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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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DirtySancheznike.bmpPies has been keeping a close eye on Nike’s Put It Where You Want advertising campaign, in which Wayne Rooney vents his frustration at Colleen’s latest shopping spree by smacking the ball against a variety of targets (so far a badly drawn circle and an annoying film director have felt the venom of Wazza’s new T90 Laser boots).

da%20costa%20hair.jpgMore Horror Hair talent appears to be Premiership-bound if Rafa Benitez gets his wicked way with PSV Eindhoven over Portuguese youngster Manuel da Costa. Liverpool is a club with fine Horror Hair pedigree from the bubble perms of Keegan and co. to the peroxide dabblings of David James. Pretty soon we should be able to add the wiry mullet of 21-year-old da Costa to that list.

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Sean Bean has given a Sharpe response to Neil Warnock’s accusations that the film star and Blades fanatic upset his family with a foul-mouthed tirade after last season’s relegation.

‘I never think about yesterday,’ says Thierry. That will please Arsenal fans no end.

[Via The Beautiful Game]

Mark Hughes wanted to sign Roque Santa Cruz and now he has his man, signed for a relatively modest £3.5m from Bayern Munich – it’s a good move for the popular Paraguayan striker, who would probably have spent much of this season at Bayern sat on his ass, watching the likes of Luca Toni, Lukas Podolski and Miroslav Klose score goals in the Bundesliga.

Rangers were expected to dominate this CL qualifier but they struggled to impose themselves against the underdogs from Montenegro. And you won’t see two uglier goals in your life.

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FC Dallas fans mock the lack of playing time at the start of David Beckham’s LA Galaxy career with this cheeky Bench it like Beckham banner. Becks did not make the trip to Dallas due to his on-going ankle injury. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Vince%27s%20list.jpgThroughout the recent Asian Cup, Pies feared for Australia as they seemed to be heading down a dangerous road that England had gone down last summer. The Socceroos implemented The Masterplan (© Beckham, Lampard, Gerrard, A. Cole) of telling every man and his dog just how good they were before the tournament, not delivering on the arrogant promises on the pitch and crashing out trophy-less.

Oh, the fickle world of football: Tuesday 31st July: Fergie reveals a crop of promising youngsters he dubs ‘the future’ of the club. “My biggest management job next season will be with the young players – Johhny Evans, Gerard Pique, Danny Simpson Lee Martin, Chris Eagles, Frazier Campbell and Guiseppe Rossi,” he said. “They’re terrific […]

Chelsea%20new%20away.jpgApparently Chelsea’s new fluorescent away kit is supposed to give them some sort of edge on the pitch, although Pies would have to question the logic of having Jose Mourinho’s tactics printed on the kit for opposition managers and players to see.

The other day we told you about Big Sam Allardyce’s complaint that Juventus keeper Gianluigi Buffon had committed ‘common assault’ on Newcastle youngster Andy Carroll at the weekend. Well, the YouTubers of this world have finally caught up and here is footage of said incident. It is certainly reminiscent of the Harald Schumacher incident and, just like Schumacher, Buffon gets away with it. No wonder Big Sam was fuming.

A David Beckham-less Galaxy beat FC Dallas in a 6-5 thriller in the Superliga. Check out Landon Donovan signalling game over at 5-3 (there’s a few more goals left yet, Landy) and Abel Xavier proving why he is no longer good enough for the Premiership with some schoolboy defending. Our apologies for inflicting the Spanish language ‘Gol, gol, gol, gol etc’ commentator on you once again, but try to humour him!

Pies celebrates to truly appalling kits from the Premiership years.
1 Nottingham Forest’s yellow and black away kit
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A big shout-out to Pies reader Mark Sharon for spotting that Kieran Richardson looks rather similar to Micah (played by Noah Gray-Cabey, a ten-year-old classically trained pianist), a character in new hit TV show ‘Heroes’. I haven’t yet seen Heroes, but friends tell me it’s rather good – unlike Kieran, who is rather shit.

Very nicely done, but methinks there’s some computer trickery involved…

Pies might just have a new favourite football commentator in the shape of former Newcastle United player Ray Hudson. Ray is the star of GolTV’s soccer coverage. We first noticed him following the Copa America final. His commentary makes him sound like the lovechild of Jonathan Pearce and Gazza who has popped a couple of Prozac prior to kick-off.

Jose%20Antonio%20Reyes.JPGJose Antonio Reyes is on his way to Bolton. Well, not just yet but Reyes seems to be following the Nicolas Anelka Sulk Route out of Arsenal and we all know where that ends. Reyes – on his way to becoming a journeyman himself – has completed a £6 million switch to Atletico Madrid.

This compilation shows some of the best dives of the last year, starting with some classics from last summer’s World Cup. Enjoy!

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Remember Freddy Adu? The US child star who had most of Europe’s top clubs clamouring for his attention when he was just 14. Well, four years on and he’s just signed for Portuguese side Benfica for a reported fee of around £1m.

BeanSean.JPGNeil Warnock quit as Sheffield United manager after Hollywood actor Sean Bean launched a foul-mouthed attack on him and his family, he has claimed today. Warnock claims a drunk Bean, who is a Blades director, reduced his wife and five-year-old son to tears.

Fatter%20Frank.JPGWell, whad’ya know? It turns out Fat Frank Lampard is actually carrying a few less pounds know than we he was a kid! This is one of a selection of photos in this excellent gallery of footballers when they were young.

instakilt.JPGThe Daily Record reports today that Barcelona star Ronaldinho was presented with a kilt beach towel during the recent tour of Scotland. The ‘bemused’ Brazilian received the gift from a Scottish fan. The Instakilt is apparently a way for Scots to assert their national identity while holidaying in sunnier climes.

A bit obscure unless you’re into comic book adaptations like Blade 2 or Hell Boy. Both films featured the Holllywood actor, Ron Perlman, but if he can’t make the next sequel then we’re sure former US and Blackburn goalkeeper, Brad Friedel, would be the perfect substitute

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Now this is one piece of transfer news that has left my jaw dropping in a most unattractive manner. Okay, so at Birmingham City the limited coffers reduce your targets more than those of the Premiership’s heavy-hitters. Yes, Birmingham is not the most glamourous or alluring place for foreign imports keen to move to the UK, and Steve Bruce’s managerial track record might not include many impressive trophies, but £3 million on

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Now that Henry’s off enjoying the siestas at Barcelona, it’s up to Robin van Persie to step up and be the main goal threat at Arsenal, right? Wrong. According to the Dutchman, goals aren’t all that important, a bit over-rated really: “It’s not my aim to be the top scorer. My aim is to play good football with this team. I think we showed that against Inter. A lot of players are saying ‘oh, I have to be the top scorer’. But for me the first thing is to play football. Of course there are lots of responsibilities because you are playing in front of 60,000 people.”
After all who cares about a goal when you can