a season full of ups and downs it has all come down to the last match of the season. By 5pm on Sunday we will know the identity of the 2007-08 Premier League champions. The question is, who will you be putting your free £10 bet on? Manchester United have won all the plaudits for their football and have been the pacesetters since the wheels came off on Arsenal’s campaign. But slow and steady Chelsea have kept plugging away and in contention when it matters. So who is going to end up with the trophy on Sunday evening?

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Chelsea keeper Petr ‘Tangoman’ Cech is certain that Chelsea will lift the Premier League trophy this weekend thanks to the colour orange. Cech’s new goalkeeping kit is orange The 26-year-old has turned sports psychologist to claim that his new kit is scientifically proven to give him an edge.

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Liverpool turn down a £25 million offer from Inter Milan for Steven Gerrard. His form normally gets a real boost from rumours like this… or not. [The Sun]

Where footballers are stopped in their tracks by a good tackle…

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Inter Milan met Pope Benedict XVI this week to celebrate their centenary. Most of the squad must have been praying that they can hold onto their three-point lead over Roma and win the Serie A title. Captain Javier Zanetti presented the Pope with a personalised replica shirt with his name and number on the back.

The quality of this video is very poor, but the quality of the goal is outstanding. Arsenal’s super Swede Anders Limpar slows down to weigh up his options, spots the keeper off his line and does the business!

Leeds United Ladies’ Steph Houghton saved this woeful throw-in for the Women’s FA Cup final, the pinnacle of the women’s game in this country. Talk about picking your moments.

There were bizarre scenes in Spain last night as players from relegated Levante refused to start the match in a protest over unpaid wages. The players stood huddled around the centre-circle as if they were observing a minute’s silence as Deportivo La Coruna kicked off the match. Deportivo unsurprisingly found themselves with an immediate opportunity to take the lead, but sportingly put the ball out of play for a goal-kick. Normal service was then resumed.

This sketch shows Ray Stubbs getting irate as comedian Omid Djalili commentates on a park kickabout featuring his nephew.

Arsenal boss wants to buy central defender & playmaker in the summer. Who should he target? Arsene Wenger has admitted he wants to strengthen his young Arsenal squad, specifically with two key summer signings: one centre-back and one creative midfielder. So I’m asking you to advise Monsieur W on which two players to go for. […]

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If this was based on waistline alone, the answer would be a resounding yes. But no, we are talking social networking and Myspace. There is a Tom Huddlestone MySpace, which not only features links to Pies’ videos of Huddlestone, but even includes our One to Watch profile of him!

Have Liverpool priced Villa’s captain too low? Aston Villa boss Martin O’Neill believes Liverpool have undervalued skipper Gareth Barry at £10m. O’Neill and his club captain will hold talks early next week after Liverpool made a players-plus-cash offer for the England midfielder. “Is Barry undervalued at £10m? Absolutely, without question,” said O’Neill. “He is playing […]

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Barcelona swallowed their pride to form a guard of honour and applaud fierce rivals Real Madrid onto the field. Barca’s respect for the new La Liga champions did not stop there. The Catalan club then proceeded to bend over and be spanked 4-1 (a show of deference which probably went a bit too far for most of their fans’ liking).

For those who like to set up camp in the opposition half…

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Bayern Munich pair Lukas Podolski and Luca Toni look like they are having fun here. The bouquet-wielding duo appear just moments away from a full blown game of kiss chase. And is the German international stealing a sneaky tickle of his Italian team-mate?
More Gaydar

Pack it up, pack it in. Let the news begin

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Liverpool have made a cash-plus-players offer worth £10 million for Aston Villa skipper Gareth Barry. Martin O’Neill is not keen on receiving Rafa’s hand-me-downs. [BBC]

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When we told you about Kevin Keegan’s love affair with Alan Curbishley the other day, we thought King Kev only had eyes for one man. Not so. A hilarious post over at The Spoiler proves that KK has a bit of a fetish for touching faces. Yes, opposition managers beware – Keegan is on the prowl and he can’t wait to get his mitts on your cheeks. See Keegan’s gallery of gropes after the jump.

Becks gets his mojo back, scores from open play! Sweet strike by Beckham to pull a goal back for LA Galaxy against Real Salt Lake in MLS last weekend. He then scored a lovely free-kick to help his team to a 2-2 draw, which you can see below…

City fans defend their beloved Sven ‘We don’t need no Phil Scolari, We don’t need Mourinho Hey, Thaksin, leave our Sven alone!’ Absolutely inspired.

Today’s best football news and rumours, brought to you in association with the letter ‘P’ and the number ’5′ Liverpool’s revised plans for its Stanley Park stadium (pictured) have been approved by the city council, at last. Anfield will now be redeveloped as a car park, sports centre and hotel. [BBC] Arsene Wenger reveals summer […]

When it’s a bowling ball, of course. It is an easy mistake to make as this advert for an opticians shows.

Mad Jens interviewed after final appearance for Gunners So long Jens, we’ll miss you and your crazy ways. Seriously, the Prem will be a less interesting place without you. More Jens YouTube goodness below…

FA set semi target for international team In their infinite wisdom, the Football Association has demanded that the national team reach at least the last four of the next World Cup, or Euro 2012. The FA revealed their optimistic vision this week in a 52-page document which set out several policy initiatives for the international […]