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Who ate all the pies

Dip in to scour the latest Deadline Day titbits...

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When Pompey keeper David James was asked if he would like a feel of the ball before kick-off he decided he wanted a bit more for his money…

The flashest car in the world vs the flashest footballer in the world. (And do you think Bugatti gave Cristiano a free Veyron? I doubt it.) Via The Beautiful Game

So Paulo Wanchope will no longer wear the national shirt of Costa Rica. He scored 45 goals in 72 international appearances, a very impressive return for such a wildly inconsistent player. Wanchope, still only 31 years old, played for three Premier League clubs in his career: Derby, West Ham and Man City. He was something […]

‘I am evaluating whether to decide on a definitive captain, or to appoint a provisional captain. I have first to know the candidates well. Please don’t take this as indecision. The captaincy issue is a very important one for England. I must come up with the right choice. A captain must be a leader, someone […]

One is a bespectacled tactician proud to be serving the English public, the other is Fabio Capello.

Cash-strapped outfit KFC Uerdingen (they’re finger lickin’ good) have placed their manager’s post on eBay in an attempt to raise funds. The highest bidder will take charge of the bankrupt regional fourth division team for 24 hours to sample “all the joys coaching has to offer”.

Luca Toni (right) larks about in the campest possible fashion with team-mate Willy Sagnol, again during Bayern Munich’s Marbella training camp. Photo Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images

Bayern Munich striker Luca Toni lifts weights during Bayern’s training camp in Marbella, Spain. Feel the burn Luca. Photo Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images

Watford player Al Bangura has been granted a work permit which means he no longer faces deportation from the UK. The Sierra Leone-born midfielder was told in December he would have to leave the country. But the 19-year-old has now be told he can continue to play for the Hornets.

Here’s US commentator Max Bretos calling a Riise free-kick. Beats John Motson, any day. (The Kraken is a mythical sea monster, in case you didn’t know.) Links Liverpool Pies

Jeez, I hope the guy in red who kicked the ball didn’t go home and kill himself. Via The Beautiful Game

As scripted, boy genius Alexandre Pato scored on his Milan debut, in the Rossoneri’s 5-2 rout of Napoli at the San Siro. The 18-year-old Brazilian netted Milan’s fifth with a cool finish. There’s no doubt that Pato has all the talent to become football’s next global superstar. He’s potentially better than Kaka, Messi, Ronaldo et […]

I meant to put this team up when we were 19 games (i.e. exactly halfway through the season) into the Prem campaign. Still, better slightly late than never… here, for you to peruse/violently disagree with, is Pies’ Premier League team of the season, at the halfway stage (it will be interesting to see how much […]

Table-topping Real Madrid beat bottom-side Levante 0-2 courtesy of a late Ruud van Nistelrooy brace. The Dutchman broke the deadlock with a 76th minute penalty and added a second goal three minutes from time. Barcelona ensured they didn’t fall any further behind than the seven point they already trail the champions by with a 4-0 thrashing of Murcia.

No goalkeeper to stop this going in, but you can’t deny that this is a lovely, curling finish from spin bowler Mushy (as he was celebrating Sussex CCC’s C&G Trophy win at Brighton & Hove Albion).

Remember Wayne Rooney’s Put It Where You Want It viral for Nike? Well, here is the behind-the-scenes that proves he was unable to hit the camera at the first attempt. No, Wazza’s accuracy is so poor that it took him three whole attempts before he found his tiny target.

The most direct indirect free-kick I’ve ever seen. Knowing how hard Big Alan can twat a ball (very hard indeed), there’s no way I’d want to be in that wall. Nicely worked goal though – a ruthless finish from one of England’s most ruthless finishers.

The perfect manager for Newcastle? It’s not Alan Shearer (no experience) or Kevin Keegan (a ghost from the past), but Jose Mourinho.

1214051.jpgI have Sky Sports News on in the background, and all I can hear is the anchor reading out excited emails/texts from Newcastle fans who are creaming themselves simply because Kevin Keegan hasn’t ruled himself out of the Newcastle manager’s job (having had a microphone/TV camera thrust in his face). The general gist of most of these messages is: ‘Come on Mike Ashley, give us the dream team of Keegan and Shearer, two Toon legends! Howay the lads!’

And we’re are not talking about one of Mickey Thomas’s tenners here. This video puts together some of the worst acts of diving, simulation and feigning injury and puts them together in a neat little package for you.

Bayern Munich players train in Marbella, Spain. Photo Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images

Kieran Richardson The ex-Man Utd whinger winger put in a classy display and scored a brace to earn Sunderland a priceless three points against Portsmouth.

A sloth, Jens Lehmann, a fat kid with a mountain of selection boxes to work his way through and Laurent Robert in a defensive training session. These are just a few examples of things that are more active than a Ligue 1 footballer in January.

This slightly disturbing advert for Carlsberg Sport will leave you wondering if it is you or the squirrel who has been on the juice. This squirrel has serious skills!

little%20and%20large%20urawa.jpgJ-League outfit Urawa Red Diamonds show off new signing Naohiro Takahara. The Japanese international striker has joined from Eintracht Frankfurt. I’m not convinced about his strike partner though – she makes Michael Owen look like Peter Crouch. [Note to Ed. – not to be used in the new Babe with a ball category!]