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Who ate all the pies

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HEROES
Brian Howard The Barnsley skipper’s late winner gave his side a shock 1-2 win against Liverpool at Anfield (in case you hadn’t heard).

The lovely bloggers at Soccerlens have been generous enough to shortlist Who Ate All the Pies in the category of Best Overall Footy Blog in their blog awards. Please – pretty please, with sugar on top – head over there and VOTE FOR US! PS. I love you all. Did I ever tell you that? […]

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A second Ronaldo Shit Lookalike of the day. The rotund Brazilian is a bit of a ringer for French tennis player Jo-Wilfried Tsonga who, coincidentally, is the cousin of Newcastle United winger Charles N’Zogbia. Don’t say we never teach you anything!

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Marseille continued their new found form by inflicting a first home defeat of the season on Nice. Goals from Mamadou Niang and Djibril Cisse gave Marseille a 0-2 victory. L’OM are now fifth in Ligue 1, two points behind Nice.

Games

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

February 15th, 2008

1. Career path Wimbledon, Norwich City, Wigan Athletic, Watford (current) 2. True or false? Tomas Brolin has played as a goalkeeper in Swedish non-league football 3. Picture round Who’s been listening to Wham? 4. Team-mates Ray Wilkins, George Weah, Jay Jay Okocha, Gabriel Heinze and David Ginola have all played for which club? 5. The […]

Gary Neville has claimed today that team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo is ‘playing on another planet’ this season. But, Pies readers, which planet do you think that is? Vote below… surveys – Take Our Poll

Slavia Prague 1-2 Spurs A very respectable away win that could have been better, but for Radak Cerny’s howler in goal – bring back Paul Robinson, fickle fans cry! (Or just buy a decent keeper, for God’s sake). Spurs actually dominated the game for n hour, and went ahead through goals first-half goals by Dimi […]

‘Oh smeg, I’ve f**ed my knee…’ Thanks to Chringle for this one. More Shit Lookalikes

xavier.JPGQ. Does Abel Xavier’s hair get better with time?
A. No.
LA Galaxy’s other ex-Prem man turned up for pre-season training sporting what appears to be a conehead. There is also something distinctly Tina Turner about this look.

Miscellaneous

York City are magic

February 15th, 2008

Comedians Lee and Herring reveal in this cutting documentary that York City is “just a front for what is the largest covern of wizards, witches and warlocks in Britain today.” So now you know.

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It may be Europe’s second class competition but the UEFA Cup is a difficult trophy to win. Great Britain has five teams still left in the tournament’s last 32 – but who do you think has the greatest chance?

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While we’re still debating over whether to use technology as simple as goal line cameras, there could be far more revolutionary changes to the game in the next ten or twenty years according to The Orange Future of Football Report.

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It was business as usual in Serie A. Inter Milan stomped on towards the title with all the ruthless efficiency we have come to expect of them this season. A 0-2 win at Catania maintained Inter’s eight-point lead as they look like certainties to win back-to-back titles. Esteban Cambiasso and David Suazo were on the scoresheet

Direct running, a few jinky turns and an exquisite chip makes for a fantastic goal from the Argentinian league scored by Santiago Salcedo of Newell’s Old Boys.

Ronaldo (the Brazilian, not the Portuguese) left the pitch in tears after rupturing a tendon in his left knee, during Milan’s Serie A game against Livorno last night. He fell awkwardly while challenging for a ball in the air, not long after replacing Alberto Gilardino in the second half. This is a serious injury that […]

Pies finds alternative careers for the Premier League’s gaffers.
Arsene Wenger – Paediatrician
Studious, unflappable and doesn’t mind working with youngsters.
Martin O’Neill – Film director
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Alex McLeish – Airport taxi driver
Has already dropped from international to Birmingham City once.

David Beckham is pursued by Abel Xavier during a training session with LA Galaxy at the Home Depot Center on February 13, 2008 in Carson, California. New Galaxy head coach Ruud Gullit looks on in the background. The 2008 MLS season begins in March. Photo Jeff Gross/Getty Images

SK Brann 0-2 Everton A satisfyingly professional performance by the Toffees. Phil Jagielka was particularly impressive, whilst Yakubu, back in the team after going walkabout, was a constant threat up front. The goals came from Leon Osman, a player with huge potential but who often seems to blow hot and cold, and Victor Anichebe (pictured […]

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Yes, that’s right – the African Cup of Nations trophy is in fact the world’s most expensive Cornetto. Are those Maltesers round the edge?

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“My shoulders are fairly broad. You take this job knowing it’s always going to be an easy ride.”
So said Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore, taking time out from making plans to ruin English football to discuss his plans to ruin English football with Sky Sports.

September 1981 Glenn Hoddle relaxes in his featureless, suburban garden with then-wife Anne (they are now divorced) in London. Gripping feature about reincarnation in Woman magazine, Glenn? Photo Allsport UK /Allsport

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PSV Eindhoven opened up a nine-point gap at the top of Eredivisie despite only drawing 1-1 with Heerenveen. The result did mean that Heerenveen moved up to second in the table at the expense of Ajax. Heerenveen are level on 44 points with Ajax, but are ahead by seven on goal difference – precisely the number they put past Vitesse Arnhem last week. Feyenoord and NAC are also on 44 points in what seems to be a neck-and-neck race for second place.

I did toy with the Fat man to be suspended headline, but there you go. Heavyweight Inter Milan striker (are they still admitting to owning him?) Adriano decided to rediscover his form by bringing one of Zinedine Zidane’s most famous moves to the Brazilian league, where he is currently on loan with Sao Paulo. Adextramayo is now facing an extended spell on the sidelines for this shove of his cranium.

A tribute to the men with valium voices… 1. Glenn Roeder I dare you to watch all ten minutes of this video without falling asleep and dribbling on your keyboard… A post-football career as a motivational speaker awaits.

Check out some of the horrific coiffs on Italian journeyman defender Milanese, who played for QPR not so long ago. He prefers a variation on a single theme – and that theme is: ‘my hair is indisputedly shit’. Thanks to Zekky for the heads-up.