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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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1. Marcos Senna, Villareal vs Real Betis Great vision and even greater execution from the Villareal midfielder.

This clip from French TV shows at least part of the already infamous Battle of the Bridge in which Manchester United players got into a scuffle with Chelsea ground staff after Saturday’s match. It is difficult to see what started the incident (especially as it was allegedly something said by one of the groundstaff). Patrice Evra seems to charge at a groundsman who swings for the left-back, knocking a steward over in the process. Why not sit in a darkened room behind Venetian blinds and make your own judgement on the video for that authentic FA experience?

Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor (right) celebrates with team-mate Emmanuel Eboue after scoring the eighth goal of the game, thereby completing his hat-trick. The win ensures that Arsenal will finish the season in at least third place – they could still win the league, if Chelsea and Man Utd can get no more than one point […]

ronaldo tranny.jpg

Remember the other Ronaldo (the one who was the Ronaldo but got fat and injured and eclipsed by Cristiano)? He has been up to his partying tricks again, but this time his antics backfired. The AC Milan striker picked up a couple of hookers in Rio de Janeiro on Sunday night. But Ronnie’s fun and games came to an abrupt end when he realised that he had quite literally got more than he had bargained for.

Pies looks at some of the sponsors who made it almost impossible to play for the shirt.
1 AC Milan – Pooh Jeans
Milano’s kit was giving off the sweet smell of success in 1981. Manfully modelled by Joe Jordan here.

ac milan pooh.jpg

Out here in the fields, Michael Brown fights for his meals. He gets his back into his living. Or something like that. Cheers to Chringle for this one. The boy’s back on form. More shit lookalikes

Stop the press! C-Ron has won the PFA Player of the Year, for the second year in a row – no surprise there. Ronaldo was not present in person to collect the trophy ahead of tomorrow’s crucial Champions League semi-final against Barcelona at Old Trafford. But he was shown on a video screen accepting his […]

Michael Ballack had his best game in a Chelsea shirt on Saturday against Man Utd, and I believe it’s no coincidence that Frank Lampard was not playing alongside him. The Englishman, who was absent due to the sad, untimely death of his mother Pat, is a fine player but in my opinion he is a […]

Avram Grant celebrates on the touchline after his Chelsea side beat Man Utd 2-1 at Stamford Bridge, a result that keeps the Premier League title race alive.

Little Britain comedian Matt Lucas finds a way to get Cesc Fabregas and Philippe Senderos interested in his team-talk in this viral for Nike. The video also features another plug for Fabregas’ forthcoming TV show.

It’s a beautiful sight for all Tottenham fans – Luka Modric, one of the most coveted midfielders in Europe, sitting in the stands at White Hart Lane. I’m still not sure how Spurs beat the likes of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Barcelona, Inter Milan, Newcastle, Man City and Bayern Munich to the signature of the Croatian […]

This some what dubious video shows former footballer and outspokenTalksport presenter Alan Brazil under arrest for drink driving and providing a breathalyser test. While the ethics of this video are debatable, the humour is undoubted. One of the highlights: “Do you think I’m pissed? Do you think I’m a danger? I’m behind you guys – I’m not pissed.” The ex-Ipswich man was found guilty and banned from driving for 20 months.


Michael Ballack Chelsea’s two-goal hero put the Blues on level-pegging with Manchester United in the title race.

Lines of Umbro’s new England Away shirt hang over Carnaby Street in London, to celebrate St George’s Day.


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

April 25th, 2008

1. Career path ASEC Abidjan, Beveren, Metalurh Donetsk, Olympiakos, AS Monaco, Barcelona (current) 2. Multiple choice Which of these clubs has Fabio Capello not managed? a) Juventus, b) AC Milan, c) Roma, d) Parma 3. Picture round Who’s got chest control? 4. Team-mates Mido, Frank Stapleton, Benni McCarthy and Jan Molby have all played for […]


Good old Kevin Keegan has got Newcastle playing exciting football once again and the fans who feared they were set for a relegation scrap are enjoying the no frills football of mid-table obscurity. But judging by some of the rumours knocking around, Keegan is keen to kick-on and move the Magpies further up the table.

So Liverpool have officially launched their new adidas home kit. And here it is… According to Liverpool’s official website, “The designs are already a big hit at Melwood, where the attention to detail and new V-neck are proving popular.” Yeah, I can see Dirk Kuyt having such a conversation with Peter Crouch: “Ooh, Crouchy, I […]

RANGERS 0-0 FIORENTINA And still the Glasgow club keeps its hopes of a quadruple alive. They’ve been here before in this competition, namely in the quarter final, when they looked average in the first leg at home, drew 0-0, then stole a professional away victory, against Sporting Lisbon. Fiorentina are a better team than Sporting, […]

Did I say mean? I meant absolutely shit – this is so embarrassing you have to watch it with fingers in your ears, to prevent exposure to a woeful Jamaican/Geordie accent.

Depending on who you listen to, Arsenal have discovered either the new Dennis Bergkamp, the new Liam Brady, the new Alex Hleb or the new Cesc Fabregas. No matter which of these players’ shadows you choose to impose over 16-year-old Jack Wilshere, the amount of saliva emanating from the mouths of Arsenal fans is equal. His performance this week against West Ham in a reserve match has left many Gunners urging Arsene Wenger to ‘do a Cesc’ and draft WIlshere into the first-team despite his tender years.

No doubting the big game this weekend. The title will all but be decided at Stamford Bridge tomorrow lunchtime as Chelsea take on Man Yoo in what Sky Sports may or may not be calling the Battle for the Universe in an action-packed commercial set to the Star Wars theme. Anyway, here is a classic moment sent in by Pies reader Mr E Dunphy, of Dublin.


Come with me, Pies readers, on a journey through time and space. Well, a journey inside the brain of Matthieu Flamini actually. The Frenchman’s logic has got me a little baffled so I’m hoping that we will be able to piece together some answers between us.

The basic premise of this new Pepsi advert is that lots of different people are asked to design their own football-related commercial. The results include Cesc Fabregas dashing round playing guitar while dressed as Indiana Jones, and Frank Lampard eating (no suprise there, you might think) and attempting volleys while dressed as a ninja.

Somebody should have told C-Ron that you are supposed to wait until the final before a display like this. Whereas the AC Milan man was dedicating victory to JC, Ronaldo was presumably seeking redemption for another dive. The eleventh commandment according to C-Ron: “Thou shalt give me a free-kick if I hit the deck.”


Any ideas what Ronaldo’s reverse angle would show? I Belong At Real?

RTE pundit Dunphy doesn’t hold back in his condemnation of C-Ron’s “disgraceful” performance against Barcelona last night: Bit harsh on Ronaldo, no? His petulant, look-at-me display was distasteful, but not disgraceful.