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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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72745653.jpgNewcastle striker Oba Martins survived a terrifying ordeal in his native Nigeria this week, when the car he was driving was shot at by masked gunmen. His mate was hit and wounded, but Oba escaped unharmed.

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Fabio Cannavaro of Real Madrid is helped to his feet during a warmup with young Israeli and Palestinian players before the match between Real Madrid and a Palestinian & Israeli XI at the Ramat Gan stadium on June 19, 2007 in Tel Aviv, Israel.
[Photo: Uriel Sinai/Getty Images]

Aliadiere.jpgGooner, going, gone! Jeremie Aliadiere, The ferret-featured Arsenal striker signed for Middlesbrough in a £1.5m deal where he hopes Teeside fans will finally be able to put a face to his name.

1 Stefan Kuntz
The former German international was a key figure at Euro 96 for both his team and the British tabloids.
2 Milan Fukal
The Czech defender was once on trial with Leeds and linked with a move to Manchester City but has since gone on to do Fukal. He now plays for hometown club FK 97.

lalas_portrait.jpgAlexei Lalas, general manager of LA Galaxy, has said that MLS is one of the most competitive leagues in the world: ‘It’s insulting to us and to our sport to say [David] Beckham is on his way to Hollywood when he is coming to play in one of the most competitive leagues in the world,’ the deluded ginger said recently. ‘There are a lot of stars in European football who would struggle over here.’

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Stuart Pearce tussles with David Nugent, Mark Noble and Steven Taylor during an England U21 training session at the Sportpark Ressenon in Bemmel, Netherlands.
[Photo: Phil Cole/Getty Images]

Welcome to Who Ate All The Dogs: you’re one-stop guide to football in South Korea (or so it seems!). Yesterday ended up being Japanese Day, but today – like an overworked correspondent at the 2002 World Cup – we are in Korea. After a spot of Korean scouting it is time to sit back and enjoy some a Korean gameshow. Thierry Henry will be playing the part of bemused Westerner in today’s performance!

73940447.jpgAccording to the Current Bun, Barcelona will look to Arsene Wenger after losing out on the Spanish league title to great rivals Real Madrid. Frank Rijkaard is expected to step down following Barca’s failure to win either the Primera Liga or Champions League.

More proof that John Terry’s wedding last week was the classiest show in town. News agency Ananova reports that pissed up guests heckled the great Lionel Ritchie, who had been booked to perform at the reception: Rich Tea was reportedly stunned to be heckled when he sang for Premiership footballers at John Terry’s wedding. The […]

lgsam.JPGChelsea Phone Chargers and Fulham Fridge Floggers are pushing each other around while arguing over who loves South Korean international Lee Chun Soo the most. The West London rivals are both eager to keep their Korean sponsors happy by signing a player who could warm their bench with the efficiency of a Korean microwave warming your dinner.

Following yesterday’s goalkeeping blunder from Japan, we are off to Brazil today for more crazy keeping antics. The scoresheet of Botafogo’s match with Nautica at the weekend will say Alex (o.g.) for all eternity, but it ought to be on goalkeeper Julio Cesar’s conscience. This was no blistering strike from 30 yards!

Continuing on a beach football tip, check out this advert from Israel’s tourist board, which helps explain why the country didn’t make it to the World Cup…

fistonmanuella.jpgLeague One outfit Millwall are ready to offer a trial to mdifielder Fiston Manuella, who was jailed for two months earlier this season for headbutting an opponent.

melon_head_cat.gifAnother gem to add to the ever-growing pile of memorable Jose quotes:
‘Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good,’ Mourinho said recently.

Beach football is a relaxing way to enjoy the beautiful game. No one takes it too seriously. Oh, unless you’re bitter South American rivals, in which case fighting is de rigeur – when Uruguay comes from 1-0 down to win 2-1, the Argies aren’t best pleased.

Bernd-Schuster-412.jpgThe King has actually made a remarkable recovery, but long live the new King anyway? Real Madrid’s granite-faced coach, Fabio Capello, may have only just defied all odds to win the Spanish Primera League but he’s still favourite to lose his job.

What a brilliant finish to a brilliant season in Spain. At half-time on the last Sunday of the season, Barca were pissing it away at Gimnastic, whilst Real Madrid were losing 1-0 at home to Real Mallorca, and playing very badly too. However, an inspired substitution by Madrid coach Fabio Capello in the second half changed the course of the title. He took off David Beckham, who was clearly struggling with injury, and replaced him with Jose Antonio Reyes. The on-loan Arsenal star scored two goals to shatter Barcelona’s championship dreams and hand the title to Madrid.

Ooh, we love a good excuse to demand Sepp Blatter’s head! Uefa has launched an investigation into the racist behaviour at last night’s under 21 match between England and Serbia, so while they are at it they might want to examine the logic in the decision of their mates at FIFA to order Mali to release Mahamadou Diarra and Frédéric Kanouté from international duty to play for their Spanish club sides.

Picture%201.pngThis is the sequel to the eminently playable Mario Smash Football on the Nintendo GameCube and it will be one of the first ever Wii games to be fully playable online. Mario and co take to the pitch for some frantic five-a-side action, with loads of special moves galore and Mario Kart-style power-ups. For example, each captain has his or her own set of skills and super abilities, as well as the ability to perform special shots called Mega Strikes, where the iron ball splits into five balls and flies at the goal. The defending player must use the Wii Remote to target and aim at and shoot these balls out of the air before conceding a goal.

Uerukamu! Pies seems to accidentally have a bit of a Japanese flavour today. This video shows Adidas’s latest advertising ploy: organising a game of vertical football on a billboard in the centre of Tokyo. Two players and a ball were suspended by ropes from the billboard while they had a kickabout.

74369961.jpgNo player is bigger than his club, but it someone forgot to tell Thierry Henry, who doesn’t seem to want to stop the gossip about where he might end up next season. I could be wrong, but Henry seems to relish the ceaseless transfer speculation surrounding him, which he could put an end to by simply saying ‘I am definitely staying at Arsenal next season,’ or ‘I’m looking to move to another club…’

America will play Canada in the semi finals of the CONCACAF Gold Cup this Thursday after this comfortable win against Panama in the quarter finals on Saturday. The US’s goals came from Landon Donovan, from the penalty spot, and Fulham’s Carlos Bocanegra, who headed home from a set piece. Panama pulled a goal back late on, but in truth the game wasn’t as close as the scoreline suggests.

Click below to watch highlights of Canada vs Guatemala…

73547399.jpgYou can’t keep a good man down. Plymouth boss/Pies legend Ian Holloway has hit out at Argyle’s fixture list for next season:
The Pilgrims face midweek trips to Norwich, Ipswich, Colchester and Championship new boys Scunthorpe, and Hollers is not impressed.

Pies is getting more and more obscure in its attempts to keep your football humour at an acceptable level over the summer months. This clip comes from the Japanese second division, which – I can fairly safely say – is being featured for the first time on the site! Consadole Sapporo’s Brazilian striker Davi scored a cheeky toe poke on Saturday at the expense of Tokushima Vortis keeper Masahito Suzuki.

david-beckham.jpgTo celebrate the launch of brilliant new travel blog Lost Weekend (brought to you by the creators of most-excellent footy blog Who Ate All the Pies), we have rustled up a competition so tasty that your head may explode just reading about it.