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Who ate all the pies

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Could someone please remove Scott Carson from the pitch?
What can McClaren say to turn it around in the in the second half?

Not many of us thought that England would still be in contention to qualify for Euro 2008 ahead of tonight’s game against Croatia. But Israel’s win against Russia has inspired a comeback of biblical proportions – and a win tonight could leave us deceptively top of the group.

Holland scraped past lowly neighbours Luxembourg with a 1-0 victory at the weekend. The win secured qualification for Euro 2008 but the Oranje would have been expecting to do so in a more emphatic manner.

Ever Klinsmann-dived the length of a urinal head first into a puddle of other people’s Matt Le Tiss? No, me neither and I intend to keep it that way. This Aberdeen fan, on the other hand, went paddling at Parkhead.

77979972.jpgFollowing the impressive response to yesterday’s open appeal for suggestions for a Shit Lookalike for Ronaldo, Pies is now giving you the chance to select your definitive Ronaldo Shit Lookalike. Among the pick of the suggestions were Kenan Thompson (aka Kenan from Kenan and Kel, Fat Albert), American sports presenter Greg Gumbel, Coronation Street actor Craig Charles and cartoon character Dennis the Menace. Click continue to have your vote or let us know if you think someone should be added to the list.

A slightly weird video from FanBanta featuring comedian Kevin Day. England boss Steve McClaren shows off some of his special powers.

Having already qualified for Euro 2008, Germany’s match against Cyprus at the weekend was a case of running through the motions. They ran through the motions very well though with goals from Clemens Fritz, Miroslav Klose, Lukas Podolski and Thomas Hitzlsperger provided a 4-0 drubbing.

cake.JPGPies hero Ian Holloway has demonstrated his sweet tooth by discussing his love of fudge cake in his BBC column this week. Asked by a reader what his favourite cake was, Ollie said: “Black Forest gateau’s lovely, but if I was going to choose anything for a pudding it would be fudge cake with a nice bit of ice cream on top.

Horror Hair

Horror Hair: Ronaldo

November 20th, 2007

77979972.jpgI though that Ronaldo was bald by default rather than choice, but that was before dude grew a ‘fro. It seems that the rotund one has hit the bottle and resorted to hair regrowth products.

Steve McClaren has a few important decisions to make before tomorrow’s game against Croatia but who’s going between the sticks could be the deal breaker.

Before the paint on Israel’s upright saved us from Russia scoring the goal that would have knocked us out of Euro 2008 we ran a poll asking if Steve McClaren should be sacked if what we thought the inevitable happened.

It’s a tribal divide that we thought existed with the Scots seemingly more willing to wish England bad luck than we do against them. So now feel free to leave any words of consolation or otherwise for the unlucky Scottish supporters.

Managers in the English lower leagues have been trying to convince the world that direct football has the best results for years now, but it is certainly true in this instance. Just look how this keeper celebrates his input to this route one goal. Bizarre!

While you might be of the opinion that it would be taking the piss if England failed to qualify for Euro 2008, head coach Steve McClaren was doing just that when they were given one last chance to qualify. The England boss missed the exciting conclusion to Israel’s victory over Russia because he had nipped to the loo.

Despite a disastrous start to their qualification games, Spain booked their place at Euro 2008 with a comfortable 3-0 home victory over Sweden. Goals from Joan Capdevila, Andres Iniesta and Sergio Ramos ensured that a qualification which has included defeats against Northern Ireland and Sweden, when the sides last met, ended in success. Spain now […]

They only went and did it! England were given one last opportunity to mess up qualification for Euro 2008 after Israel defeated Russia 2-1 on Saturday night. Goals from Elyaniv Barda and Omer Golan secured victory for the home side.

We all know what the tabloids think, there are conflicting reports about what the players think, but what do you think? Should Steve McClaren be sacked if England fail to qualify for Euro 2008? Has he under-achieved in the job or are the players to blame? Has he had enough chances to stop the rot or does he need more time to stamp his authority on the England set-up?

Marseille ended Lyon’s momentum in their bid to win a seventh successive Ligue 1 title. The underdogs emerged victorious in the battle of the Olympiques. Marseille are currently fourteenth in the table – while Lyon are top of the table – but they picked up a 1-2 away win on Sunday.

Let us know if you can come upo with a better caption for these lovers of kung-fu fighting

There’s never been much love lost between the English and the Scottish, especially when it comes to football. So, the prospect of England missing out while Scotland qualify for Euro 2008 is daunting.
We’ve decided to put this to the test by asking members from each nation to vote for whom they will be supporting as the Euro qualifiers come to a head

In the days before football agents introduced slick PR and brand management to their clients, players took any advertising money they could get. Take the case of legendary Tottenham keeper Pat Jennings. He would think nothing of dressing up as a shot-stopping oil filter for a quick pay-day. You just wouldn’t catch David Beckham dressing up as a wiper blade or Joey Barton acting like a dipstick…

Just look at that cheeky chappy Roberto Carlos. He knows what he’s doing: he wants to throw his water all over the linesman and he does just that! There is no eye contact made afterwards, just a casual wave of apology. I would like to see one of the Premier League boys try this on a freezing November evening and get away without a card!

Sometimes, personal battles go beyond sport and get personal resulting in relationships that will never truly heal. We’ve come up with a first XI of football’s most famous enduring arguments

This is what Pies’ Shit Lookalikes are all about: it’s so shit that it’s good. Either that or it’s just shit!

With England fans crossing their fingers and hoping for Israel to pull off a shock result against Russia on Saturday, Pies celebrates the Israeli players who have plied their trade in the Premier League.
Tal Ben Haim
The no-nonsense centre-back arrived in England in 2004 when Bolton Wanderers signed him. During his three years at the Reebok Stadium he became a highly sought after defender. Chelsea eventually snapped him up on a Bosman free transfer this summer.