• Trinidad & Tobago vs England, in photos (plus video highlights) June 2nd, 2008 Miscellaneous

    The best snaps from yesterday’s friendly in Port of Spain T&T’s fans: prettier than England’s fans.

  • Football fashion crimes: Sol Campbell’s Ali Baba pants June 2nd, 2008 Kits & fashion

    Pompey defender, putting the loon into pantaloons Here’s Sol in holiday mode, strolling along the French Riviera with his WAG Fiona Barratt, an interior designer to the stars. The white t-shirt is fine, the sandals are fine, the gold chain is fine (just about), the trousers are… sweet holy Jesus, look at the size of […]

  • Euro 2008 team guide: Austria June 2nd, 2008 Miscellaneous

    The worst team in the Euros? Almost certainly AUSTRIA (Group B) Group mates Croatia (8 June, Vienna), Poland (12 June, Vienna), Germany (16 June, Vienna) Three most valuable players 1) Emanuel Pogatetz Middlesbrough’s Mad Dog is back in favour, after falling out with Austria’s management before the 2006 World Cup. His brand of tenacious defending […]

  • Euro Classics: Ray Houghton recreates Euro 1988 goal vs England for Baddiel & Skinner June 2nd, 2008 Videos

    Blast from the past, via Phoenix from the Flames Fair play to Houghton for subjecting himself – and his country – to utter, total humiliation. This clip didn’t go down to well in Ireland at the time it was shown – something to do with the relentless stereotypes, I guess. England, fresh from defeat to […]

  • Euro Trash: Uefa Euro 2008 bathrobe June 2nd, 2008 Kits & fashion

    Release your inner Kris Kringle with this overpriced dressing gown

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    What does Santa Claus wear when he is in his hotel room getting ready to go to the opening match of Euro 2008? Probably one of these actually.

  • Six conclusions: Trinidad and Tobago 0-3 England June 2nd, 2008 Top 10s & lists

    England fail to ignite against TnT


    1. That was not worth ten conclusions.

  • Top Six: European Championship penalty shootouts June 2nd, 2008 Top 10s & lists

    Six of the best shootouts this side of a John Wayne film


    1. Holland 0-0 Italy, 1-3 on penalties (Euro 2000)
    An exhilarating match followed by an exhilarating shootout. Despite playing with 10 men from the 33rd minute, Holland dominated the match and failed to convert two penalties in normal time. In the shootout Francesco Toldo was the hero as he made three saves (to add to the penalty save he had made in the match itself).

  • Euro Classics: Davor Suker chips Peter Schmeichel, 1996 June 2nd, 2008 Videos

    Denmark goalkeeper Peter Schmeichel races all the way back from Croatia’s half to get back to his own penalty area. And for all it matters he might as well have started breakdancing on the centre-circle. Schmeichel makes it back to his goal-line just in time to run out again and be lobbed by Davor Suker. As elegant a chip as you are likely to see.

  • Euro 2008 team guide: Turkey June 1st, 2008 Miscellaneous

    The tournament’s dark horse? Not really… TURKEY (Group A) Group-mates Portugal (7 June, Geneva), Switzerland (11 June, Basel), Czech Rep. (15 June, Geneva) Three most valuable players 1) Nihat Kahveci The attacking midfielder (pictured), who can also play up front, had a fine season for Villareal and will be one to watch. 2) Tuncay Sanli […]

  • Euro 2008 team guide: Switzerland May 31st, 2008 Miscellaneous

    This is how the Swiss roll (lame pun alert)… SWITZERLAND (Group A) Group-mates Czech Rep. (7 June, Basel), Turkey (11 June, Basel), Portugal (15 June, Basel) Three most valuable players 1) Alexander Frei Recently became his country’s leading all-time scorer. The Swiss rely massively on his goals, but he rarely lets them down. Frei seems […]

  • The world’s most articulate Chelsea fan? May 30th, 2008 Chelsea

    John Terry is “always on the England team”, apparently Legend. That is all. [Via our friends at The Spoiler] Watch the full interview after the click…

  • The Fiendish Friday Quiz: Euro 2008 Special! May 30th, 2008 Games

    Fiendishness with a European flavour1. Career path Boavista, Benfica, Fiorentina, Benfica (current) 2. Multiple choice Euro 2012 will be hosted by which two countries? a) Poland & Hungary, b) Poland & Ukraine, c) Poland & Latvia, d) Poland & Belarus 3. Picture round Who’s wearing shades? 4. Team-mates Roland Linz, Martin Harnik and Ronald Gercaliu […]

  • Top Six: Bets for Euro 2008 May 30th, 2008 Betting & predictions

    Make money whilst enjoying the Euros, with Pies’s top tips… (prices correct at time of posting) 1. Lukas Podolski to be top goalscorer: 25/1 (Blue Square) Germany will surely go far in Austria & Switzerland (it’ll be like a home event for them) and they have always been great bullies of lesser teams. L-Pod scored […]

