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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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Beach football is a relaxing way to enjoy the beautiful game. No one takes it too seriously. Oh, unless you’re bitter South American rivals, in which case fighting is de rigeur – when Uruguay comes from 1-0 down to win 2-1, the Argies aren’t best pleased.

Bernd-Schuster-412.jpgThe King has actually made a remarkable recovery, but long live the new King anyway? Real Madrid’s granite-faced coach, Fabio Capello, may have only just defied all odds to win the Spanish Primera League but he’s still favourite to lose his job.

What a brilliant finish to a brilliant season in Spain. At half-time on the last Sunday of the season, Barca were pissing it away at Gimnastic, whilst Real Madrid were losing 1-0 at home to Real Mallorca, and playing very badly too. However, an inspired substitution by Madrid coach Fabio Capello in the second half changed the course of the title. He took off David Beckham, who was clearly struggling with injury, and replaced him with Jose Antonio Reyes. The on-loan Arsenal star scored two goals to shatter Barcelona’s championship dreams and hand the title to Madrid.

Ooh, we love a good excuse to demand Sepp Blatter’s head! Uefa has launched an investigation into the racist behaviour at last night’s under 21 match between England and Serbia, so while they are at it they might want to examine the logic in the decision of their mates at FIFA to order Mali to release Mahamadou Diarra and Frédéric Kanouté from international duty to play for their Spanish club sides.

Picture%201.pngThis is the sequel to the eminently playable Mario Smash Football on the Nintendo GameCube and it will be one of the first ever Wii games to be fully playable online. Mario and co take to the pitch for some frantic five-a-side action, with loads of special moves galore and Mario Kart-style power-ups. For example, each captain has his or her own set of skills and super abilities, as well as the ability to perform special shots called Mega Strikes, where the iron ball splits into five balls and flies at the goal. The defending player must use the Wii Remote to target and aim at and shoot these balls out of the air before conceding a goal.

Uerukamu! Pies seems to accidentally have a bit of a Japanese flavour today. This video shows Adidas’s latest advertising ploy: organising a game of vertical football on a billboard in the centre of Tokyo. Two players and a ball were suspended by ropes from the billboard while they had a kickabout.

74369961.jpgNo player is bigger than his club, but it someone forgot to tell Thierry Henry, who doesn’t seem to want to stop the gossip about where he might end up next season. I could be wrong, but Henry seems to relish the ceaseless transfer speculation surrounding him, which he could put an end to by simply saying ‘I am definitely staying at Arsenal next season,’ or ‘I’m looking to move to another club…’

America will play Canada in the semi finals of the CONCACAF Gold Cup this Thursday after this comfortable win against Panama in the quarter finals on Saturday. The US’s goals came from Landon Donovan, from the penalty spot, and Fulham’s Carlos Bocanegra, who headed home from a set piece. Panama pulled a goal back late on, but in truth the game wasn’t as close as the scoreline suggests.

Click below to watch highlights of Canada vs Guatemala…

73547399.jpgYou can’t keep a good man down. Plymouth boss/Pies legend Ian Holloway has hit out at Argyle’s fixture list for next season:
The Pilgrims face midweek trips to Norwich, Ipswich, Colchester and Championship new boys Scunthorpe, and Hollers is not impressed.

Pies is getting more and more obscure in its attempts to keep your football humour at an acceptable level over the summer months. This clip comes from the Japanese second division, which – I can fairly safely say – is being featured for the first time on the site! Consadole Sapporo’s Brazilian striker Davi scored a cheeky toe poke on Saturday at the expense of Tokushima Vortis keeper Masahito Suzuki.

david-beckham.jpgTo celebrate the launch of brilliant new travel blog Lost Weekend (brought to you by the creators of most-excellent footy blog Who Ate All the Pies), we have rustled up a competition so tasty that your head may explode just reading about it.

Times%20front%201%20lo.jpgSo many thanks to The Times (they obviously have excellent taste in Pies), for naming us as one of their Top 50 Best Business Blogs. We’re not quite sure how we fit into the business category but since we’re the only football blog on the list we’re sure as hell not complaining. Go us!

You know what, f**k Serbia. Yep, f**k ‘em and their racist fans and hotheaded players – it’s called karma. Good on you Matt Derbyshire for playing to the whistle and scoring the goal that ensured England’s Under-21 team progressed to the semis of the Euro Championship. That’s what we think anyway. Now let’s beat Holland in the last four and f**k Serbia again in the final.

In which Paul Kaye and Little Britain’s David Walliams perform a brilliant sketch featuring the eccentric character Labian Quest, the classically trained composer of football chants. No one says the f word quite like Kaye.

There are some things in football you never expect to see. England winning a major championship, Jonathan Stead scoring a goal or Gary Neville standing on the Kop to take in a Liverpool game during a Saturday afternoon off, for example. You could add to that list Thierry Henry celebrating victory in a Spurs shirt except it has happened – well, sort of.

Congratulations to David Beckham and Real Madrid for winning Spain’s Primera Liga at the weekend. I’m genuinely happy for Becks. We’ll have more reaction later today, but for now enjoy this snapshot special of Beckham’s Spanish swansong…
More pictures after the click…

Teddy.jpgVeteran striker Teddy Sheringham has been arrested for allegedly giving false details in response to a speeding charge. The ex-England international was interviewed by police on 15 May and has been bailed until July. Sheringham’s former team-mates at West Ham Bobby Zamora and Shaun Newton have been arrested under similar circumstances and have also been given bail.

England under 21s are through to the semi-finals of the European Championships after beating Serbia in controversial circumstances. Leroy Lita gave England the lead when he threw his enormous forehead at Steven Taylor’s cross-goal header. The victory was sealed by Matt Derbyshire (or “Durbyshire” according to the American commentator on the video below), who slotted home while being played onside by an injured Serbian player. More evidence that FIFA and the Premier League need to reach an agreement over the correct protocol for kicking the ball out for injured players.

In which comedian Paul Kaye (aka Dennis Pennis) takes a pop at the way our American friends cover soccerball.

The Serbian Under-21 team celebrate progressing to the semi finals of the UEFA U21 Championship after a goal in the 93rd minute secured a 1-0 win against the Czech Republic. [Photo: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images]

Football referees truly are the traffic wardens of the sporting world. Good to see that the crowd’s first reaction is to cheer when the ref gets the ball smacked into his face at high velocity. One bloke even says ‘That’ll knock a bit of f**king sense into ye!’ Or something like that – his accent is so thick I can’t be sure.

He creeps the hell out of me with his permanent grin and blue skin, although the bit where’s he stuck in the tyre swing is mascot gold…

In a break from FFQ convention, we present a picture round special.

David Beckham smiles as he waves to the media during his last press conference as a Real player, on 14 June 2007. [Photo: Denis Doyle/Getty Images]

England can’t hold on to a bloody lead at any level, can they? Leading 2-0 against Italy, thanks to goals by David Nugent and Leroy Lita, Stuart Pearce’s lads let it slip in a big way. In the end England were very lucky to escape with a draw, after being comprehensively outplayed in the second half – none of the English players seemed to have a clue how to play it simple and keep possession.