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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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This eye-watering video shows Oldham Athletic chairman Simon Blitz having his chest waxed to convince Addicks fans to buy more Coca Cola. It is all in the name of the fizzy drink manufactuer’s grassroots-supporting / die-hard-fan-exploiting Buy A Player competition. Several chairmen have provided video appeals for the Buy A Player website encouraging supporters to shell out.

tevez_carlos_whfc_profile_2006.jpgThis one’s pretty simple. If West Ham lose, they’re down (not mathematically, but there’s no way I can see them escaping); if Chelsea lose, Man Utd win the title (see above). In other words, it’s a crucial game, or, if you like cliches, a massive six-pointer.

best.jpgIn association with The Observer newspaper, Intofootball.co.uk are selling a limited edition 125 prints of Paul Trevillion’s artistic tribute to George Best, titled simply ‘The Genius’. Each print is signed by the surviving members of Man Utd’s European Cup-winning squad of 1968…

garylineker.jpgA machine could soon be deciding the Premiership’s most exciting moments for you instead of Gary Lineker and his Band of Merrymen. Researchers at BT have developed an algorithm which picks out the most interesting bits of a match.

gneville06.jpgGareth1.jpg
Ok, so they don’t look that similar – it’s more to do with the fact that I bet their personalities are a very close match. If Gary Neville worked in a crappy office, he’d be a total jobsworth with a tidy desk and a stapler that he’s written his name on in Tippex.

I won’t spoil it by telling you the result, but you can tell that the loser is gutted…

_42816007_platini203.jpgAgainst the odds, the odd couple of Poland and Ukraine (trips off the tongue, doesn’t it?) have been chosen by Uefa to host the European Championships in 2012. It will be the first time that either nation has ever hosted a major football championship.

_42814093_arsenal203.jpgArsenal move into third in the Prem table, above Liverpool, ending Man City‘s five-goal unbeaten run.

_42814095_carr203.jpgAnother three points in the bag for United, whose lead over Chelsea stretches to six points (seven effectively thanks to their far superior goal difference). Michael Carrick latched on to Cristiano Ronaldo’s through ball to score the opener after just four minutes.

Something has probably been lost in translation, but we still enjoyed Patrice Evra’s take on how to defend against Man U team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo. Evra said: ‘Nobody can stop him. Probably the only way to do it is to kill him. When he runs at you, you try to grab his shirt or do whatever […]

Yesterday you voted Petr Cech as goalie of the season – not bad considering he was out for a long time with a serious head injury. You have good taste Piefolk – Cech was my choice too. Now, the second part in our vote to assemble a definitive team of the season asks you to […]

In-fighting at a table-topping team at this stage of the season would normally spell trouble, but this punch-up between Alan Smith and Darren Fletcher is purely accidental. Smudger gets a bit carried away celebrating Michael Carrick’s opener against Sheffield United last night and gives Fletcher a whack round the head. [Rob Parker]

Scottish outfit Inverness Caledonian Thistle have dropped out of the Intertoto Cup because the first round of fixtures clash with an Elton John concert at their stadium. Any far-flung Eastern European side turning up at the Caledonian Stadium on 15 July will find themselves Crocodile Rock-ing rather than playing half-pace football and wishing they were […]

Pies thought Omar was an out-of-work British soul singer, but apparently he is also a striker for Spanish side Sporting Gijon. At the weekend this Omar netted a spectacular overhead scissor-kick against Castellon. It is the kind of goal you can watch over and over again, something the creator of this video was only too […]

Following Sunday’s reconciliatory hugs and kisses, rumours of Jose Mourinho’s imminent exit from Chelsea have started again today. Jurgen Klinsmann is the latest name to be mentioned with the Chelsea post. Who is the best man to spend Roman’s roubles? Should the Blues stand by the Special One? Only the Pies public can decide! Blog […]

A fitness coach at Uruguayan outfit Penarol has been sacked after administering players with a drug more commonly associated with racehorses. Players at the club tested positive for creatine. “It’s bad, there’s no explaining it,” said team doctor Alfredo Rienzi, who coincidentally has his own website [Via FourFourTwo, Rob Parker]

An England side. Eleven players. High expectations. A series of distinctly average perfomances against inferior opposition. Star players under-performing. Talk of results mattering more than performances and England turning it on when it really matters. And then the inevitable exit. Sound familiar? England’s cricket team have mirrored the dismal efforts of the footballers last summer […]

Here is Villareal’s physio room hermit Robert Pires in his days as an Arsenal winger. A Spurs fan returns the ball to him, albeit with a little more venom than Bobby had anticipated. [Rob Parker]

Red Bull: it gives you rings! Perfect for the fashion senseless Juan Pablo Angel fan in your life, this monstrosity of a Red Bull New York ring is available from MLSGear. It is solid silver with an enamel finish, and is manufactured in the haute couture fashion capital that is Bali. Being punched by someone […]

Aston Villa striker Juan Pablo Angel is the latest player to follow the David Beckham gravy train to the USA. The Colombian has signed a £40,000 a week deal with Red Bull New York. The crap-turned-good-turned-crap-again forward has lost his place in the Villa first team since Christmas and was behind John Carew, Luke Moore, […]

Seems fitting to post this on the day that we’re asking you to vote for the Premiership’s best goalie this season.

David Beckham’s tattooist has nicknamed him ‘big balls’ for being a macho macho man during a six-hour tattoo session. Celeb inker Louis Malloy was stunned when Becks calmly watched football throughout a session under the needle. Malloy said: ‘He doesn’t even wince — he just watched football as I did the elbow to the wrist, […]

It’s been a bit quiet on the HolloWatch front for a bit, so it’s good to report that Ollie’s once again been giving good copy. After Plymouth’s 2-1 win at Luton on Saturday, when he left out defender Tony Capaldi, who wants to leave Home Park, Ollie took a pop at the Bosman ruling: ‘I […]

For the next few days, we want your votes so we can put together a definitive Premiership team of the season, position by position (including, finally, a manager). Naturally enough, we’ll start with the No.1s, namely goalkeepers. Vote in the poll below for your choice for the ‘keeper of the season. NOTE You can only […]

I could fill a list like this 20 times over, but here are ten of my favourites… 1 El Halawani, Apollon K v Panathinaikos I’m a little unclear about the details of this (please correct me if it’s not El Halawani who dived), but I do know that it’s such a brilliant example of the […]