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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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It seems Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo was the victim of a practical joke at the weekend. While the 40 goals a season winger was supposed to be conducting an interview with Match of the Day, some prankster had obviously misled C-Ron into believing he was attending an audition for a New Kids On The Block tribute band. Our money is on Rio Ferdinand being the culprit – the boy’s got form. Keep Hangin’ Tough, C-Ron. Chav-tastic!


Brian McBride An excellent display and a vital goal from the Fulham veteran to lift his side out of the relegation zone with a 2-0 win over Birmingham.


Here at Who Ate All The Pies we really love our surveys. Yep, we love nothing better than coming up with questions, wading through your responses, chuckling at your witty replies (well, sometimes) and generally finding out what you really think.

Putting the beautiful into the beautiful game… One thousand thanks to Chringle, King of the Shit Lookalikes, for sending in this cracking picture of Dimitar Berbatov. I’m not sure where he got it, or if it’s a Photoshop job, but that doesn’t stop me enjoying it. Sexy time, ees very nice!

To the football purist, Rangers are a nightmare. Walter Smith’s men play a game that is often cautious, set piece-based and defensive-minded. Lionel Messi accused them of playing “anti-football”, and in as much as Rangers are aware of their shortcomings and realise that the best way to win is to stifle and frustrate the opposition, […]

1. Career path Napoli, Parma, Internazionale, Juventus, Real Madrid 2. Multiple choice Which team’s motto translates as “More than a club”? a) Barcelona, b) Real Madrid, c) Atletico Madrid, d) Deportivo La Coruna 3. Picture round Who’s this? 4. Team-mates Kevin Campbell, Stan Collymore, Gordon Banks and Dennis Wise all played for which club? 5. […]

Pies celebrates the homoerotic side of the beautiful game What a lovely couple they make, in their matching tight t-shirts! And just how close must Vieri’s penis be to Maldini’s sculpted gluteus maximus? Christian, in particular, looks smitten. If you see any pics suitable for our new Football Gaydar feature, let us know by leaving […]

Walter Smith’s men can still win quadruple Congrats to Rangers, who reached the Uefa Cup final with a penalty shootout win against Fiorentina in Italy last night. Walter Smith’s team might have buckled and were lucky not to concede on several occasions, but you have to admire their resilience. However, Fiorentina coach Cesare Prandelli said […]

Leeds United legend Eddie Gray scored this sexy goal against Burnley in 1970. At the start of the video he is on the byline and in danger of letting the ball go out for a goal kick. He then decides to start treating defenders like training ground cones on his way to goal.

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Peter Martin is probably most famous for playing Joe Carroll in sitcom The Royle Family. In the programme, Joe is the browbeaten husband of a hyperactive Irishwoman. In a bizarre case of life imitating art, his Shit Lookalike Giovanni Trapattoni is about to find out what life with an over expectant Irish mistress is like.

Old man of Italian football takes control of the Republic of Ireland “They told me to hold up this scarf and look confused… how I’m doing so far?” At least Trap spoke English at the press conference to unveil him as boss of the Irish national team. Which is more than Steve Staunton ever did. […]

We have a new contender for our top comedy penalty misses. First of all, the penalty taker makes Gareth Southgate look positively clinical with his weak effort. Then as he attempts to do better with the rebound, he suddenly finds himself eating goalpost.

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Well, as close to official as you can get when the source is the Daily Star! Apparently, Match of the Day presenter and former England star Gary Lineker is being lined up to play the role of Dumbo by a top American photographer. The famously jug-eared forward is wanted by snapper Annie Leibovitz to play a key role in her Disney Dream Portrait Series. The project will see celebrities including David Beckham, Roger Federer and Beyoncé playing different Disney cartoon characters. (Wait it gets even better…)


We knew on Tuesday night that we were set for a historic all-English Champions League final, and we found out last night that it would be between Chelsea and Manchester United. So who will you be rooting for in Moscow? That is assuming you don’t support one of those teams, of course, otherwise the answer will be pretty obvious. Will you pick your team on geography (although I can’t imagine too many Manchester City fans cheering on United)? Do you have a preference for the colour red over blue? Or will you devise a complicated formula to work out who the underdog is and support them? Let us know who’s got your backing and if you want to leave a comment telling us why, that would be just grand.

What’s this? Is Kevin Keegan Head Over Heels In Love? It sure looks that way as he grasps Alan Curbishley by the head and looks longingly into his eyes. I’m not sure Curbs is quite up for it as much, but he looks pleasantly surprised by the offer.

This must be a Uefa ploy to get more American fans to watch the Champions League. Look, they have started incorporating American sports into the ‘soccer’. Avram Grant brought a bit of basketball to last night’s proceedings, and Steven Gerrard responded with a little bit of American football.

Last night’s game was a pulsating affair. If you were lucky enough to watch it, who gets your vote for man of the match? Most of the candidates wore blue, although I have put a couple of Liverpool players on the list, to prevent any accusations of bias. Vote below: Your man of the match? […]

Chelsea’s new home kits for next season (blue for outfield players, naturally, and Dutch orange for the goalies) have been leaked on the thing they call the interweb. So what do you think? The blue shirt, complete with old-school white collar, reminds me of Chelsea’s Autoglass Umbro kit, and the ‘keeper’s shirt is reminiscent of […]

CHELSEA Petr Cech Solid until Ryan Babel’s late late goal, which he really should have saved. 6 Michael Essien Started at right-back, but got involved in all areas of the pitch. An immense performance. 8 John Terry Not always convincing, but didn’t do too much wrong. 7 Ricardo Carvalho Like Terry, Liverpool’s attack gave him […]

The Drog showed off his masterful range of “look at me!” gestures during last night’s CL semi. A man-of-the-match performance: “What’s that? You’ll have to speak up, I can’t hear you because I’m so much richer than you and my ears are stuffed with £50 notes…” More poses after the break…

Highlights of last night’s barnstorming semi, the best European game ever contested between these two teams, which usually cancel each other out: Great game, and you have to say the right team won. And I bet Sir Alex Ferguson was loving the fact that Chelsea were forced to play extra time.

Maybe it’s not forgotten, cause it didn’t happen that long ago, but it’s certainly wonderful, and I’m sure quite a few of you won’t have seen it. As a Plymouth Argyle fan, watching this hurts (Argyle sold him to Wolves)… Great bit of skill and a potent finish.

David Beckham has filmed a guest appearance for cult U.S. kids’ show Sesame Street. Becks hooked up with Elmo to introduce a new word to the programme’s young (and stoned) viewers. The LA Galaxy star chose the word ‘persistence’ and went on to explain why it was so important to him. Er, I bet he’d […]

The cheeky young scamp. You should respect your elders. Don’t you know he’s got an MBE? Shame on you. This young Chelsea fan pretends he wants to shake hands with the Liverpool skipper, but has no intention of going through with it…