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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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God, you’d think he was a member of the royal family. And don’t think we didn’t see you almost call it football, before quickly realising where you were. Slick.

Palacio%2C%20rodrigo.JPGArsene Wenger has been mesmerised by pendulum-like rat-tail Horror Hair of Argentinian striker Rodrigo Palacio and is preparing to make a £15 million move for him. The 25-year-old had been linked with a transfer to Barcelona, but they have since purchased a little-known striker by the name of Thierry Henry.

Overhead kicks on grass are for wimps. Real men – despite their girly hair – don’t mind hitting the floor with a thud in the name of their art. And this futsal scissor kick is certainly a masterpiece.

Just when you think you’ve got this game sussed… Argentina – who have been on fire throughout this tournament and were favourites to win – get whipped in the final by a Brazil side who have struggled along at times. The scoring was opened with a fine finish from Julio Baptista, who hasn’t be able to hit the proverbial cow’s backside all season at Arsenal.

Chopra.JPGIf anyone knows Pies would really like to find out what the answer is. Michael Chopra is the latest player to move for a ridiculous fee. Cardiff have flogged the 23-year-old striker to Roy Keane’s Sunderland for £5 million, and who can blame them. That is an extra nought on the figure they paid Newcastle for him last summer. Yes, he had a decent season and scored 22 goals but does that really mean he is worth £5 million?

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Oliver Kahn, Germany’s most notable metrosexual, lifts weights during a Bayern Munich training session on July 13, 2007 in Donaueschingen, Germany. Either that, or it’s a German version of hit TV show Superstars.
[Photo: Christof Koepsel/Bongarts/Getty Images]

fabregas_0607charlton.jpgArsenal fans will be delighted to learn that Cesc Fabregas has turned down a move to Real Madrid and pledged his future to Arsenal. The 20-year-old Spanish midfielder had been linked with a return to his native country for several weeks and the speculation wouldn’t go away. Fabregas revealed he has spoken to Real, but was persuaded to stay at Arsenal by Arsene Wenger.

1 CSM Reşiţa, FC Universitatea Craiova, Ajax Amsterdam, AS Roma (current). Whose career?
2 Which European club’s crest features a female wolf?
3 Picture round: who ‘dis?
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75372908-thumb.jpgMonths and months of relentless hype come to an end on Friday 13th of all dates, as David Beckham will be officially unveiled as a Los Angeles Galaxy player today, at 6pm. He will be paraded, like some very expensive pony, before a select audience of season-ticket holders and special guests. About time too, because let’s face it, hype means nothing in football.

Chivu.jpgRoma defender Cristian Chivu was put up for grabs on eBay after a fan got fed up of his on-off move to virtually any Champions League side who would give him the time of day. The Romanian is looking to move amid rumours that the Italian club could not offer the money he wanted in order to stay at Stadio Olimpico. Barcelona, Real Madrid and Inter Milan were all said to be interested, but the news that Barca were having second thoughts led one Roma fan to take matter into his own hands.

This clip from last week’s U20 tie between Brazil and the USA shows Brazilian youngster Luiz Adriano throwing himself into the back of the net at full speed (for some reason best known to himself). His side are losing with three minutes to play, but it is nothing smashing your face into the net won’t solve!

Spare a thought for Uzbekistan coach Rustam Akramov. His nation are not exactly one of football’s major powers, but nonetheless they are currently battling it out for the Asian Cup. The question is: who do you play in goal when all your keepers look like crazed serial killers?

Pies loves a good goalkeeping blunder – and this is a great one. Vietnam’s Phan Thanh Binh unleashes his shot from 25 yards. Qatar goalkeeper Mohamed Saqr lets the ball squirm under his body Massimo Taibi. He can only spin round like a dog chasing its tail and watch the ball roll over the line.

Babel%2C%20Ryan.jpgThat’s Ajax’s Ryan, not the mediocre Brad Pitt movie of the same name. Rafa ‘we’re working with wingers’ Benitez has reportedly got his man after an £11.5 million deal was agreed. The 20-year-old will finalise his move over the coming days.

1 Robbie Fowler to Everton
It would certainly interesting to see the childhood Evertonian lining up in a Merseyside derby against the club where he is known as God. Fowler is available on a free transfer, but a drop down to the Championship or a move to Australia or the States seem more likely than a move to Goodison Park.

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David Beckham and New Orleans Saints star Reggie Bush swap uniforms. [Photo: Adidas/Getty Images]
More Beckham pictures after the jump…

beckhams.jpgFor those of you following David Beckham’s Big Hollywood Adventure, here’s how his diary shapes up for July (this is just the football, God knows what sponsors’ obligations he’ll have to fulfill):
Thurs 12 July: Becks flies from Heathrow to Los Angeles.

Nothing like showing off to your new team-mates with a rebona goal, although you just know that some of them are thinking ‘flash bastard’ as he walks back…

[Via 101greatgoals]

soccerpee.jpgNow you can piss and score a ‘goal’ at the same time, thanks to this ‘football urinal sieve’. The ball even changes colour if you hit the target. Nice touch. According to the website that markets this wonderful invention, Klokicker (for that is it’s name) ‘will make men’s hearts leap and make the women’s league give a loud groan’. Whatever that means.

A football blog dedicated to just one position? It’s crazy but it might just work. To be honest, goalkeeper is the only position that works for a blog like this – keepers are generally madder than a box full of frogs and therefore seem to get up to more crazy shit than players in any other position.

Uruguay would win a Bad Losers World Cup every time. Their senior team scuffled with Brazilian players after the Copa America semi-final defeat on penalties, and their U-20 players started a scuffle with the youngsters from the USA, after their loss (2-1 in extra time) in the U-20 World Cup this week. Don’t fuck with the Uruguay.

fasoiyhfaosihfishf.pngSeveral minutes’ worth of fun to be had from this Arsene Wenger soundboard. I can’t understand why there’s no ‘I didn’t see the incident you speak of…’ but apart from that, it’s pure Wenger, with a fine range of ‘errs’ and other choice gems, such as ‘It is not a long hard thing’ and ‘Don’t force it anymore’.

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New signing David Nugent poses with a Portsmouth shirt after a press conference at Fratton Park on July 11, 2007. [Photo: Clive Rose/Getty Images]

A Brazil v Argentina Copa America final – didn’t see that one coming! This game was a masterclass from the side that deserved to win last summer’s World Cup. Soon-to-be-ex-Manchester United defender Gabriel Heinze gave Argentina the lead with his kung-fu volley. Lionel Messi then scored a goal so cute that you will want to marry it and have its babies. He lifted the ball over Oswaldo Sanchez. Juan Roman Riquelme completed the scoring with a cheeky chipped penalty.