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Who ate all the pies

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According to the stats (at time of writing), here are the top 10 dirtiest players in the Prem this season, in terms of fouls committed. In reverse order… 10. George Boateng (Middlesbrough) – 59 fouls Boateng is a robust, destructive player who gets through a lot of “work” in each game. He loves a sliding […]


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

April 18th, 2008

1. Career path Schalke 04, AC Milan, Borussia Dortmund, Arsenal (current) 2. Multiple choice Who did Liverpool defeat to win their first European Cup, in 1977? a) Malmo, b) Inter Milan, c) Borussia Monchengladbach, d) Club Brugge 3. Picture round Who’s this? 4. Team-mates Johnny Rep, Romario, Mario Kempes, Patrick Kluivert and Didier Deschamps have […]

An amazing goal by King Kev against mighty Man Utd (wearing blue!) at The Dell… er, except it wasn’t. The linesman flagged for David Armstrong’s offside, thereby cruelly robbing KK of a truly wonderful strike.

Liverpool must repay £31.5 million to banking institutions in little more than a year or risk having to sell Fernando Torres and Ryan Babel! Yeah, can’t see that happening. The Times Avram Grant gives the silent treatment to newspaper journalists after Chelsea’s win at Everton. Daily Mail Hicks vs Gillett, round 1,268: George Gillett issued […]

EVERTON 0-1 CHELSEA Chelsea goal Essien 41 The title race is still alive, thanks to a gritty performance by Chelsea. Winning at Everton is no easy feat, so Avram Grant’s team deserves a lot of credit for scratching out a result, especially without Didier Drogba, Michael Ballack or Frank Lampard in the line-up. Everton, for […]

Ah, you can never start a rivalry too young… Here, Sofia Nati of Germany is tackled by Leah Galton of England during yesterday’s U15 women’s International friendly match between England and Germany at The National Sports Centre in Bisham Abbey, England. I have looked everywhere online for the result but can’t find it – if […]

What a cheeky little goal from Lee Sharpe. The main reason it is forgotten is that United only drew the match 2-2, while Barcelona won 4-0 at the Nou Camp. The Red Devils were left behind at the group stage as Barca and unlikely table-toppers IFK Goteborg progressed. I can’t wait to see these pair getting together on Wednesday night (even it is minus Lee Sharpe!).

How will Manchester United win the Premier League title? Just like that. Avram Grant was coming over a bit Tommy Cooper on the touchline last night as Chelsea picked up three points with a 0-1 win at Everton.

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Remember when little old Def Leppard, from Sheffield, were the biggest rock band in the world? It’s true, they were. Here are the lads, all three of them bona fide Horror Hair candidates, promoting the beautiful game of soccerball in the States…

CELTIC 2-1 RANGERS Celtic goals Nakamura 20, Vennegoor of Hesselink 90 Rangers goal Novo 55 With normal time over, and the score tied at 1-1, Rangers must have thought they were going to snatch a vital point that would have virtually wrapped up the SPL championship. Step up Jan Vennegoor of Hesslink, whose 93rd-minute winner […]

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor Very cruel. Very funny. Via The Spoiler

New signing for our 10 tramp lookalikes – Eintracht Frankfurt’s Ioannis Amanatidis. The scruffy git.


If you believe the newspapers, Roman Abramovich has set aside a £100m transfer fund to bring in new players in the summer. That can buy at least five or six world-class talents (or one Cristiano Ronaldo). Which players should Avram Grant (or Frank Rijkaard, or whoever’s in charge of Chelsea then) have at the top […]

You don’t get too many long distance own goals, let alone ones that are scored with the head. But Parma’s Stefano Morrone achieved this considerable feat against Juventus last night. Excellent finish, but I bet he couldn’t do it again if he tried.

Valencia centre-back lexis Ruano (he’s in there somewhere) celebrates with teammates after scoring his team’s second goal during the Copa del Rey final between Valencia and Getafe at the Vicente Calderon stadium on 16 April 16, 2008. Valencia, who are facing a relegation battle in the Primera Liga, won 3-1, their seventh victory in the […]

The crime ‘Heyyyyyyyy! It’s me, Frankie Boy!’ Here’s Lamps, strolling through the set of West Side Story Fulham, clad in black leather jacket – with collar up, naturally – and 1980s shades. He also seems to be rocking a hideous, XXL-sized watch with yellow (yellow!) strap. The punishment Being forced to watch every single episode […]

Footage of C-Ron during his time at Sporting Lisbon, between 1997-2001: You can see why Man United decided to buy him – even at 17 he had sublime poise, balance and ball control. Watch more early C-Ron highlights, including the performance against Man U that persuaded Alex Ferguson to make Lisbon an offer, after the […]

Hull’s Dean Windass, an old-school English footballer if ever there was one, celebrates scoring the third goal during last night’s Coca-Cola Championship match between Barnsley and Hull City at Oakwell. The visitors won 3-1, a fine result that moved them into second place in the table. Photo Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

Today’s top football stories… Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra (pictured) will conduct a review of the club as speculation mounts about manager Sven-Goran Eriksson’s future. Thaksin has revealed he is unhappy with City’s showing in the second half of the Premier League season. BBC Sport David Villa is ready to snub Chelsea and move to […]

It’s anyone’s guess which two Championship teams will end up gaining automatic promotion to the Premier League at the end of this season. At the moment, West Brom and Hull City lie first and second, with 74 and 72 points respectively, but there’s no guarantee that either will end up in the top flight in […]

Well, it is probably not forgotten by any Evertonians over the age of 20, but the rest of us might need to have our memories refreshed. Graeme Sharp scored this beaut for Everton against Liverpool at Anfield – which makes it just about the perfect Everton goal. Sharp brings the ball down and creates some space with one touch of his left foot before firing home with his right.

Here’s West Brom’s Bedner going down like he’d been shot by a sniper, after a tackle by Wolves’ George Elokobi, during last night’s crucial Championship Black Country derby. West Brom won 1-0, thanks to a goal by Zoltan Gera. The Baggies go back to the top of the table.

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Now there’s an offer you can’t refuse. What does the David Beckham fan who has everything, including David Beckham condoms, need? Why, a David Beckham bin to put used David Beckham condoms in, of course. The man who has lent his face to just about every piece of merchandise available is now the face of LA Galaxy wastepaper baskets.

Remember we told you about the world’s first all-dwarf football team in Brazil? Of course you do! Well, footage of the boys in action has now come to light. Here are Belem-based Giants of the North doing their thing. Their star striker is scarily quick, scarily skllful and scarily short – like Vagner Love’s pygmy cousin. How is a 6ft 4in centre-back supposed to slide tackle this guy and keep a clear conscience?

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We might have guessed he wasn’t quite the reformed character we had been led to believe. The Manchester United star broke the wrist of pensioner Fred Harrison during the recent Middlesbrough-Man Yoo game. C-Ron fired a wayward shot (apparently he does occasionally miss the target) into Middlesbrough fans, and 68-year-old Fred ended up with a broken wrist after putting his arms up to protect his face.