  • U.S. pundit Bob Boonah makes us laugh on the Cesc Fabregas Show May 30th, 2008 Arsenal

    Dennis Pennis creator Paul Kaye on top form, as ever Give Paul Kaye a knighthood now. Or an OBE, at least. More Paul Kaye football vids… Kaye as Labian Quest, football chant composer Kaye gives hooligan lessons in self-defence (classic)

  • There’s Only One: Ronnie Ekelund May 30th, 2008 Miscellaneous

    THEN: Ronnie Ekelund has the strange claim to fame of having played Premier League football for two seasons without ever having signed for a Premier League club. The story goes that Barcelona boss Johann Cruyff and his old friend Alan Ball, then Southampton manager, were reunited when the two clubs stayed at the same hotel. When Cruyff asked his old mucker what he would like as a parting gift, Ball replied: “A left-sided midfielder.” He woke the next morning to find a Barcelona tracksuit-clad Ekelund waiting in the lobby. The Dane soon linked up well with Matt Le Tissier and made an impressive start to his Saints career. He scored five goals in 17 appearances. A permanent move never materialised because Ekelund refused to have surgery on a back injury. He had brief loan spells at Manchester City and Coventry City, but injuries prevented him making an impact.

  • Euro 2008 team guide: Portugal May 30th, 2008 Miscellaneous

    Pies tells you almost all you need to know about the Brazil of Europe PORTUGAL (Group A) Group-mates Turkey (7 June, Geneva), Czech Rep. (11 June, Geneva), Switzerland (15 June, Basel) Three most valuable players 1) Cristiano Ronaldo After Lionel Messi C-Ron is the most dangerous attacking force in football. If he wants to be […]

  • Euro Classics: Karel Poborsky’s expert chip, Czech Republic vs Portugal, Euro 96 May 30th, 2008 Videos

    Long-haired Czech shows great Euro vision This goal has just been voted the best individual effort in the history of the Euros. And I have to admit that it is a lovely, lovely solo goal, and one that helped the Czechs overcome Portugal in the quarter finals; they made it all the way to the […]

  • Football Gaydar – Wayne Brown and Boaz Myhill May 30th, 2008

    Hull’s players get carried away about going up…


    Hull City’s Wayne Brown and Boaz Myhill discovered there is nothing quite like securing promotion to the Premier League to create a bit of passion between team-mates. Just look at Brown: one arm round the back, the other in some strange headlock, eyes closed and lips puckered up. He is loving it!

  • Who is going to be worse: Stoke City or Hull City? May 29th, 2008 Stoke City
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    When Stoke City secured promotion to the Premier League, Pies immediately sensed Derby County the sequel. But now Hull City are following them up there could be a genuine battle to be the next Premier League’s worst team.

  • Football videos: England 2-0 USA May 29th, 2008 Videos

    The best bits (i.e. the goals) from England’s win against the lame Yanks Gerrard’s goal was by far the best thing about the game: lovely pass by Barry, lovely finish by Stevie G. Bonus vid of France’s defeat of Ecuador after the break. Well worth watching to see the first of Bafetimbi Gomis’s two goals.

  • Euro 2008 team guide: Czech Republic May 29th, 2008 Miscellaneous

    Pies’ essential lowdown on the bouncy Czechs Group-mates Switzerland (7 June, Basel), Portugal (11 June, Geneva), Turkey (15 June, Geneva) Three most valuable players 1) Petr Cech, Chelsea’s imposing goalie 2) Jan Koller, veteran striker still capable of striking fear into defenders’ hearts 3) Jaroslav Plasil, a wide midfielder who always seems to raise his […]

  • Euro 2008: France leave out Mathieu Flamini, include Lassana Diarra. What does Arsene Wenger know? May 29th, 2008 Arsenal

    AC Milan’s new signing not good enough for France, apparently France coach Raymond Domenech obviously disagrees with the judgment of Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger. Mathieu Flamini, much coveted by Wenger, has been left out of France’s 23-man squad for Euro 2008, whereas Lassana Diarra, let go by Wenger, has been included. So, a Portsmouth player […]

  • Top Six: Holy footballers May 29th, 2008 Top 10s & lists

    Gavin Peacock is going to be a priest (honestly). Here’s Gav and five other God botherers.

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  • Shit Kits: Arsenal, 1991 May 29th, 2008 Arsenal

    This Arsenal away kit is a high profile example of a Shit Kit. The sickly yellow and black outfit donned by the Gunners in the early 1990s has been confined to history as the ‘bruised banana’ shirt (for obvious reasons). Arsenal have had a few dangerous flirtations with the colour yellow, but this effort is by far the worst.

  • Westlife to play at Wayne Rooney & Colleen’s wedding May 29th, 2008 Man Utd

    Irish chart botherers to serenade Roo’s missus Westlife will perform at the wedding of Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin. Westlife are apparently Coleen’s favourite band. How vomit-inducing sweet. The couple are getting married on 14 June in Italy and are rumoured to be spending £3m on the bash, thanks mostly to OK! magazine. God knows […]