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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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dec.jpgTV presenter Declan Donnelly is reported to be a shock transfer target for LA Galaxy. David Beckham’s new club have reportedly invited the shorter half of the Ant and Dec presenting duo for trials after he impressed them with his finishing during a kickabout for Robbie Williams’ LA Vale celebrity side.

Oh, Frank’s not so bad – he comes across as a decent chap in this documentary, which is a couple of seasons old now. That said, he does seem to have major trouble opening doors and cans, not to mention working a fax machine – and this from the only player at Chelsea to have any GCSEs. Favourite quote: ‘I’m Skinny Frank, this is Fat Frank…’

Click below to watch the rest of the documentary…

Yes, it’s an advert for Nike iD, but Ronnie seems genuinely happy to have designed his own sneaks. In cream and orange though dude? Seriously. And stop it with the hairband already.

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Bayern Munich players warm up during the season’s first training session at Bayern’s training ground, Saebener Strasse, on June 28, 2007 in Munich, Germany.
[Photo: Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images]

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Being a lanky bloke and wearing an England shirt isn’t enough to call yourself a professional Peter Crouch lookalike, surely? But this chap, known only as ‘Martin’, is available for hire, through the website Fake Faces. Money well spent, we’re sure.

Duncan Edwards has come to personify the tragically unfulfilled potential lost in the Munich Air Disaster. Touted by the likes of Sir Bobby Charlton as the greatest player ever, Edwards was just 21 when he died. The lack of footage of him in action is almost as tragic as his premature death, which makes this little compilation of clips extra special.

1 Chelsea, Leicester City, Burnley, Huddersfield Town (current). Whose career path?
2 What nationality is Jean-Marc Bosman (he of the Bosman ruling fame)?
3 Picture round: who’s this?
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74947626.jpgHere’s Bayern Munich goalkeeper Oliver Kahn, aka the White Gorilla, rocking up to Bayern’s first pre-season training session. How metrosexual does he look? Answer: very metrosexual indeed. White jeans, pink A&F t-shirt, Truman Capote-style sunglasses and, the piece de resistance, a cheeky little man bag containing, we guess, a small tube of moisturiser and some lip gloss.

Rumoured to be a Man Utd target, the 23-year-old Sampdoria striker scored two goals on his full international debut for Italy, against Lithuania earlier this month. As this video of some of his best goals from last season shows, he has clearly got what it takes to be a star. The new Roberto Baggio perhaps?

PS Props to Pies stalwart Dom for the heads-up on Fabio.

Tevez.jpgCarlos Tevez has apparently turned down Inter Milan after the Serie A champions attempted to play hardball by imposing a deadline for him to make a decision – suggesting he could yet stay in the Premiership.

This advert for Pepsi from a few years back features the likes of Roy Keane, Peter Schmeichel and the marketer’s dream that is Mr Denis Irwin. As the Red Devils find themselves 3-0 down at half-time, Fergie know only a sugary soft drink can help to turn the match around.

Flamboyant Mexico goalkeeper Jorge Campos – dressed as some sort of day-glo birdman in his self-designed kit – throws a bit of a tantrum after claiming it was a hand that put the ball over the line for this Venezuela goal. He’s sort of right – unfortunately it was his own hand.

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Allegedly soon-to-be Barcelona midfielder Cesc Fabregas seems to have been separated at birth from the Haribo Kid – or is he just trying to mould his hair on Deco to ensure that he takes his place in Barca’s midfield as effectively as possible.

It looks like Darren Bent is off to White Hart Lane, for around £17m – yes, because he is worth more than Thierry Henry. If the move goes ahead, then the soon-to-be-ex-Charlton striker will have to fight Robbie Keane, Fat Mido and possibly Jermain Defoe for the right to partner Dimitar Berbatov up front. (Although […]

2868c0c08e0203aa72268c4ec2990e1c_extras_albumes_0.jpgWhat is it with Real Madrid and successful managers? Real sacked Vicente del Bosque in 2004, after he had steered the club to two Champions League titles, two league titles, a Spanish Supercup, a European Supercup and an Intercontinental Cup. Del Bosque was probably the unluckiest manager to lose his job in football history. And German Jupp Heynckes was sacked after guiding Real to the Champions League crown in 1998.

Gary and Giggsy act like a couple of guilty schoolboys and Rio is lovin’ it. I love the fact they have a Scouse cop to wind Neville up even more.

This clip actually made us laugh, although we have little clue as to what the feck is going on…

‘Lampsy, you’ve killed me!’ Elen Rives, Frank Lampard’s future wife (lucky WAG), calls up and properly embarrasses the England captain by asking him to belt out a Luther Vandross number…

73941584.jpgIf, as is rumoured, Liverpool were to sign Fernando Torres, their roster of forwards would look something like this:
Fernando Torres, Dirk Kuyt, Peter Crouch, Craig Bellamy, Andriy Voronin, Djibril Cisse, Luis Garcia (who can play up front)

Newcastle’s new signing Mark Viduka screws up his eyes, purses his lips and puffs out his cheeks like a toddler having his hair washed as the Australia national team enjoy a session in the pool in Singapore ahead of the Asian Cup.
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It didn’t take long for footage of David Beckham filming his new American football-themed Adidas advert to follow the photos onto the internet. Becks puts running back Reggie Bush through his paces at soccer before learning the basics of American football decked out in his New Orleans Saints gear.

This match was a cracker. Twice Ecuador took the lead and twice Chile begged them back before going on to win the match courtesy of Carlos Villanueva’s free-kick five minutes from time.

Dunga must be wishing CONMEBOL had not invited those pesky Mexicans to compete in the Copa America after they inflicted his first competitive defeat as Brazil boss. Check out Nery Castillo’s excellent Gazza-esque opener. Ramon Corales wrapped the game up with a free-kick which left Brazil keeper Doni rooted to the spot.

Coleman%2C%20Chris.JPGUntil now if you had told Pies that Chris Coleman had an interest in Basques we would have envisaged the ex-Fulham boss creeping round Ann Summers trying not to draw too much attention to himself. But – perhaps even more shocking than that image – it seems the Welsh whinger is being primed for a return to management at recently relegated Spanish side Real Sociedad.

430514_MEDIUMSQUARE.jpgJust when we thought that the purse strings to Roman’s rubles had been tied closed with all the endeavour of an over enthusiastic boy scout, Chelsea actually look set to spend some money.