cool hit counter

Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

Who Ate All The Pies Logo
latest stories

Arsenal vs Liverpool (7.45pm BST)
The battle of Britain commences with the first of three games in succession between these two teams. Arsenal will have to decide whether to move Eboue back into defence in place of the injured Bacary Sagna while Liverpool will continue with their latest system of using Gerrard in the hole behind the in-form Fernando Torres.

seebald.JPG

It is a big weekend of sport coming up. Not only is it the FA Cup semi-finals but the Grand National is also taking place. A lot of footballing figures take more than a passing interest in the gee-gees. So we are going Through The Stable Keyhole to find out who has invested their football wages in a nag. Who owns a horse like this? Readers, it’s over to you.

There can’t be any doubt that Cristiano Ronaldo is currently the best player in the world and possibly the best player in Man United’s history – his 35 goals this season have carried United to the top of the Premier League and within touching distance of another European Cup semi-final.
The only problem with taking your game to a higher level than anyone can reach is that you can feel disappointed by the ‘mere mortals’ playing around you. While Ronaldo has been breaking scoring records this season, his number of assists has fallen dramatically – suggesting a selfishness and lack of trust in his teammates

This advertisement offers a fresh perspective on the danger posed to football by armchair fans!

80462280.jpg

1 United are through to the semi-finals. It is difficult to imagine Roma (or many sides for that matter) scoring two goals at Old Trafford at the moment.
2 Cristiano Ronaldo is unstoppable on present form.
3 But he is also a moody git. We don’t need the outstretched arms and face of disbelieving sorrow each time an opposition player brushes against you, C-Ron.

rooney glazer.JPG

It looks like Wayne Rooney has been attempting to mimic the facial hair of the man who pays his wages. Roo’s ginger beard (sans moustache) is an exact replica of the one sported by Manchester United owner Malcolm Glazer. How long before we see Wazza taking to the pitch in a pair of a gold-rimmed glasses?

“I am convinced that in one month I will be able to speak the language and it will not be a problem.”
Those were the words spoken by Don Fabio (albeit in his native Italian) when he first arrived in England at the tail end of last year – but more than three months later and we’re still listening to him through his dour faced translator.

You wouldn’t need a forensics expert to determine the glaring similarities between these two – surely Birmingham’s Scottish manager and Miami’s crime scene investigator were separated at birth?

Brazilian coach Wanderly (or Vanderlei) Luxemburgo loves nothing better than to chomp on a tasty fly. In fact the Palmeiras coach munched his way through one of his favourite insects during a recent interview. Here is the ex-Real Madrid boss eating a fly.

spal peanut.JPG

Roma boss Luciano Spalletti’s smooth but ever so bumpy cranium makes him a Shit Lookalike for a peanut.

I think Becks summed it up best himself when he announced (approx. 10 seconds into this video): “It’s painful.” Ever wished you were a fly-on-the-wall of a love-in between David Beckham and Mia Hamm. No, me neither but what can you do? There is ego massaging aplenty!

The scythe has been Photoshopped in. The scary Grim Reaper lookalike with the black hood is genuine!

They may be living the dream as millionaire footballers but that doesn’t mean that they can escape every man’s mid-life concern of losing their hair.
Thankfully the days of the ‘Bobby Charlton comb over’ have disappeared and today’s players seem more willing to whip it all off at the first sign of any recession up top – Alan Shearer please take note!
The Premier League is awash with bald bonces so we’ve put together a first XI of follically challenged players who have gone through the ‘hair today, gone tomorrow’ experience…

David Beckham’s heir apparent to the England team still has to prove he has the balls for the big stage, especially after receiving a clattering during the weekend.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s impudent back heel nutmeg against Villa at the weekend must be a surefire contender for goal of the season.
It takes a special type of player to pull of a move like that and the only other goals we can remember that have come close in quality have been scored from the illustrious boots of Thierry Henry and Gianfranco Zola.

andy reid fat.jpg

There have been many plump footballers over the years, but I cannot remember anyone filling out a Premier League shirt quite as well as ‘stocky’ Sunderland player Andy Reid.

This is one of the best own goals I have seen in ages! Firstly, a little information on the setting for this momentous blunder. Fehervar had beaten champions Debrecen 2-1 in the first leg of this cup tie. The champs had got themselves back on top by taking a 2-0 lead in the second leg before Fehervar pulled a goal back. The underdogs were happily holding out for extra time when they conceded a penalty. The penalty was actually saved but defender Jan Durica curled the rebound into the top corner for a truly bizarre own goal.

Poor old Gordon Strachan is really under the kosh at the minute. His Celtic side have seemingly lost their SPL title to Rangers, they lost the Old Firm derby 1-0 and now Setanta Sports cameras have caught him whistling along to Rangers anthem Follow, Follow.

ronaldo villa backheel.jpg

HEROES
Cristiano Ronaldo In sensational form as Manchester United cruised to victory against Aston Villa. He scored a crazy backheel goal and set-up three other goals.

Pies reader Berbaismyhero has confirmed what we have all known for some time now. Steve McClaren is a Joker.

steve mcclaren joker.JPG

Since we started asking Pies’ readers to vote for the players who would make it into their Premier League team of the season, we’ve got half the player’s names penned in on the team sheet.Cesc Fabregas beat Steven Gerrard to the playmaker’s position and now we’re looking for a tough tackling central midfield partner to support the defence, break up the attacks and feed the flair players with simple passing.

80397129.jpg

Pies had long suspected that Arsene Wenger viewed Arsenal as the French Embassy in London. And what have we here? Monsieur Wenger is now hosting state visits from French President Nicolas Sarkozy at the Emirates Stadium.

This compilation features Jeff Stelling and co and some of their funniest moments covering this season’s FA Cup. The video includes a surprising number of uses of the word ‘beaver’.

Makaridze.JPG

The young Dinamo Tblisi and Georgia keeper wears his hair tall and proud (even when conceding four goals against Northern Ireland). The tight, wiry curls really set off that Screech from Saved By The Bell chic look.

Both consider themselves to be academics and share the same unkempt afro hairstyle – and, after last night’s performance, maybe David James should start taking up wearing glasses too…