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Who ate all the pies

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Brazilian goal scoring legend Romario has announced his retirement from football at the grand old age of 42. During his career he’s scored untold goals for European clubs like PSV Eindhoven and Barcelona and in Brazil with Flamengo, Fluminese and Vasco Da Gama – not mention winning the 1994 World Cup with his country.

Who ate all the pies? Not Tom Huddlestone, at least not these days. The Hudd has reportedly lost a stone and a half since the arrival of Juande Ramos, a loss that you can clearly see in these two pics above. The one on the left was taken in July 2007; the one on the […]

Barcelona wonderkid Bojan Krkic, 17, is eligible to play for Spain and Serbia. His dad, also called Bojan, is Serbian, whilst his momma is Spanish. Luis Aragones has just called him up to Spain’s senior squad for the friendly against France, a move that essentially says to the Serbian football authorities: ‘Krkic is our player […]

It’s not just the placement of the backheel, it’s the casual elegance of the flick. A simply beautiful goal, from a player who appreciated more than most the aesthetics of the beautiful game.

Cristiano Ronaldo considers the meaning of life before Man Utd’s game against Tottenham at White Hart Lane. Either that, or he’s just spotted a cloud that looks like a puppy. Photo Getty Images

Cameroon 3-2 Tunisia Three goals for the Cameroons – is that the right word? – and no goal for Samuel Eto’o? Despite Eto’o not stretching his lead at the top of the all-time scorers’ list in the ACN, Cameroon did enough to sneak past a plucky Tunisian outfit, in what was an enthralling game. Tunisia […]

While Stevie G will be given the first chance to lead out Fabio Capello’s England revolution, it will be a few months before the rightful owner of the captain’s armband is decided.
Click through to vote from a list of leading candidates.

The clip from Match of the Day 2 shows the Premier League’s naughtiest mascot, Billy the Badger, getting up to mischief. Firstly he taunts Avram Grant in what can only be described as an act of badger baiting. More recently, he delayed the kick-off for the second half of the Fulham-Aston Villa match with his breakdancing antics.

You could be forgiven for thinking that one of the perks of employing an Italian as England manager would be the guarantee of stylish kits, but apparently this is not the case. Perhaps England’s new away kit was too far down the production line for Don Fabio to intervene. We are stuck then with this […]

Pies compiles a team of players who are Shit Lookalikes of the FA Cup.
1 Richard Wright
That is one way for a keeper to make sure he can reach the top corner.

There’s nothing in the football rule book that says you can’t score with your back. Via 101GreatGoals

Saturday’s Premier League game between Spurs and Man United didn’t seem like the dirty game that a total of 10 yellow cards suggests it was. And, since United picked up seven of those cards, much to Fergie’s dissatisfaction of course, the club have incurred an automatic £25,000 fine.

Both strikers are playing their parts in the transfer window’s most protracted saga – Portsmouth sold Benjani to Man City to fund a deal to bring Defoe from Spurs, but it now seems that Defoe is only on loan while ‘complications’ have prevented the Zimbabwean from joining City.

Half-time at a football match in Holland (can anyone tell me what ground it is?) and out come the freaks… losers on the Dutch version of Pop Idol, to be specific. This clip is a couple of years old, but I’ve never posted it before for some mysterious reason. Always cracks me up.

It’s clear that Ivory Coast are by far the strongest team at the Africa Cup of Nations. They destroyed Guinea 5-0 in the quarter finals, and will surely get past either Angola or Egypt in the semis. The only man who can stop them from lifting the trophy is… Michael Essien. He has dragged Ghana […]

Oh, how I wish this story were true. Alas, I don’t think even Goldenballs’ balls are that big… Spotted on The Spoiler

Thanks to reader John Rain for this bizarre spot – they must share the same barber. I’ve never seen Nightbreed, and now I don’t think I ever will… this Peloquin character looks scary. More shit lookalikes

79494592.jpgFootball is a team game, but it’s amazing how much of an effect one individual can have on his ten team-mates. Witness Jimmy Bullard’s match-winning performance for Fulham against Aston Villa at Craven Cottage yesterday afternoon. His return from a long-term injury has lifted everyone at the club; it’s no coincidence that Fulham struggled in Bullard’s absence.

La Liga table-toppers Real Madrid suffered a surprise 2-0 defeat at Almeria allowing Barcelona to reduce their lead to six points. Barca almost blew their golden opportunity though, and only a Xavi goal two minutes from time secured victory at home to Osasuna.

Francesco Totti floats like a butterfly and stings like a mildly irritating nettle. The frustrated Roma skipper was desperate to retrieve the ball from Siena’s former Arsenal keeper Alex Manninger during his side’s 3-0 defeat. He unleashed this barrage of punches at Manninger, which (if you watch carefully) actually causes the Austrian international to blink at one point.

Jimmy Bullard – Welcome back, Jimmy. The Fulham man marked his return from 16 months out injured with a match-winning free-kick against Aston Villa.

Perhaps the biggest surprise from the announcement of Fabio Capello’s first England squad is the exclusion of a certain international brand name – but there are also a few faces that made it into the squad that we didn’t expect to see.


The Fiendish Friday Quiz

February 1st, 2008

1. Career path Piacenza, S.C. Leffe, Hellas Verona, Piacenza, Parma, Atalanta, Juventus, AC Milan (current) 2. True or false? Chelsea’s stadium, Stamford Bridge, is not located in the London borough of Kensington and Chelsea 3. Picture round Who’s having a laugh? 4. Team-mates Dan Petrescu, Mark Hughes, Kevin Keegan and Eyal Berkovic have all played […]

Out-of-sorts Marseille thrashed Caen 6-1 to show they might finally be ready to start the season. A Djibril Cisse hat-trick, a Mathieu Valbuena brace and (simple maths dictates) a solitary goal from Samir Nasri gave Marseille victory, although Caen took the lead just two minutes into the match. Caen remain three places about ninth-placed Marseille in the table, which probably helps to explain just how bad L’OM have been so far this campaign.

Thierry Henry and Carles ‘scary face’ Puyol celebrate Henry’s match-winning goal during the Copa del Rey match between FC Barcelona and Villarreal at the Camp Nou Stadium on 31 January 31, 2008. Barca won the tie 1-0 on aggregate and progress to the semi finals. Lionel Messi had a second-half penalty (wrongly awarded after Bojan […]