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Who ate all the pies

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Liverpool have apparently made a bid for Dutch U-21 star Ryan Babel. The Ajax forward is rated as the brightest young prospect in Dutch football by none other than Marco van Basten and has already been linked to Arsenal and Newcastle – whadyareckon?


Volzy does Wimbledon

July 9th, 2007

gingervolz.jpgPies’ favourite nutcase Moritz Volz, the wackiest player in the Prem, has been taking in the tennis at Wimbledon. As per usual, this was an excellent opportunity for an exciting entry in the Fulham man’s online diary (one day this will be printed and become a bestseller, Pies is sure). And, as per usual, the diary entry was packed with the kind of crazy quotes we have come to expect from the German.

Real Madrid legend Alfredo di Stefano (left) and gobby president Ramon Calderon (right) welcome new coach Bernd Schuster to the club at the official photo-call at the Bernabeu (Photo by Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images).

a%2520schuster-thumb.jpgFormer German international Bernd Schuster is the latest man to be handed the poisoned chalice that is the Real Madrid coach’s job. The 48-year-old has left mid-table Getafe to take over at the Bernabeu, where winning the league gets you the sack.

There has been talk of Rafa Benitez’s striker selection headache since the arrival of Fernando Torres at Liverpool, but he could soon have another option in the unlikely shape of Javier Mascherano. The Argentine midfielder – who is usually required to take his passport with him for ventures into the opposition half – is on two goals in two games for his country. He was on target as Argentina eased past Peru to face Mexico in the Copa America semi-finals. Juan Roman Riquelme (twice) and Lionel Messi also found the net.

Mexico were always favourites to win this game, so when Paraguay goalkeeper Aldo Bobadilla picked up a red card in the 2nd minute it was pretty much game over. Monobrowed baby/lethal in-form striker Nery Castillo tucked away the subsequent spot-kick, and added his second the other side of a Gerardo Torrado goal. Fernando Arce then scored the pick of the goal from 25 yards, before a Blanco penalty and Omar Bravo tap-in completed the rout.

whu_1164106448_chairman1.jpgIt’ could be a tale of two chairmen if Carlos Tevez completes a move to Man Yoo later today – apparently he’s completing a medical in Venezuela in a deal that could eventually be worth more than £30m.

Hmm, if you thought Peter Crouch has ‘good feet for a big man’, you want to check out some of the mad skills Zlatan has in his locker. He’s a bit of a big-headed show-off, but I love watching him.

With photos like this knocking around, is it any wonder that Marco Materazzi finds himself being forced to take people to court for libel?! This is crying out for a caption that Marco’s lawyer could really get his teeth into… Pies signing off before we end up with a date in the High Court ourselves!

So fiendish you’ll eat your own hands in frustration…
1 Shakhtar Donetsk, Dynamo Kyiv, Tottenham, West Ham, Dynamo Kyiv (current club). Whose career?
2 Which Turkish club are nicknamed ‘The Yellow Canaries’?
3 Who’s this new Premiership recruit?

ZidMat.jpgItalian World Cup winner Marco Materazzi has begun legal proceedings against three British papers he claims libelled him after the 2006 World Cup final. The Inter Milan centre-back is seeking damages from The Sun, Daily Star and Daily Mail over their reports of insults he made to Zinedine Zidane.

tevez3.jpgDamn, why can’t a football transfer be as simple as ‘You pay us what we want for this player and he gets to wear your shirt…’?

Some say nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. But now that another icon, Monsieur Henry, has left our league we took a moment to reflect on the finest overseas imports that have ever played in the Premiership.

landon_donovan12.JPGA big fat ZERO. Yeah, nil points. That’s what the USA scored in this year’s Copa America, after defeats at the hands of Argentina, Paraguay and Columbia. Eight goals conceded, two goals scored.

Something to please Spurs fans this morning: New Tottenham signings Younes Kaboul, Darren Bent and Gareth Bale pose with manager Martin Jol (far left) and sporting director Damien Comolli at Spurs Lodge on 5 July, 2007 in London, England. [Photo: Hamish Blair/Getty Images]

Copa America’s invited guests from the North, Team USA, are out of the tournament after their third consecutive defeat. The Americans lost 1-0 against Colombia with Jaime Castrillon scoring the only goal of the game.

steve%20bruce.jpgBirmingham’s prospective new owner Carson Yeung has revealed he will foist Hong Kong players upon manager Steve Bruce. Blues fans will be delighted to hear that the businessman sees their return to the Premiership as the perfect opportunity to test the credentials of young Hong Kong players. The return to the top for flight could degenerate into an international exchange programme!

This classic clip shows the hilarious moment when a boy invaded the pitch in a Manchester United versus Leeds United game to take a shot on goal. The youngster finds himself on the end of a Willie Morgan cross, but drills his first-time shot just wide. It is not a bad attempt – even Pele would probably lose a bit of accuracy if he was playing in Dr Martens! The scamp takes a kick from Peter Lorimer for his troubles before scurrying back to the sidelines.

Kaboul.JPGFresh Horror Hair talent arrived in the Premiership today as Spurs wrapped up the signing of French under-21 captain Younes Kaboul. The £8 million-rated centre back seems to be going for some sort of thatched cottage effect. Pies is not sure what the sticky stuff holding his hair in place is, but there is every chance it originated from Martin Jol if the spherical Dutchman’s gushing quotes are anything to go by. He said: “If you ask people in France who is seen as the hottest prospect in defence they will say Younes Kaboul. It’s important to have quality players in defence and with him, we have that.”

In honour of Rafa’s new goatee, Pies celebrates 10 football managers who shunned the shaver before him.
1 Artur Jorge

Asamoah.jpgAsamoah Gyan – the Ghana striker who made a big impression at the 2006 World Cup – is the latest footballer to be tempted into the recording studio. The Udinese player has recorded a track for the new album of Castro, dubbed ‘Ghana’s 50 Cent’.

We spotted this beauty on the ever-excellent Left Back and just had to pay tribute to (ie. steal) it. Top work chaps, love it…

Eduardo da Silva – First Interview
Uploaded by Nvboy

A silly question you might think, but one that needs asking. Da Silva is unproven and talented – just as Thierry Henry was when he first came to Arsenal. So do you think Arsene Wenger has unearthed another diamond in the rough, or will Da Silva struggle to make an impact in the Premiership?

8243.jpgSpurs have won the race to sign France U21 captain Younes Kaboul from Auxerre. Kaboul, a 21-year-old central defender, was also linked to Roma and Inter Milan. The fee is reported to be in the region of £8m. Spurs definitely need to strengthen their defence of they are to challenge the big four, and this signing is a good start. ‘If you ask people in France who is seen as the hottest prospect in defence they will say Younes Kaboul,’ Spurs boss Martin Jol told the club website.

As spotted on 101GreatGoals. Good to see an Englishman at No.1. Makes us proud…