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Who ate all the pies

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Michael Flynn of Blackpool celebrates scoring the equalising goal during the Championship match between Scunthorpe United and Blackpool at Glanford Park on December 3, 2007. Photo Gary M. Prior/Getty Images

After scoring a fine goal at struggling Arminia Bielefeld, Franck Ribery ran to the Bielefeld section, where he taunted the home fans, who had been giving him some gentle stick – Reuters Soccer Blog claims that the Bielefeld fans had been singing ‘We have Kamper, who needs Ribery?’, an ironic reference to their playmaker Jonas Kamper. […]


The Tuesday Teaser

December 4th, 2007

Guess the three footballers from each set of picture clues:

David Cameron
We have just got rid of one England manager who changed his policies depending what the press and the public said, so we don’t need another one. Besides he is only two rows away from Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyon so he would probably prefer a job with the Blues.

1990 Chris Waddle and Paul Gascoigne lark about in Santa Claus costumes. I have no idea why they are doing so, but it’s par for the course where Gazza is concerned. Photo Ben Radford/Allsport

Chringle, our Shit Lookalikes specialist, has outdone himself this time. I don’t know what new form of crack you’re on Chringle, but I’d like some please.

Werder Bremen beat Hamburg 2-1 in Bundesliga’s crunch match this week. The club’s remain in second and third place respectively but the result leaves Hamburg three points behind Werder and four points adrift of Bayern Munich.

If you answered no then you obviously didn’t see BBC’s Inside Sport last night. If you answered yes then please form an orderly queue. Self-centred doesn’t cover it. Gabby Logan could have asked him what he had for breakfast and the answer would have been along the lines of: “Well, when you’re me there is no point saying what you have had for breakfast because people have already made there minds up what food I eat.”

Probably the first and only musical tribute to Nigel Clough! Irish band The Sultans of Ping shook the music world with all the vigour of a mild bout of indigestion when they strolled onto the scene in the early 1990s. They did leave behind a few decent tracks, including this ode to Cloughie Jnr. The track is available on the excellently titled album Casual Sex in the Cineplex!

‘That is body on body!’ What the hell is this young ‘keeper made of? Titanium? Turn your volume up to enjoy the sound of high-school football carnage. Hit of the year? Maybe. Via Sport Pie

1989 (From l to r) Carlo Ancelotti (currently AC Milan’s head coach), Frank Rijkaard (currently Barcelona’s coach), Marco Van Basten (in charge of the Dutch national team) and Ruud Gullit (recently made boss of LA Galaxy) line up in the defensive wall for Milan against Real Madrid during the European Cup semi-final played at the […]

Sky Sports News might get its fair share of stick for its 24/7 coverage of the most mundane vaguely football-related activities, but here is evidence that the BBC were doing it 38 years ago. David Coleman presents live coverage of the celebratory dinner held by Manchester City following their FA Cup win.

Scenario 1 Robbie Keane was sent off for a clumsy tackle that warranted a yellow. Keane is a mouthy sod, always in the ear of any ref, but he is not a dirty player. (Watch the incident here)

Didier Deschamps tries to fake a smile as Theo Zagorakis draws France in the Euro 2008 Group of Certain Death (see below).

I didn’t expect Arsenal to get three points out of their trip to Villa Park this weekend. Martin O’Neill’s side came into the game full of confidence after their 4-0 win at Blackburn, and they would have fancied their chances at home to the league leaders. But in the first half, Arsenal destroyed them. Emmanuel […]

Liverpool 4-0 Bolton Wanderers Peter Crouch shields the ball from Gary Speed.

Real Madrid gave themselves a four-point lead at the top of La Liga after both their nearest rivals slipped up. Looking at the fixture list, Real would probably have been content to maintain their one-point lead but second place Villarreal lost 2-0 at Vallodolid. And, as if that wasn’t good enough, Barcelona could only muster a 1-1 draw against city rivals Espanyol.

Sebastian Larsson His stunning late winner gave Alex McLeish victory against Tottenham in his first match as Birmingham City match.

What’s all this about then? It was one thing for Big Sam Allardyce to insist on playing a striker in midfield, but now he appears to have taken to playing a porcupine in midfield. Alan Smith has rekindled his love affair with peroxide. Unfortunately there wasn’t enough left in his last bottle to do a full head of hair.

There are two very different stories at the moment for French football giants past and present. Lyon are currenly numero un – still top of the table after their 0-2 win at Rennes at the weekend. Former champions Paris St Germain on the other hand are sitting in the relegation zone after their 2-1 defeat at Nice.

I’m already bored with tabloid speculation about England’s next manager, and especially the tedious ‘Jose in come and get me plea!’ bollocks being spouted incessantly by not just the red-tops, but broadsheets too. That said, I did want to post on this issue, because it gives me a chance to showcase my headline-writing skills. Yes, […]

Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi and Kaka have just been announced on a three-man shortlist for FIFA’s World Player of the Year award. The award voted for by the managers and captains of the national teams of FIFA’s member nations, will be presented at FIFA’s world player gala in Zurich on 17 December. That’s a pretty […]

‘The biggest football job in Europe and in the world is to be the England manager.’ Sven-Goran Eriksson, November 2007 I respect Sven’s opinion, but I think his quote is mere hyperbole. Forty years ago, maybe it was true, but surely there are bigger management jobs in world football these days? To manage any of […]

1 Crystal Palace, Birmingham City, Crystal Palace (current). Whose career? 2 Who played for England at least once every year for 15 consecutive years, a record for any England player? 3 Who were the first English team to win a European trophy since the Heysel disaster in 1985? 4 What do Lucas Neill, Sam Allardyce, […]

Neil Warnock wants to build his Palace team around a 15-year-old midfielder. The prodigy’s name is John Bostock. You may have heard of him – the hype wagon is already rolling. Bostock, who hails from Camberwell, made his Palace debut last month against Cardiff, aged 15 years and 289 days. He has already captained England […]