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Who ate all the pies

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74016168.jpgCome on, admit it – you wanted Leeds to go down all along, and the fact that Dennis Wise is involved is a heart-warming bonus. Because who really loves Leeds United outside of Leeds?

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Props to Pies reader Patrick for spotting that Roy Keane-plus-beard is a modern-day King Leonidas (leader of the frankly suicidal Spartans). I can imagine Roy’s half-time team talks in a totally different light now: ‘Mackems! Tonight we dine in hell!’

73376001.jpgJose Mourinho’s Chelsea still have three big trophies to play for this season but I already have half an eye on next season, when Jose will come up against Roy Keane.

20060726_peter_kay.jpgSweet baby Jesus of Nazareth! Accrington Stanley secured League Two status with a thrilling 3-2 win against Paul Ince’s Macclesfield (who are in danger themselves of dropping out of the league) at the weekend. Most English football fans have a soft spot for Accrington, a traditional club whose name reeks of muddied nostalgia and half-time pies. I like them even more now that I’ve discovered their chairman is a real-life Brian Potter (without the wheelchair though)…

Keane.JPGSunderland and Birmingham have secured Premiership football for next season after clinching the automatic promotion places in the Championship. Both sides have returned to top-flight football at the first time of asking after being relegated last season. But what is the reason for Sunderland’s success after a disastrous start to the season?

The FA is to launch an investigation into the disgraceful scenes at the end of Leeds United’s match at home to Ipswich on Saturday. A late equaliser for the Tractor Boys left Leeds all but mathematically relegated sparking a pitch invasion involving several hundred fans.

A tattooed Karlsruhe fan sits on the fence during this weekend’s Bundesliga 2 match between Karlsruher SC and Spvgg Unterhaching. [Photo: Getty Images]

fanbanta_logo2.gifWe love our football here. You know that. We can’t get enough of it. If there’s a new place we can visit to feed our desperation for all things football-shaped, we’ll go there. Well, we’ve come across something that might interest you…

Picture%201.pngPies has teamed up with the excellent folk at RetroFootballT-Shirts.co.uk to create a competition that will bring out the Tony Hart in all of you.

73355864.jpgMiddlesbrough chief executive Keith Lamb has implored Gareth Southgate to toughen up, saying that the young Boro boss will only improve ‘when he gets rid of the naivety, the honesty and integrity and he becomes as shitty as all the rest’.

Sunderland’s Carlos Edwards is fouled by Burnley goalkeeper Brian Jensen during last night’s Championship match at The Stadium of Light. The resulting penalty was scored by David Connolly. Sunderland won 3-2 to go top of the league, two points ahead of Birmingham; if Roy Keane’s team defeats Luton next weekend, they will be promoted to the Premiership. [Photo: Christopher Lee/Getty Images]

Watford.jpgThis week the Premier League bid farewell to plucky Watford. The Pies Fantasy League has been saying a long goodbye to Abney Park Rangers since before Christmas! Meanwhile, it’s hotting up at the top of the table. Tommy’s Where Was Dean Ashton? remain favourites but there are five teams in with a shout.


Good wins for CD Chivas, Chicago Fire, FC Dallas and in-form Red Bull New York, who are unbeaten after four games. [Via Climbing the Ladder]

club45large.jpgFootball – it’s just not cricket and thank God for that.

73489263.jpgJose Antonio Reyes, currently on loan from Arsenal to Real Madrid, recently said he ‘wouldn’t like to go back to London’. Reyes started quite strongly at Madrid, but he’s gone rapidly downhill since his first few matches (sound familiar?) and is now out of favour with coach Fabio Capello.

73517113.jpgThierry Henry says he’ll stay at Arsenal if Arsene Wenger stays too. Good to see a bit of loyalty in football these days. [BBC]

GIANT_CRAB.jpgIan Holloway is on top form in his BBC column this week, reminiscing about the time he played with the late, great Alan Ball and slagging off the poker-playing skills of his Plymouth Argyle players. However, it was when Ollie started rambling about how human beings are losing the art if conversation, that he came up with this pearl of a quote:

SATURDAY
Chelsea v Bolton
Lawro: 2-0
Pies: 1-0
Everton v Man Utd
Lawro: 1-1
Pies: 0-1

Games

The Fiendish Friday Quiz

April 27th, 2007

1 Luton Town, Arsenal, West Ham, Wimbledon, Coventry, Celtic, West Brom (current). Whose career?
2 Which Scottish team does comedian Billy Connolly support?
3 Picture round. Who’s wearing shoulder pads?
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Liverpool

The Daily Snapshot

April 27th, 2007

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Liverpool’s U18 players celebrate beating arch rivals Man Utd on penalties to win the FA Youth Cup, held at Old Trafford yesterday. [Photo: Matthew Lewis/Getty Images]

72672499.jpgDARIUS VASSELL TO SCORE FIRST FOR MAN CITY AGAINST ASTON VILLA (15-2)
The Man City striker has some interesting stats against his former club that may be worth following. He has scored the first goal in three of the fives matches he has faced them (including last two) and has a total of five in five. Playing at home, this is a fair price.

This video of the Chelsea squad being asked to name their best looking team-mate will make you cringe more than a Ricky Gervais sitcom. There is awkward silences, bewildered looks and shoe-gazing aplenty, except from Frank Lampard who seems pretty certain that he wouldn’t mind a piece of Carlo Cudicini! In fact the reserve keeper does seem to be the popular choice. John Terry though – if he “was that way” – would see something in Lampard, apparently.

Arsenal

Arsenal Mastermind

April 27th, 2007

I’m a heterosexual guy but Cesc Fabregas is cuter than a basket full of baby squirrels. And Jens Lehmann knows f-all about squad shirt numbers… anyway, click on to see who is the Arsenal Mastermind champions [spotted on Guardian Unlimited]

Following the Anglo-tastic start to European football this week with the Champions League semi-finals, the Uefa Cup semi-final first legs were a much more Spanish affair. Favourites and holders Sevilla lost 1-0 at Osasuna. The only goal of the game was scored by Roberto Soldado, who was still muttering under his breath about the booking he had just picked up as he headed the ball home.

It’s not National David Beckham Day, although I am sure he will be disappointed to hear it, but there is a fair bit of Becks news today. Aside from his new hair, a 17-year-old Beckham fan has been fined £2,000 for running onto the pitch at the Bernabeu Stadium to give the Real Madrid star […]