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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Master of merks, Rio Ferdinand, gets his comeupance here courtesy of an exercise machine. His face is priceless!

Manchester United’s first team celebrated watching their reserves draw 0-0 with Chelsea last night by going to Ladies Day at Chester Racecourse. Oo-er! Cristiano Ronaldo – who appears to have hired John O’Shea as a bodyguard (now that is a utility player!) – was a non-runner.

Eagles.JPGPies is always eager to see young up-and-coming Horror Hair candidates breaking into the first-team. Manchester United youngster Chris Eagles is an excellent example of this.

Although we love to slag him off for his vanity, Becks hasn’t had that many dreadful hair styles over the years. At least he has the option of a style – Pies is sadly afflicted with male pattern baldness and is in no position to pass judgment…

72940001.jpgBookmakers Ladbrokes have suspended all betting on Sam Allardyce’s appointment as the new Newcastle boss. The bookies don’t get it wrong very often and so it seems like a done deal. Most Newcastle fans seem pretty happy with Big Sam’s imminent appointment, although I have heard some complain that he’s too defensive to please the Toon Army. Bollocks, I say. Sam did a very impressive job at Bolton – people unfairly criticised him for playing negative, long-ball football but which manager extended the careers of entertainers like Jay-Jay Okocha and Youri Djorkaeff?

Added to YouTube in October 2006. I guess you don’t have to be a psychic rodent to know that Dennis Wise is no Roy Keane.

Another brilliant Jose impersonation by Mario Rosenstock, as featured on Today FM’s brilliant Gift Grub spot. It’s funny because it’s true…

1 Watching paint dry
paint.JPG

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Well that was fun. What had been built up as a potential Premiership decider (Super Wednesday! Sky would have screamed) ended up as the dampest squib of the season. The sight of Chelsea’s players dutifully forming a guard of honour for the likes of Kieran Richardson, Dong Fanzhuo and Chris Eagles was faintly ridiculous, and the 90 minutes that followed was zzzzz-worthy. I got so bored I changed channels to watch Ugly Betty – and I’m not even metrosexual.

Chelsea

The Daily Snapshot

May 10th, 2007

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Tomasz Kuszczak of Man Utd stretches for the ball under pressure from Chelsea’s John Terry during last night’s Premiership match at Stamford Bridge. [Photo: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images]

This classic goalkeeping howler sees Blackburn Rovers keeper Tim Flowers being undone by his own vandalism. Stan Collymore’s daisy-cutter hits the stud marks Flowers has put on the pitch to help him with his angles.

If you thought Michael Ball was a naughty boy for stamping on Cristiano Ronaldo at the weekend, think again. This action from the Turkish league takes it to a new level, although the dive which sparks the incident is nearly deserving of the stamp.

Combining the subjects of the two previous posts, here’s a clip of Eamon Dunphy’s TV interview with Roy Keane, first televised in 2003 on TV3 in Ireland. I find Keane endlessly fascinating and he’s clearly an intelligent men, despite some of the brainless things he did on the pitch. Here’s part one of the interview. […]

Not amazingly funny but accurate in as much as Roy Keane probably does have a devil and a slightly bigger devil on each shoulder. [From 2DTV]

New footy website Fanbanta has produced this clip mocking the customary pre-match one minute’s silence. It’s funny because it’s true! No wonder one minute’s clapping is now being touted as the way forward.

‘This madness… they don’t believe it, why are they saying it?’ Taken from Dunphy’s weekly football show for 3 mobile. He’s just brilliant, isn’t he? I could listen to his punditry all day long.

beckenbauer.jpgThis rather nice Adidas track top is an exact replica of one worn by Franz Beckenbauer back in the day. The minimalistic approach to sportswear is to be applauded as Adidas resist the temptation to put a huge logo over the front.

Sensing that cynical bloggers the world over were suggesting his sensational goal was an overhit cross, IFK’s Andres Vasquez has been showing off on Swedish television to prove that he meant it.

Des totally owns Pennis and Alan, who appears to be loaded on Valium, takes it all in his stride…

Oh, Cloughie, never one to mince his words was he? Coming from anyone else, this would sound xenophobic. But coming from Old Bighead, it sounds almost reasonable. What a legend.

74093575.jpgPhew, after the immense shock of seeing Tottenham’s rubbish new kit, I could do with some positive Spurs news. And here it is: Dimitar Berbatov, the best player in the whole world (or at least the best Bulgarian) is reportedly set to stay at Spurs for another season.

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VIF Fredrikstad supporters welcome fans of Lyn Oslo. Brilliant. [Via The Offside]

1.jpegArsenal with a white away kit and now this madness! I’m still not convinced this is genuine, even though the picture seems to be free of the signs of Photoshop. Anyway, Caught Offside has posted this pic of what is apparently Spurs’ new kit for next season. I think it’s a nod to a similar strip worn by Tottenham in the 19th, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it simply out of respect for the club’s traditions.

wine_racks2_small.jpgWith the Premiership title in the bag, Alex Ferguson has written off Liverpool’s chances of winning a sixth European title later this month. ‘I told Carlo [Ancelotti, Milan's boss] at the end of our semi-final that there is no way he can now not win this competition,’ said Fergie.

NewcastleOwen.jpgIt is clear to see that some nasty injuries have claimed a yard or two of Michael Owen’s pace over the years, but he must still fancy his chances in a foot race if reports in this morning’s papers are anything to go by.